Puerto Ricans (652 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.44 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jenevieve Parker <Jenevievejs.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-12-23 18:36:46 EST
How to interact with your puerto rican.....
When your puerto rican relocates, and you go to his house to help him move, you should wait patiently while he clears off the television. When you go to grab one end and he lifts the whole thing, offer to assist. Maybe he didn't notice you were about to help him. When he says "no no I got it", laugh and tell him he is doing his ancestors proud. He will then laugh with you and say "Yeah, look. I can even run with it!" Point out that it must seem odd to him because there are no alarms or sirens going off.
Giggle when he vents about having to shop in the "ethnic section" at the supermarket. Then suggest he branch out and try things other than Goya products.
When he tells you plantains are pronounced plah-tah-nose, call them plantains anyway. He will then make fun of your honky white ways, but what are friends for?
Do not ask to see his green card. He will then be able to justifiably call you stupid. One of our friends tried this, and was picked on endlessly. Then our puerto rican threw our friend Mike under the bus. He outed him as the one with a green card cause he's from Canada. The "eh", "moose", and "kick the baby" jokes ensued.
Tell him not to run in public. He looks suspicious enough naturally.
Try not to laugh too hard when he tells you something very unflattering about his girlfriend in spanish, and she is standing right next to you. The girlfriend will usually pick up on this if you are laughing so hard you can't breathe.
Take it graciously when he picks on all the white people living in trailers....but when he tries to offer you what he considers traditional white food known as spam, tell him you are not Hawaiian.
Insist on referring to him as a Mexican once in a while. Especially a dirty or lazy one. They love that.
When they have a crazy girlfriend (and they all seem to be attracted to the crazy ones) do him a favor. Take him out to the strip club or local bar once in a while. Get him completely trashed and then drop him off at home. When the girlfriend freaks out, allow him to blame you. Suggest it even. You don't have to live with her!
Don't let him near your ex girlfriend. Hey, you can only trust a puerto rican so much.
This one is for you Brandon. You're the best! ......even if you do threaten to steal my rims once in a while.
User Reviews
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-12-24 20:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:41:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Y HALO THAR FRANKTHEBEAR
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nope
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:41:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Y HALO THAR FRANKTHEBEAR
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:28:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this just sucked...
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-12-24 05:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Never met a puerto rican, but some of the generic racism in here made me laugh.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2008-12-23 21:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
zzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 20:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oops
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 20:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEEHAW!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Jenevievejs (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have an East Indian friend. He calls me a Deceitful Backstabbing Cracker and I call him a Filthy Puerto Rican.
It's fun because it's completely untrue and ridiculous.
__________________________________
That's awesome!
Submitted by Jenevievejs (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was not smart. Uber is gonna eat you alive, Miss Parker.
For instance... How's NH treating you?
See how easy that was???
_____________________
If you're gonna insult my intelligence, then at least get my info right. Besides this was meant to make people chuckle.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you are a real person, then this post wasn't a good idea.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am 1/3rd Romanian and the rest of me is purebread mutt.
I'm going to Romania for the 1st time in mMy actually.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Snark, what is your ethnicity if you don't mind me asking?
PS: I think this is an Oathy alter.
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Or to put it in Ubersite terms I'm a Romipolacklimeykikewop
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well this was very stupid and unfunny. Try harder; this is not good enough.
Or if you're over 18 and a girl, you can always show tits for immediate acceptance, short term attention, and long term ridicule.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY HEY HEY!, this is out of line here....
Now let me lay it down for ya,
We don't mind jokes about rape, or molestation, or black jokes, or white jokes, or even the occasional dead baby joke, but who doesn't like that.
It's quite acceptable to post naked pictures of you inserting a vintage 1985 "Mr. T" action figure into your anus, provided you make the title contain an NSFW tag.
What we WILL NOT tolerate is puerto rican jokes.
They're called "spics." Learn to speak American more properly.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know what spic means...
I never know with you people if you are being racist of just fucking around.
The proper response to the above statement is of course "What do you mean 'You People'?"
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I never said, "you people." I said "spics." And spics they are, them there Snarky pooto Riccannsssss...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! I LOVE racism! This must be my birthday!
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You can't be real.
If you are I think I hate you.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know what spic means...
I never know with you people if you are being racist of just fucking around.
The proper response to the above statement is of course "What do you mean 'You People'?"
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! I LOVE racism! This must be my birthday!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
errr may not mMy
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 19:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PuertoRicans are wannabe Mexicans, I.E, spics
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?!
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Look up spics in yer Funk 'n Wagnalls. . . . . . . . .
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am 1/3rd Romanian and the rest of me is purebread mutt.
I'm going to Romania for the 1st time in mMy actually.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Snark, what is your ethnicity if you don't mind me asking?
PS: I think this is an Oathy alter.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PuertoRicans are wannabe Mexicans, I.E, spics
-------------
?!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have an East Indian friend. He calls me a Deceitful Backstabbing Cracker and I call him a Filthy Puerto Rican.
It's fun because it's completely untrue and ridiculous.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PuertoRicans are wannabe Mexicans, I.E, spics
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was not smart. Uber is gonna eat you alive, Miss Parker.
For instance... How's NH treating you?
See how easy that was???
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-23 18:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The "eh", "moose", and "kick the baby" jokes ensued.
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I don't kick babies eh.