ADD09:R1 - Blurry Polaroids Of Someone Naked *NSFW* (1300 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: ADD09
Rating: 1.45 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2009-01-22 20:26:57 EST
Franklin leaned back in the chair and exhaled a thick bit of smoke. Harry turned down the volume on the telly before he took the fat splif from his friend and puffed away. Sponge Bob giggled away before them and Franklin's cat, Mr. Britches, shoved his little head into an empty bag of crisps.
"Where did yeh find this shite?" asked Franklin.
"Some old git down on Mulberry," replied Harry.
"Um, 's aight yeh know."
"I reckon," said Harry. "Oi, did I show yeh the pic I found?"
"Huh?"
Harry almost fell off the couch as he fumbled about in his back pocket for a wallet. Retrieving it, he opened the cracked leather to pull out a faded, crumpled Polaroid photograph. With a mischievous grin, he handed it over to Franklin.
"Heh, bit o' the nasty here, I see! Nice tits on the lass. Too bad she must be an old bird by now. Shame."
"Nah," replied Harry, "Me Mum is still the looker."
Franklin blinked hard twice at the photograph.
"Eh..."
"Nah, she's not quite as thin these days and I reckon she's not as perky, but she's got a bit more o' the cushion, she has. I'd still give her the what for," sighed Harry.
"Yehr one sick fuck, yeh know that?" asked Franklin.
"Wot? Yeh never wanted te shag yehr mum?" complained Harry.
"Bloody hell, no!"
Franklin roughly handed the Polaroid back to Harry. The two friends sat there in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Franklin stared straight ahead and the quieted cartoon that played on the telly and Harry looked down at the photo, thumbing it absently. Mr. Britches rolled onto his back and looked back and forth between the two.
"Now, when it comes to me Da..." started Harry.
"Oi, get the fuck out."
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-23 23:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-23 23:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey kkkkkk...
I was sitting here like a good girl starting my ADD an hour ago (girl scout's honor, I really was), and I got a paragraph in when my friend called..he called out of work last minute and is in need of me tonight. I know voting ends quick..I might be able to get it in tomorrow some time. I can't promise and I'll understand if it's not cool, but I ff'd on you last comp and that makes me a bad person. So I'll post if I can, and if it counts it counts, if not, maybe I'll post something later anyway. SORRY SORRY SORRY
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-23 19:05:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ohhhhhhhhhh!
www.tickleyourownbum.com
I get it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-23 19:04:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She seems pretty happy given that she has an itchy ass.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-23 19:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit Lishy, hurry up and enter this so I can lose.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO WORD COUNT. YOU LOSE.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LIES.
That is not a polaroid.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO EGGS AND NO JOHN MOZELIAK = AUTO -2
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG I think that is a pic of me? How did you find it and where?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/add09
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-23 16:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Um, 's aight yeh know."
===
Did you just head butt your keyboard for this line?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-23 16:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Readers are assholes. 329 people read this, less than 5% rated it. ChickenSHITS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-23 16:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I AM pigdog scum. HOORAY!!!
Katy, it IS your fault. BOO!!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-23 16:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that's fucked up.
and my fault :(
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-23 16:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guess who didn't read this. Go on, I dare ya!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-23 12:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
eh... this was okay.
your cockney/brit/snaggle tooth/whatever language seemed a bit forced, which isn't too surprising seeing as how you're american pigdog scum.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-23 12:46:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-23 10:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DRBILB
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-01-23 10:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-23 06:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2009-01-23 06:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It made me smile, especially considering the NAMBLA article on the front page.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-23 01:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No. Yo mama.
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V
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-01-22 22:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your daddy?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-22 22:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd call that a win.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-01-22 21:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ohhh nekked
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-01-22 21:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it's got nakedity and faked britlish. Wihn.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-22 20:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Old jokes make great short fiction!
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-01-22 20:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-22 20:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
SHIT! 301 Word Count
LAME!!!