THUPA Round 3: When First We Practice to Deceive (642 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.52 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2009-01-02 17:52:11 EST
To mend her we end her
To fix her fit we see her awkward bound
A white cloth balled to still her bell-tongue's wheel
A knock, a short-flung scream
She chokes on her appeal
Pale and bleeding ribbons on the ground
Staring up at heaven she cannot make a sound
We delve and hew
And down the devil's dagger falls anew
That hands may drive the depths below the tear
Absolution, absolution, spare
This woman, blood and bone and hair
To wrist and more remit
Offenses which to us she would not aver
We delve and hew
The run-river ribbons below the ring-still song
Of silence feed the privet and the yew
The inner things for wolves we will attend
That these may flower, bitch or grow
And make a right of her many, many wrongs
Ours, mine and yours, yours and mine
I've dug my hands inside you
And you prove adulterine
A patient agony, a sharp resolve achieved
To mend you I end you
And all that I believed
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-11 17:33:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Daddy-O wrote a poem and I forgot to vote this round?!
Lishy fail
Sry pls
weeeeep
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2009-01-05 23:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-01-05 12:47:42 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-05 02:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
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No posts either.
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+2 to balance out the alter, although more of a +1.5...
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2009-01-05 17:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-01-05 13:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-05 02:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
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No posts either.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-01-05 02:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-05 02:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-04 20:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2009-01-04 18:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-02 18:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo, Peckerhead, that's "tangled web."
Just being my usual asshole self. :D
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Thanks Bubba. ...tangled web... definitely works better. As far as metaphors or cliches or sayings go, I really like this one. The truth is just so strong. More times than not... it all comes out in the wash ;) - also karma can bite you in the ass.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-04 16:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-04 15:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Give it your best shot.
OK.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-04 16:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BLT, you want me to -2 you?
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-04 15:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried to get shlongy to -2 my post but I don't think he's paying attention
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-03 19:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
booyakahsa motherfucker!
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-01-03 18:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-01-03 08:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for effort.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-01-02 23:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-31 23:45:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I resent your aloof attitude towards my poetry submission.
Take this -2* to mean that you have gravly hurt and grieviuosly offended me.
Most likely my phycological issues will be unovercomable.
I just used a prefix and a suffix on the same word.
That's seven shades of sweet
alliteration ftw
abbreviation for the loss
What i'm getting at is i'm pitching tent in shlongy's camp now, fagmatron
*-2 forthcoming after rating period
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-02 19:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-02 18:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo, Peckerhead, that's "tangled web."
Just being my usual asshole self. :D
<uberburytales>
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-02 18:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-02 18:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't resist.
I HOPE THIS DOESN'T COST YOU THE TITLE!~
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2009-01-02 18:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh what a wicked web we weave...
.
.
what? Someone had to do it.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-01-02 18:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I came, what about you?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-01-02 17:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hell. Make that "A cut" not "A knock" up at the top.
Whatever. The author has no control anymore.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-01-02 17:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE IT!!!! See http://www.ubersite.com/m/120483