Bath. (615 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.85 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stardamage (View user info) at 2009-01-26 19:22:29 EST
When I was young,
My sister had something to do with a huge bottle of bubble bath.
Got it as a gift. Or maybe gave it.
The head was shaped like a poodle's head.
You could screw the head off and pour out liquid that looked like cough syrup and smelled like bubble gum.
We also had bath crayons.
We'd draw red, blue, green, on the walls and each other's arms and backs,
And wash the lines off in warm water.
There was a Sesame Street boat that you could wind up and it would paddle around the bathtub,
Elmo bobbing crazily at the wheel, an ear-splitting grin etched in his plastic face.
You could even push it all the way to the bottom, near the plughole,
Where Elmo's raincoat wouldn't do him any good,
And he'd steer it right back up to the surface, unerringly.
A good captain.
The bathtub here is too short for me.
My knees and shoulders always poke above the water
Unless I scrunch myself into the tub
Sideways and turn my neck at an angle that hurts if I hold it too long.
Tonight I noticed the pink bottle under the sink that Kate brought for me one day.
Half a cup of Mr. Bubble later,
Two feet of bubbles threatened to dump over the side and all over my books.
I took scoops of bubbles, my hands like shovels,
and made a Viking hat that became a
Gandalf hat when half of it collapsed over my face,
And that led to a fuzzy beard
With a matching moustache
That I shaved off with my fingers
Making my hands into puffy mitts like on a harassed poodle.
I gave myself a collar of bubbles like Marie-Antoinette.
I lifted a leg out of the water and coated it with a bubbly knee-high boot.
I piled snowy froth on my knees that were sticking out to warm them and make them look like twin ski slopes.
I covered my whole face with bubbles and piled them shapelessly on top of my head and they slid over my cheeks and mouth until I couldn't breathe except to cough and sneeze out foam.
The water cooled and it was time to get out.
I turned on the water again to take a shower.
The hot water was all gone.
I yanked the plug and
I stood in the tub and
watched the bubbles swirl down the drain
Except a few stubborn ones that clung to the radio curtain.
I wrapped up in a rough towel and grabbed a washcloth to wipe the last bubbles off my legs.
User Reviews
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-01-28 13:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Two with the left,
Two with the right,
Wasn't it fun in the bath tonight?
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-27 15:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-27 14:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<tapping into latent childhood memories>
"We also had bath crayons.
We'd draw red, blue, green, on the walls and each other's arms and backs,
And wash the lines off in warm water."
Red and blue and yellow. The warmth rising off the water, pushing back the chill of a typical NZ bathroom. Ah. Good times.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-01-27 13:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2009-01-27 11:55:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fun for all the family.
Except that pervert uncle who never put enough bubble bath in to cover you up :(
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-27 11:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
read this last night after margaritas.
thought i liked it then, didn't re-read it this morning, so you win +2.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-27 09:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by audie_murphy (user info) at 2009-01-27 08:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm here to discuss your shortcomings. did you punch brian o'driscoll in the nuts or not?
I say nay, you did not. You promised but got on a big ol' jet airliner. So, I say unto you - ONE day, when you least expect it, a fist from way back...dequestered in memphis, the cliffs of moher or from that special place you keep to yourself and mister funtimes, wil whack your balls into your tastebuds.
don't look 'round, let it be a suprise it'll be fun, and suprising - STARdamage.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-27 07:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is utterley lovely
thank you
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-01-27 07:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
they used to make a spray bath soap with the top of the can shaped like cartoon/ comic-book characters. The soap would come out of their mouths so it looked like Batman was puking shaving cream on you.
good times.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-01-27 07:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2009-01-27 07:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-27 06:51:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This needs more +2's....
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-01-27 04:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to do bubble bath tuesdays. bottle of wine, candles and a movie. It was great.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-27 04:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mincey.
Submitted by HurtMeSoul (user info) at 2009-01-27 02:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice, i like.
- HurtMeSoul
Submitted by Dimenhydrinate (user info) at 2009-01-27 00:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My penis loves you, man.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-26 22:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-01-26 20:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've seen this species, "homo authorious," known for scribbling and daydreaming. Not often fast with the rent.
These noble creatures once flocked the internet, and could be found at nearly every turn in some varying incarnation. These days, however, sightings are a rare treat.
Notice how he strokes his plumage, preening for the audience; offering thanks for words of encouragement.
Be free "author," be free.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2009-01-26 20:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Then i would pin sis against the toilet tank and cornhole her with frenchy the poodle.
sorry.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-01-26 20:39:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2009-01-26 20:38:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good to know that it made you smile, Ducky.
This is the first thing I've written in a long, long time. Probably a year or so. It feels good.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-01-26 20:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-01-26 19:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you. This made me smile.