ADD09: Grandma in the Bus Station (621 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.68 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2009-01-16 07:22:27 EST
Close your eyes.
Somewhere in the world, in a hospital or a care home, a person is dying. Twenty seconds ago their heart stopped, their breathing slowed and their pupils became fixed and dilated. Their brain cells are in a state of panic, trying every trick they know to get a hold of urgent oxygen and glucose. But there is no electrical activity in their cortex. They have flatlined.
First on the scene, as usual, is a young and inexperienced doctor. They're fitter and faster than the others. There's only time to confirm that the patient has stopped breathing before they start with thirty chest compressions, followed by hard breaths of air into the mouth. A cart arrives with a defibrillator, the electric shock machine, at the same time as a few older, less fit doctors. The machine is powered up. Time is running out. The patient is shocked. Nothing.
A blood sample is taken and rushed for instant analysis. The doctors give repeated injections of adrenaline, perhaps atropine, amiodarine, some magnesium. They massage the chest, fill up the lungs, hoping for some response. Still nothing. The doctors and nurses work furiously for ten minutes if the patient is an old man with pneumonia, or half an hour if it's a young man that's got a fighting chance. Nothing. They exchange knowing glances and work for a few token minutes more. Nothing.
Nobody thinks to make sure the deathbed is comfortable.
Finally, a watching consultant officially announces that this person on the bed no longer exists. It's over. The confusing babble known as their 'life' has ended.
Open your eyes. Have a nice day.
[Word Count: 274]
User Reviews
Submitted by registerme (user info) at 2009-01-25 00:25:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
closed my eyes at the start so i couldnt read the post :S
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-01-24 14:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:31:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO EGGS AND NO JOHN MOZELIAK = AUTO -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/add09
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-22 01:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-01-17 13:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aww.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-01-16 15:55:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-16 14:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-16 14:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You didn't quite cheat, but you didn't quite play it straight either. But it's a lovely piece.
Orphelia's comment made me smile.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-16 14:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Offspring (user info) at 2009-01-16 14:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A stretch but very beautiful.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-16 14:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-16 13:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After all your whining about the title, you pulled off a good one. Nice job.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-16 13:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-16 10:55:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Close your eyes.
----------
this presents a problem.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-01-16 10:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-16 09:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, I'm one of those pretentious assholes who never reads filenames unless I see some remark in the reviews.
For shame on me!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-16 09:50:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The reason I'm doing so is because I can't for the life of me see how you tied in the title to this piece
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's all explained in the filename..ish.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-16 09:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
After reading fallen's entry I have to come back and adjust my rating for all fairness. The reason I'm doing so is because I can't for the life of me see how you tied in the title to this piece and he did.
I hope you see the honesty in my rating.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-16 09:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-16 08:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-16 08:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, smashing, super.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-16 08:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this title would've gone well with:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114948
Sorry for the linkwhore.
p.s. This was deserving of a +2.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-01-16 08:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a cheery fucker today aren't you?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-16 07:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't see the relevance of the bits about young and old doctors?
But thats a minor point as I loved the rest of it.
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2009-01-16 07:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very Flash indeed. me likey...
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-01-16 07:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate you.