ADD09 - One for the Sun (1272 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.32 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2009-01-14 13:55:38 EST
Tim tilted his head one way and then the other. He ran his hand over the stylishly metropolitan stubble on his chin for a full minute in deep thought and then turned to Glory and said simply
"I don't get it."
Glory peered back at him through her thousand dollar designer glasses. Her thin lips were pursed in a way that told him she was less than impressed with his intellect.
"You don't necessarily have to. Its art." She replied curtly.
"It's two grasshoppers having a sword fight with their dicks."
"So?"
Tim glanced over at Glory and then winced and turned his attention back to the painting on the wall. He couldn't help but speak his mind despite the obvious signs of Glory's quickly draining patience.
"So how is that art...one for the Sun? The title doesn't even make sense."
Glory replied through perfectly white clenched teeth.
"It's about nature... and man... and how the penis is the downfall of both."
"It's two grasshoppers having a sword fight with their dicks." Tim replied. "It's ridiculous, and they are badly drawn. The top hat on the one on the left looks stupid and the one on the right has three eyes. They don't even look like insect eyes, they look like they were cut and pasted from a picture of some wino... Who painted this?"
"Rob Berg."
Tim smacked himself in the forehead.
"Ohhhh! That guy is a fucking hack."
Glory quickly glanced around the gallery to make sure no one was within earshot and then grabbed Tim roughly by the arm of his suit jacket, and dragged him to the next painting before she would be forced to murder him.
"This is called 'Donkey in the Snow'" she said, her thin voice carrying more than a hint of warning.
Tim stood and stared at it slack jawed. A single tear rolled down one cheek. A short forever later he turned to Glory and said "It's beautiful. Thank you."
Glory smiled and gently took his hand in hers. You're welcome. It's a Snark original.
Tim looked deeply into her eyes then leaned into her ear and whispered "Let's buy it and then go back to your place and fart."
And that is exactly what they did for the rest of their lives.
Fin.
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-06-12 12:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YO!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-12 12:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-06-12 03:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-06-11 17:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can now see quoting people's replies and adding HAHAHA at the end is a common tactic for you
========================
If laughing at idiots is a tactic then I'm guilty as charged.
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-06-11 17:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can now see quoting people's replies and adding HAHAHA at the end is a common tactic for you
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-06-11 17:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-06-11 17:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why, but donkey in the snow made my balls tingle a little bit.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO EGGS AND NO JOHN MOZELIAK = AUTO -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/add09
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-22 01:47:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-19 23:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShySeryna (user info) at 2009-01-19 22:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Dumb. Even the pic is dumb. Unless there is a child that drew it for you.
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hahahaha
Submitted by ShySeryna (user info) at 2009-01-19 22:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Dumb. Even the pic is dumb. Unless there is a child that drew it for you.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-19 20:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Another Ashk sighting!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-01-19 14:47:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what this was for. I have no time to figure it out.
I did however print the donkey and hang it over my side of the bed....for later....or something.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-17 12:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i missd this
it's wonderful
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-01-16 10:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120723 http://www.ubersite.com/m/120723 http://www.ubersite.com/m/120723
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-15 20:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-15 15:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.warmandfuzzyfeeling.com/
===
*blink*
Yeah that's all I got.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-15 15:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.warmandfuzzyfeeling.com/
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-15 13:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hehehe I never intended to enter this, hence the useless story. Grats on your win.
Submitted by Offspring (user info) at 2009-01-15 13:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck. I'll be posting mine soon.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-15 11:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hehehe no worries. This isn`t really an entry because I didn`t really enter.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-15 08:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, no word count and the rules specifically say that you MUST post a word count.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-15 01:45:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Those will be the last words I read before drifting off to sleep. Bring on the sweet dreams.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-15 01:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-14 22:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're wonderful.
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I'm all blushy and stuff.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-15 01:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-01-14 23:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve of heterosexual marriages.
======================
GLALL SIGHTING!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-01-14 23:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve of heterosexual marriages.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 22:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM7jUebDRiw
That's right. NAILED IT!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-14 22:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're wonderful.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-14 21:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it DOESN'T need more donkey you moron, it's got batfink.
*drums fingers*
*sighs*
........................i can't believe all those people sided with experiment. Why can't the see what she's doing??
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-14 21:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
u r gay
check out the artwork on the bottom of this masterpiece you whiney little slag.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69390
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-01-14 21:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-01-14 20:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not too good.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-14 16:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Antius, I think you should reconsider your "no adjustments" policy.
NoNameHere is an asshole of the highest magnitude and will fuck up the balance. Just a suggestion. . . .
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 16:06:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-14 16:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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Please change your name to Carpetmonkey at your earliest convenience.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-14 16:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:24:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
go on then rob, this time I will be nurse
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 using my title.
I'm a fan of original art.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...again?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey EI... wanna cyber spoon?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HACK
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you know i love you FG. apart from the lack of replying to my emails but hey I UNDERSTAND!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 13:55:17 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
laughing has nothing to do with their assesment of you :)
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:*(
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-01-14 15:05:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The original post was funny but that story you added about the art auction ruined me. I can't stop laughing.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
laughing has nothing to do with their assesment of you :)
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok stop! That story just made me laugh harder. People are getting concerned here. There's a madwoman laughing at nothing (or so from their perspective).
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
True Story:
The place I used to work at had an art auction. It was a corporation that owned cemeteries and funeral homes all over North America. The art they were auctioning to their employees was this cheap droll crap that had come from the funeral homes themselves.
During the auction, peoples greed for over priced shitty art got the better of them and the whole thing turned into a round of pushing shoving and a week of accusatory emails.
I drew Donkey in the Snow and put it up for auction on the company Intranet a short time after.
It didn't go over well with management.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I must be getting slap happy here at work. I can't stop giggling at the picture.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well im off to cyber with Rob Berg so FUCK YOU!
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Ask him if he got that box of crayons I sent him while you are at it.
Hack.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well im off to cyber with Rob Berg so FUCK YOU!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a couple of questions before i resume my jealousy
is that donkey flying? and does he have detachable legs
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If you knew anything at all about the physics of snow and Bershkov's Donkey Similcrum Theorum you wouldn't ask such stupid questions.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:26:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://somethingcinema.com/
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Uncouth, soulless, barbarians like you will cost me this contest dammit!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a couple of questions before i resume my jealousy
is that donkey flying? and does he have detachable legs
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:25:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not that big.
I don't to portraits but Donkey in Space is almost done and ready for auction.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
big gay snark and big gay berg sitting in a tree
K I SS ING
:(
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Big smiley face over here - mostly for the donkey! Do you do portraits?
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://somethingcinema.com/
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn you for outing me!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ziiiiiiiiiing!!
Takes one to know one.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
... for a Scientologist.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This snark, rob berg love in is getting me all jealous.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That is because you are cultured.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I riked this arot.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-14 14:00:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Move over Berg. There's a new Sheriff in town.