Cold (414 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.3 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paddles (View user info) at 2009-02-04 21:47:24 EST
It's raining outside and the cold night fogs the windows of the bar. If there was anything to see outside I might be upset, but my attention is focused on a little thing, just got out of university or maybe college, 22 and full of plans. She's got a look in her eye like she's got hope for the world but she's got a body like she's meant to be down here and that's just fine with me. I'm walking up to her and I'm oh so self conscious but none of that matters because she's the catch of the night and I'll either get her or go home alone and that's that. I'm up by her side now and she gives me a curious look with those big blue eyes and just for a second I think maybe I'm not up to the task, but that's crap. I ask what her name is. I don't hear it over the shitty band but that's okay. It wasn't her name I wanted. It was her permission.
Pretty soon we're back outside. I've got my head down and while the rain dances with the pavement I can see where the puddles make the neon run together, an urban rainbow to feast your eyes on. If my eyes were hungry I'd indulge them but they're focused on a little thing, just got out of university or maybe college, 22 and full of plans. We've had too much to drink - my quarry leans in for support and I smell her breath and it's coloured by booze. I offer her my arm and she self-consciously accepts, thinking to avoid embarrassing herself by stumbling. In my eyes, she's already stumbled.
It's raining and she's laughing and the night is young and so are we. The sky's offerings are outlining her face, and she's smiling at me and I think everything will be okay tonight.
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-02-06 03:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
snow
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-05 14:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-02-05 14:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-02-05 12:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2009-02-04 22:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha is this rape rape rape thing a new meme I missed out on? Thanks for the kind words, I felt it was film-noirish as well but went with it just because any writing output is good writing output for me - I'm a musician and I find it really hard to get motivated to write.
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New? No, it's a three or four year old uber meme.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2009-02-05 10:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I kind of liked this.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 09:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Th FPP never describes the night as old and gassy :(
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-02-04 22:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is so WACKY my brain can't handle the WACKINESS
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 22:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if you're a musician, make music. exercise your talents. multi-tasking isn't an accomplishment, it's a disease
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2009-02-04 22:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha is this rape rape rape thing a new meme I missed out on? Thanks for the kind words, I felt it was film-noirish as well but went with it just because any writing output is good writing output for me - I'm a musician and I find it really hard to get motivated to write.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-02-04 22:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the imagery was good, but it read rather like a monologue from a film noir, with a bunch of rape rape rape rape rape
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 22:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Istaros read a lame post.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My rape brings all the rape slaves to the yard
and they're like
rape rape rape rape rape rape rape