Merry christmas from the ghost of christmas present (1158 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.63 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vas Deferens (View user info) at 2008-12-24 09:20:11 EST
It's christmas here in Sector Starpage, it just took me about half an hour to wrap a fucking Wii game - an actual rectangle, so I'm pretty fucking moody.
Merry christmas uber, even to the americunts (not sage she's a fuckwit) but especially to Crystle, Faggirl, darko, Pentameter, Lungfish, pants, Daniel and Wisher. and to rads_wife. what the hey I'm on a roll - even to the bengirls fan/s. A SUPER unmerry christmas to moley and morticia, but mostly to sage the horse-faced fucking idiot blogging idiot hitwhore.
Merry chistmas to ALL the Canadians, except for the whiny-like-litle-girl-bitches steven and snark - this is snark: "ohhhh I'm in wobe with sacrilicious i'm thirty-something but flirt on the internets wib a goth." Karen, marshall petain, marginwalker, bosh - merry christmas. Ro...no, fuck him, who needs a merry christmas when you have a totally hot wife.
Merry christmas to the brits, except for ei who is a jerk circle, orphelia who is a fat and boring cow, jake who follows newcastle and that completely annoying dickswipe, oh no, wait, that's ei. Merry christmas c1ndy.
Merry christmas to the people from countries that aren't relevent, Fey, toe, toe, and toe. and merry christmas to ttom and apoffo.
Merry christmas to all the jews, kracka, and the usurped bertram. Where ever you're from berty, it's a buffer state.
Merry christmas to Michael Jackson, celebrate it wHO-WHO.
But most importantly, merry christmas to future town, how fucking cool are we. I hope Santy brings shandy a pornless filtered internet filter, phallic a liver, sphagnum some heavy duties, thorpe and williamson happiness, circe daylight savings. And Merlina? even though you're irish but live amongst the imperial facists that tried to rape your country? *raises fist* FUCK YEAH INDEPENDENCE, you go girl. Raise baby carrots and truss tomatoes in your little piece of inner london, amongst your overlords.
merry christmas frances.
Sincerely,
d_r.
[seriously though, merry christmas. except for sage, that woot-girls-on-the-internet snark, ei, orphelia, iamamoron, fathead, rad, englebert humperdinck - sp, dorc, wolfenstein-faced-valerie, all the jews, nignogs, republicans, come to think of it democrats, all the idiots who camwhore shirtless or bang on about being a marine - so fucking what??, I'm a guy from Australia maybe I SHOULD POST ABOUT IT, anyone who frequents this site but claims to be an actual author - I mean you don't see that vapid harry potter slag posting here, and everyone else who is a total dumbarse. So that includes Ilikesteak (fuckhead), locksly, sage, these new guys sandman (even though he hates sage) and fatso, and ei. did I mention ei, the new I'm so whacky I must be a brit dick muppet?]
merry christmas. and I secretly love you corey, not as much as frances, but it's pretty fucking close.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-04-02 14:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally missed this. Where's my insult, hmm?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-01-10 11:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH YOU DON'T EVEN MENTION ME?
I'M HURT, HURT DEEP
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-08 02:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why not me? I dont get this. Who the hell are you and why are you calling me a fuckwit (or maybe you'd reason that you were more calling me out for BEING a fuckwit, but eeehhh, semantics).
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*blinks...............................................*
FUCK YOU BERTY
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you DR. Please have a daughter so I can marry her and then we can be family.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2009-01-06 01:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're BACK!!!
SWOON
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-12-30 22:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no more mr nice guy cause i swear to god the next time i come there i'm gonna use my secret decoder ring frends, show them an official piece of paper, yeah i can still get them and tell them an additional lie or two or three and use their information to hunt you down like the scurvy cur-dog you've become
merry x-mas and i got your happy new year right here...
<grabs massive bulging package requiring two hands>
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-12-29 08:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Merry Christmas robot. I hope you got some hair dye from Santy Claus
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-29 07:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DR I LOVE YOU, a)i never read this post before b) I have read it now and C) will read it again
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-27 15:38:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-27 05:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-26 03:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQ5YtBVdLM&feature=PlayList&p=70D67E94D9283632&index=22
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hey, dickhead - I have little kids. I can hardly click on a link to god knows what with them cruising past, pausing, and saying "hey, Dad, what are you clicking on." You must be a moron. If we weren't the same person I'd smash your face in for being an idiot. Stop plus two'ing my own posts.
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Dude, I hate to break this to you but I hate seeing my alter ego so deluded.
Those aren't your kids. They're a couple of star wars action figures that you dress up and take to the park sometimes. You need to stop. It's embarrassing us both.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-27 05:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-26 03:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQ5YtBVdLM&feature=PlayList&p=70D67E94D9283632&index=22
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hey, dickhead - I have little kids. I can hardly click on a link to god knows what with them cruising past, pausing, and saying "hey, Dad, what are you clicking on." You must be a moron. If we weren't the same person I'd smash your face in for being an idiot. Stop plus two'ing my own posts.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-26 03:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQ5YtBVdLM&feature=PlayList&p=70D67E94D9283632&index=22
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-25 04:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got a corona with lime. Which is good because it's a pretty shit beer without, mind you limes are like 14 dollars a kilo at the moment - it would've been cheaper for me to drive over to my friend the poms house (a half hour round trip) and raid his tree. merry christmas mate, and all the best for the new year.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-12-25 02:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The kid is asleep, Santa has come and gone, and I am trying a new Australian beer tonight. Bluetongue. Not bad. Not as crisp as Pilsner Urquell, but not bad at all. At the same time, it has a better after taste than Pilsner Urquell, which is my favorite beer even if I'm not sure I spelled it correctly. I wrote a whole lot of other stuff that I subsequently deleted. Well, saying "subsequently" right there is kinda dumb, I think.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-12-24 22:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha...you're alive! and well, i presume, judging by this display of errr...christmas cheer..
Merry Christmas :)
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-12-24 18:46:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
why am I on embassy duty in germany?
Frohes Fest & Guten Rutsch!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-24 13:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS
Where the fuck have you been?
Have a fucking awesome Christmas my friend!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-24 13:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Merry chistmas to ALL the Canadians, except for the whiny-like-litle-girl-bitches steven and snark - this is snark: "ohhhh I'm in wobe with sacrilicious i'm thirty-something but flirt on the internets wib a goth."
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Ahahahahawha!
You love me because I'm a whiny-like-litle-girl-bitch. You don't have enough whiny-like-litle-girl-bitches in your life.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-12-24 13:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ctrl + f + scourge =/= the appropriate result
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-24 12:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I APPROVE!!!
... what?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-12-24 12:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-24 12:05:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
merry christmas shlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-24 12:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who's the newest retard?
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-24 11:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have to go now because i'm having a frances relapse
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-12-24 11:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well the whole time you're ignoring me a million tiny machines are boring into the abrasion on your left foot. Once inside your skin they will eat your dick and balls (should they be there) from the inside out and regurgitate them out your own mouth at a most inopportune time.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-24 11:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2008-12-24 11:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh...I can *totally* see it now...how silly of me to imply you were an anatomical reference to ejaculation
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i fucking rock don't I? Sometimes, and only sometimes, if I'm playing battlefield 1942 online I call myself audie murphy but i'm an actual german sniper - seriously, and I camp. people are such dumbarses.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2008-12-24 11:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh...I can *totally* see it now...how silly of me to imply you were an anatomical reference to ejaculation
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:54:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Vas Deferens (Ductus Deferens) is a highly muscularized canal that propels matured spermatozoa from their storage location (the epididymis, a canal lined with pseudostratified columnar epithelia topped with stereocilia that resorb excess fluid and prevent sperm capacitation) to the ejaculatory duct and through the urethra (housed in the corpora spongiosum). Sympathetic signals from the spine and brain work together for the ejaculation response, while parasympathetic response is necessary for erectile function - thus explaining the phenomenon of ejaculation in para and quadriplegic patients who are given tactile stimulation but do not display classic symptoms of sexual arousal (Erectile function, swelling of corpora, swelling of glans penis)
+2 because I still remember my histology and anatomy.
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i'm ignoring you bamf.
Okay stixs, get this. Vas Deferens (it's elfy sounding) is the name of my super impact wood elf in Oblivion - the greatest game ever (as long as you exclude/overlook farcry 2, halflife 2, Xcom terror from the deep, fallout 3 and Ultima Underworld. Anyway check this, you have a wood elf, called Vas Deferens - it's fucking edgy and I can see you barring up, but don't stop there. Imagine, if you can, replacing the 'l' in in elfy and then the 'f' with a 'g' and you get "edgy", as long as you replaced the 'l' with a d - and that's what I'm talking about. Forget the spoof related/implied nonsense, *I*, came up with a totally brilliant elven sounding name, that implied spoof - it's awesome.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's better
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Vas Deferens (Ductus Deferens) is a highly muscularized canal that propels matured spermatozoa from their storage location (the epididymis, a canal lined with pseudostratified columnar epithelia topped with stereocilia that resorb excess fluid and prevent sperm capacitation) to the ejaculatory duct and through the urethra (housed in the corpora spongiosum). Sympathetic signals from the spine and brain work together for the ejaculation response, while parasympathetic response is necessary for erectile function - thus explaining the phenomenon of ejaculation in para and quadriplegic patients who are given tactile stimulation but do not display classic symptoms of sexual arousal (Erectile function, swelling of corpora, swelling of glans penis)
+2 because I still remember my histology and anatomy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah, merry christmas.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:29:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well at least i'm in by virtue of not being specifically excluded
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
okay bamf pretty much ruined my +2 streak, but merry christmas to all of you (including bamf) who didn't get a mention, conspicuous in/by your absense. Joedaddy, Jean a thousand n's and e's, rads_wife. but not bart. That polesmoking four-eyed cunt banned me for, get this, being "internet popular". Shove your gay up your arse bart, I never liked you anyway annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, I have a dynamic ip you fucking moron. Oh here's a headstart: "dear bart, I'm a new user, please send me your gay swirly-word code to type into your super secret password field to guanrantee I'm a new user", you stupid, four-eyed cunt.
Merry christmas to everybody but bart and sage. and ei, snark the poof, and all the norwegians. and any fucktard on embassy duty in, I dunno, germany.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:26:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Merry Christmas to you. My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I asked for the DVD of "The Proposition." Then I asked her to take a shower, which she did, and it was good.
Best.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't make it on your Christmas list, so I'll either assume that's a good thing, or I belong in the "fuck you" categories. Either way, have a good one.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-12-24 09:50:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, at least I'm in good company. Except for Sage. Fuck that horse faced slutter slut.
Merry Fucking Holidays to you too. I just rubbed one out at work, so I'm feeling pretty good.
Fat-girl porn FTW!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-12-24 09:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well fuck you too
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-12-24 09:25:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an
appropriate time. Like that day I hit that referee with a whiskey
bottle. 'Member that?
-- Homer Simpson
Whacking Day