The Big Day Out and Bruce Willis (908 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I_can_get_you_a_toe (View user info) at 2009-01-22 07:28:00 EST
We were standing near the front of the most pit for 'Dropkick Murphy', some girl wearing earplugs, elbowed her way in front of us and started dancing around wildly. Which is all good, except she had a big fucking backpack on her and it kept bumping into us. My little sister started punching the bouncing backpack whenever it knocked into her, yelling 'Die Backpack Die!'
A new girl just got employed at my work and her voice is exactly the same as that of Bruce Willis's girlfriend in 'Pulp Fiction'
Our plan on Monday is to buy a toy motorcycle and put it on her desk, hoping against hope that when she sees it she'll go 'whose motorcycle is this?'
'It's a chopper baby'
I and my sister were sitting down listening to the Arctic Monkeys play their set when a fat girl with short shorts sat down in front of us. Through most of their set we had an awesome view of this girls butt crack. For 40 minutes we were looking at this butt crack, I turned to my sister and said 'that butt crack is looking at us funny' she immediately turned on the butt crack and accused 'what did you say to me!'
My flatmate is 5 months pregnant; we have all decided that if she has a boy his name will be Bruce Willis. She doesn't like it, but really it's not her decision. She just has not yet realized that with a name like that, that kid will be able to take down a helicopter with a car, AND be friends with Samuel L. Jackson.
We were in the middle of a huge crowd, Pendulum was just about to start, I got belted in the head and my sister got puked on. Drum and bass always draws the classiest people.
I got into a fight with my flatmate when I said that 'Hudson Hawk' sucked balls. We were trying to think of Bruce Willis quotes to put on a t-shirt to give to our other flatmates baby. His submission was 'Yippee kiy aye motherfucker'. Which was too obvious, I thought. Mine was 'You motherfucker, I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna fucking cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!'
Just before Prodigy were about to start, we were jam packed so tight that the only possible way to be closer to the people around you was to have sex with them, It had been a long day, so my sister and I decided to try and get the fuck out of there. On the long, sweaty, turbulent journey out of the crowd, we were accused of trying to steal some man faced girls bag. Insulted, I actively made a try for the bag saying 'I didn't steal your bag bitch, but I will now!'
For some reason, our Bruce Willis conversation turned into, story sharing time of who we had gone to see 'Passion of the Christ' with, then the Hubble telescope.
Zed's dead baby, Zed's dead.
We walked down the stairs to hear the last part of Neil Young's set. We miracously found some seats in the stand near the stage where he was playing and sat there quietly listening. I started crying. It was probably because I was sunburnt.
User Reviews
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-03-11 06:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
look just fuck you.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-03-11 06:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and we had the prodigy and the chemical brothers, back when they played on wipeout on the psx. we had fucking everything. YOU just have heavily produced sellouts like muse, kings of leon and eskimo joe - that's like listening to Neil Young playing three chord 'anti' with pearl jam.
wait.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-03-11 06:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when I was your age I used to go to something called 'Livid'. It was back in the day when music festivals were more clear cut defined by acts that didn't enjoy airplay on high-rotation top 40 fm channels, and especially *not* on videohits. Back then festivals were cool, in an uncool way. It was, or *you* were considered a bit peculiar for even wanting to go, they were never gayed up with american r&bslashhiphop artists, the banal whinings of one hit wonders like 'scribe' or iggypop chord-pirates like jet. and they didn't have sniffer dogs. Even BEFORE I was your age I went to a Bob Dylan concert at Lang Park, the drugs were different but you could smoke them in front of the police as long as you didn't start getting all testy and anti-social about how stoned you were <insert karate move and showing police how yeah, you'll bring it if that's what they want, nodding knowingly>
Things have changed I guess....when I was your age we *welcomed* grunge with open arms, a generation bereft of music that sounded like it relied on and required effort, a forlorn demographic that included only a small few - those who suffered the ear raping eighties, weaned on their totalitarian elder stand-over merchant brothers love of guitar bands and protest singers lest we'd asked - quite wrongly and stupidly, "can we play abba now?" in meek and high pitched voices - in our sunday best, standing at your furious sibling's knee height proffering a large vinyl disk ....understanding even back in 1975 that those same angsty big brothers might dash our brains out on the edge of mum and dad's new hi-fidelity turntable as a crude but effective lesson if we DID ask for abba, fifteen years later we *relished* grunge. We embraced it like a long lost brother (unless he was older than you then we'd just lean over awkwardly and lightly punch his shoulder - with a fairy tap) and MUSIC festivals re-arrived on the same fucking bus and it wasn't about not liking fucking hammer-time and mc dickwad, it was about some decent fucking music again. Sure it's passe now but at the TIME it saved some of us from never wanting to eat dinner ever AGAIN.
the big day out is now kind of rubbish and/or irrelevant. brit-pop and the herd. gah strangles self. cue shlongy raving all dementia like about woodstock and joedaddy about beethoven, but whatever, you know I'm right.
Submitted by crimebusterofthesea (user info) at 2009-01-26 09:39:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An unflinching love of Bruce Willis = +2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-24 11:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-23 13:50:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
when is that mouthy girl going to logon and -2 you.
she seems bitter about something
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hahahaha, yea, been waiting for that one too.
And iddqd, only saw TV on the radio when I was at the Beer tent at the other end of the field, scored me a hat - it dropped on my head out of nowhere. Don't think I could ever be able to attend a BDO in aussie, that fucking heat in a fucking crowd. No thanks, you are brave.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-01-24 01:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if you missed out on seeing tv on the radio, then you missed the best band of the day.
prodigy were the most fun though.
it was SO FUCKING HOT at the sydney one yesterday.
serj tankian is boring as fuck and didnt deserve a main stage slot. the ting tings would have packed a lot more people in that him.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-01-24 00:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I read a post. It sucked.
See? Two can play at this game.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-23 13:50:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
when is that mouthy girl going to logon and -2 you.
she seems bitter about something.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2009-01-23 13:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Highly amusing.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-22 23:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We walked down the stairs to hear the last part of Neil Young's set. We miracously found some seats in the stand near the stage where he was playing and sat there quietly listening. I started crying.
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Me too, last month or so. Got last minute tickets to sit anywhere, sidestage. It is a night I will never forget.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-01-22 22:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-01-22 19:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Abort at all costs. There are more than enough kiwis on this planet already.
Submitted by HotDogma (user info) at 2009-01-22 18:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BDO was the shizzle. I went to Brisbane one.
mad props and shit holmes to Pendulum, Prodigy, Ting Tings, Your Mum etc
Actic monkeys sucked dogs cock though - they played all this new shit which no one knew the words, so i just went to the can and cut a hole in my pocket so when Prodigy came on I can have a wank if was overcome by their awesomeness. I did.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-22 15:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-22 15:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
who?
oh never mind
im bored
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-01-22 15:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality.
People who wear backpacks in mosh pits all deserve a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-22 15:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm confused. You sure that isn't a typo? I'm pretty sure Scourge loves the Sock... which is pretty fucked up if you ask me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-22 15:04:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i like the cock?
i did not know that, sir, so thank you for sharing.
something i don't like is john mozeliak.
i think we can all agree that he is a rat bastard moron and a nancy boy besides.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-22 15:01:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The Arctic Monkeys are a crappy band and all their songs sound exactly the same.
That is all.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-22 14:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-22 18:49:39 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to go to a show with you. we can elbow people in the face in the mosh pit and kick their teeth out when they fall down.
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he's just trying to feign interest in the things that interest you because he has a horrible, horrible addiction to vagina and he knows you're holding.
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fuck! why did you have to say that? i totally could have gotten some pussy out of this until you RUINED EVERYTHING.
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Dont fret hidden, Scourge just likes the cock.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-22 13:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to go to a show with you. we can elbow people in the face in the mosh pit and kick their teeth out when they fall down.
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he's just trying to feign interest in the things that interest you because he has a horrible, horrible addiction to vagina and he knows you're holding.
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fuck! why did you have to say that? i totally could have gotten some pussy out of this until you RUINED EVERYTHING.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-22 13:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funt.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-22 11:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, well, you are some classy lady
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:51:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the intro of the song that follows that dialogue running through my head, but it's difficult to write it out.. I'll give it a shot.
Dernurnurnurnerdududededui - um... yeah, no.
Sounds like you have a cool sister. So do I. I saw Neil Young at Roskilde. I didn't cry though, because I wasn't sunburnt, because it rained all the damn time. Our tents were so mouldy we could have sold them as penicillin.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to go to a show with you. we can elbow people in the face in the mosh pit and kick their teeth out when they fall down.
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he's just trying to feign interest in the things that interest you because he has a horrible, horrible addiction to vagina and he knows you're holding.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Does this have a point? It doesn't seem to go anywhere or make much sense.
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Pretty much no. Go back to the acid.
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I wanted to write back here "I don't want the acid, I want something entertaining to read." But I thought it over, and decided that you were too cool a person to say that to.
Disregard that I just told you that it was what I wanted to write, the point is, I think you're just plain awesome.
BTW, have you had that kid yet, or am I waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy behind the times? Or is it even worse, and I'm once again confusing you with that other preggo New Zealander?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to go to a show with you. we can elbow people in the face in the mosh pit and kick their teeth out when they fall down.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://nz.youtube.com/watch?v=mx7LYPu8m4A&feature=related
Was near these people at the Big Day Out, which explains the bruise on the side of my face.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Does this have a point? It doesn't seem to go anywhere or make much sense.
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Pretty much no. Go back to the acid.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Does this have a point? It doesn't seem to go anywhere or make much sense.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
git
:)
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, sorry...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-22 08:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:54:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my new baby is called elvis
_____________________________
Which baby, Orphy? Didn't you have a full litter?
**runs**
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:54:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my new baby is called elvis
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Would 'Walter Willis' have got the leading role? Or Demi?
I think not.
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the baby will still be called Bruce Willis.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:43:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Atta girl toe!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Would 'Walter Willis' have got the leading role? Or Demi?
I think not.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Going to Vegas today.
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my mama and stepdad went there a couple months back, I told them to ring me when they got there and say 'we're in motherfucking vegas woooo!'
The time difference didn't work out all too well with that. They woke me up and I'm pretty sure I told my mama to fuck off and let me sleep. :(
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
His real name's 'Walter.'
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Really? that changes everything!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Going to Vegas today. +2 for whomever's at the top of the page. Oh, it's toe. Perfect. Will read it later...if it's still on the front page on four days.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-22 07:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
His real name's 'Walter.'