THUPA R3- Survivorman (562 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: thupa
Rating: 1.8 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by beeltea (View user info) at 2009-01-03 18:48:54 EST
I wanna parachute into a jungle
Into the deep reaches of Belize
Or maybe walk through the Siberian Arctic
When it's negative fourteen degrees
I can build up a fire from some sticks
or make tea from a stray coffee can
Hey, I'm a survivor, man
I'm going to kill a snake and gut it
Even though it's got a rattle tail
I'll even build a raft from palm trees
And through the shore-break I will sail
I never need to worry 'bout fire
With just sticks I still have a plan
Hey, I'm a survivor, man
And if you're worried 'bout shelter,
Don't fret you...
I'll just stack some branches
'top this lean-to...
With any luck, they'll keep out the rain.
And if you're cold at night
and lost your socks...
I'll build a fire big enough
to reflect off the rocks...
My loneliness causes me the most pain.
Someone take me by the hand
So I no longer have to be...
A survivor-man.
I going to set myself adrift,
on a raft on the great blue sea.
Or maybe brave the Kalihari,
And later guzzle up my own pee.
And if you find me eating scorpions,
In a sun-drenched deserted land
Hey, I'm a survivor, man.
I'll shove my hand into a snakes den
Or dive deep down for a sting ray.
I'll eat raw liver from a Siberian yak
Or squeeze water out of of deep clay.
I can find you the best natural edibles,
feeding you is my best plan
Hey, I'm a survivor, man.
And when you need some heat
but have no source...
I'll build a fire with twigs
to give you warmth
Hopefully, you'll survive the evening.
And if you don't,
I will promise you,
I won't take your body
and butcher you...
Even though, you would make some good eating.
I'd just take your cold dead hand,
Cause I no longer want to be...
A survivor-man.
Oooooh-whoooooo
A survivor-man.
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-08 04:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know I know
the internet has not yet been introduced to europe.
you couldn't have some had some thoughts about your trip and taken thirty seconds to share them.
I know how it goes over there in europe.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2009-01-05 23:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2009-01-05 18:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to Europe instead.
Sorry, bud. I really let you down.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-05 18:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey uniter where the hell were you in round one?
signing up for contests and not entering isn't very nice.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2009-01-05 17:38:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2009-01-05 17:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-05 02:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-01-04 20:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Far and away, literally, the best entry yet.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-04 20:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Les Stroud is way better than the English douchebag. Relatively speaking of course.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-04 16:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Because you asked.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-04 16:46:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if you really wanted to even out the -2 shlongy left on orgasmo's post, you have little sally. heck, the only thing i EVER use flakmonkey for is to -2 my posts. well and sometimes to +2 spam other people.
i'd do it, but it goes against my rebel bad boy character too much.
sorry.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-01-04 03:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
heh
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-01-04 03:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and thank you for memories of my younger days
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-01-04 03:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a truly outstanding post and i for one don't have to think about whether or not if i've been to a certain place or done certain things or not because i either have or i haven't so put a check beside each and everyone of those "things"
getting lost in the Kalahari, i thought my Land Cruiser was running out of gas (production defect with guage and light showing empty but in actuality almost 3 gallons was still in tank) so i picked up an armed San in the middle of nowhere to lead me to some "gas" which ended up needing to be strained thru one of my socks before being usable
this motherfucker smelled so bad i ended up driving @ almost 250km for miles and miles with my head out the fucking window but he still had clouds and clouds of green shit-flys swirling around his head and body with no-see'm's providing air-support
when this short little turd got out of my Cruiser, he turned his back to me and farted so hard that his fucking loin-cloth stayed parallel to the ground till he finished pushing
it was like a fucking particle-gun
when i noticed that he had left a piece of THICK-sliced bacon on the seat he decided to escalate the situation by smiling at me
i swear to God, after that it was ON!...i got out and slid across the hood in a nano-second but somehow my brother was faster with his gun(first time in his entire fucking life) intervened and probably saved many lives that one really hot and fucking smelly day
***
sorry dude, i got carried away with one of my adventures
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-01-04 02:44:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-04 01:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
of course, Les also does all his own music and camera work. His program is defiantly better. Don't discount Bear, though. He just does really stupid things.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-04 01:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spuzzum (user info) at 2009-01-03 19:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Les Stroud because he is always starving and complaining on Survivor man.
---
Ha Ha! Yeah, I like Les too, but I will say this: Bear does more amazing shit than Les. I understand that Les is all by his lonesome, and that means he must be more careful; and I certainly respect Les more than Bear, but rappelling down a waterfall cliff by vines or swimming through a river in Siberia makes Bear OK in my book.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-01-03 21:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, if you need some help with the -2ing i'd be happy to let you borrow little sally.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-03 20:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am hilarious.
and beautiful.
and smart.
and on my way to being rich.
being me is fucking awesome.
i am not sure where the cheating comes into play here. if i never discover it, i will come back and -2 this post INTO OBLIVION!!! DUN DUN DUN.
Submitted by Spuzzum (user info) at 2009-01-03 19:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Les Stroud because he is always starving and complaining on Survivor man.
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2009-01-03 19:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...Ha! I like Les Stroud (I think I've seen all the locales you mentioned)...he seems sincere, unlike that British mook....Bear Grylls, who seems disingenuous at times (although I did like it when he walked up to a rotting zebra cadaver and chowed down on its stringy, raw ass meat....!!!!!)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-03 18:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, fuck me in the ass with a big stick of firewood.
I'm fucking impressed.