I ate the penis pretzels-shoot me out of mercy (945 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by coley (View user info) at 2009-01-24 07:58:54 EST
I ate the penis pretzels tonight.
You know; the ones...the dudes go take a piss and hold their junk in their hands and don't wash and stick their filthy paws in the pretzels and eat them. I forgot. I ate three penis pretzel sticks tonight. I'm probably going to die.
User Reviews
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2009-01-26 13:17:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The guys in the maintenance shop where I work have been known to sabotage each other's coffee cups by rubbing their penis all over the rim of the cup and then laughing their ass off next time they see the cup being used. They call it 'dirty dicking' the cup.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-25 19:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No...I meant DATE him (or her).
Doctors insist on blowjobs before they pick up a tab.
At least that's what I do when I'm out on the prowl playing the role of "Dr. Shlongy, M.D.".
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-25 18:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-25 17:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-25 09:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-25 00:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will have you know I've blown nobody from any bar ALL YEAR.
I know; it's only January.
Wow...You should probably see a Doctor.
====
I see doctors every day. Am I supposed to blow them? I'd rather blow someone in payroll; if I had to.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-01-25 11:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They still make those and men still use them don't they? Penis pumps!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-25 09:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-25 00:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will have you know I've blown nobody from any bar ALL YEAR.
I know; it's only January.
Wow...You should probably see a Doctor.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-01-25 08:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
and this is where the Nazi salute is originating from.
and penis bretzen.
na dann, Mahlzeit.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2009-01-25 08:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
NSFW, skeeze! What if my boss saw that picture, you inconsiderate assbasket?
-2DIE
Oh... I'm my boss.
As you were, ma'am.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2009-01-25 03:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you probably loved it
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-25 03:45:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure a post with the title "I ate the penis pretzels" kinda screams NSFW.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2009-01-25 03:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nsfw.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-25 00:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will have you know I've blown nobody from any bar ALL YEAR.
I know; it's only January.
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2009-01-25 00:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this would pose much more of a threat if you didn't blow every dude in the bar by the end of the night, Coley.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-24 22:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot that I also ate a pickled egg.
I am disturbed that it was not more disgusting than it actually was.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-24 17:47:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1) Take a handful of pretzels into the bathroom.
2) Poke them up your twat.
3) Take them back out.
4) Put them back in the bowl.
5) Bon appetit!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-24 16:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
They might as well make the drawing completely naked. Are they trying to make the penis pumper look more sophisticated?
***********************
Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-24 16:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahahahahaha
that picture is fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-24 14:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
r57srnr r6n n 8d6xn 6b r6xn xr67n rx7n s
t78]
reeeeeee
---------------
I'm pretty sure this guy is my alter.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-24 13:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm, I believe there is a certain phrase that is often used in times like these... oh, that's rights - TITS or GTFO!!!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
They might as well make the drawing completely naked. Are they trying to make the penis pumper look more sophisticated?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
r57srnr r6n n 8d6xn 6b r6xn xr67n rx7n s
t78]
reeeeeee
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hhahahah @saccy!
you are both sluts
<3
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-24 12:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this would pose much more of a threat if you didn't blow every dude in the bar by the end of the night, Coley.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-24 11:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
gross. The guys I know still try to rock out the, wet hand on the back of neck, saying 'don't you hate it when you piss on your hands'
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-01-24 11:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2009-01-24 10:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-24 08:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The only way to neutralize the effects is to munch on some penis this morning.
If you're stuck for volunteers, I can most likely be persuaded.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-24 08:01:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah blah blah NSFW whatever