Seriously, Valentine's Day. Stop It. (1284 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.57 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (View user info) at 2009-02-06 10:52:02 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2009-02-19 10:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
feati!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2009-02-12 21:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know. The thing sells itself.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2009-02-12 18:41:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-02-09 14:24:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-09 11:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BruceCampbell (user info) at 2009-02-09 10:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey! guys have Steak and Blowjob day a month later now. So now, guys have good reasons to do something special for Valentine Day. A great valentine Day will mean a great steak and blowjob day.
Not that this changes anything for me, I get a blowjob every day and I cook steak whenever I want to (I prefer that she takes care of the dishes).
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2009-02-09 10:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2009-02-09 07:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-02-08 09:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL @ Quint
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-02-07 08:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
w3rd
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-02-07 00:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2009-02-06 23:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-02-06 17:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't mind doing something on valentine's day, but it has to be spontaneous. i wouldn't plan anything ahead.
i know it's a commercial holiday, but you could say the same about all the others. at least the world doesn't stop turning like it does on christmas.
and while i agree you shouldn't need a particular date to demonstrate love, some couples do. especially people who have been married for a long time who wouldn't do anything otherwise so this 'occasion' makes them feel oblige to make an effort. you'll notice many teenagers naively celebrate valentine's day too, which is cool i think.
anyway, i'm not bitter about that holiday. i just don't give a shit and if i happen to have an idea for something on that day, i do it. remember, it's not what you do that makes your gf happy, it's what she'll tell her friends when she brags about it. :)
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-02-06 16:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lol@below
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-06 16:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that gives men an opprtunity to express their love and appreciation to the fantastic women in their lives. While this is something that they should be doing every day, February 14th offers an entire 24 hours to be dedidctaed to the celebration of love. It is not about spa packages, expesnive dinners and high end jewlery. Rather those are simply appropriate symbols of the love men share with women.
Your post, while humorous, was a bit negative and perhaps even misogynistic. I for one would never make a joke about a woman, her promiscuity or even sex in general. In future, pleae have some class when making comments about any of the beautiful and strong creatures that we call women.
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Please tell me you are fucking kidding me.
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No, I am being very honest here. For example, I ALWAYS take Method's Mom out for a nice dinner before fucking the shit out of her. In fact, I'll even spring for a place like Nobu before anal.
Can't say the same for most of the black guys she nails though. They just save her a piece of KFC. After they use it to grease her up.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2009-02-06 16:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-02-06 15:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that shamwow guy freaks me the fuck out. i still kinda want one though.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 15:14:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the sword twice the size of an average human being?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-02-06 14:44:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahha below
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-02-06 14:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot sending a bunch of flowers to her office with, "I LOVE YOU BITCH, DON'T EVER FUCKING QUESTION THAT" on the card. That one always goes over really well, especially with her boss.
And I buy my own Rambo DVDs, Tinactin.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 14:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that gives men an opprtunity to express their love and appreciation to the fantastic women in their lives. While this is something that they should be doing every day, February 14th offers an entire 24 hours to be dedidctaed to the celebration of love. It is not about spa packages, expesnive dinners and high end jewlery. Rather those are simply appropriate symbols of the love men share with women.
Your post, while humorous, was a bit negative and perhaps even misogynistic. I for one would never make a joke about a woman, her promiscuity or even sex in general. In future, pleae have some class when making comments about any of the beautiful and strong creatures that we call women.
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Heh. It's those expesnive dinners that kill me.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-02-06 14:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Buy her a fuck load of aspirin, and then let her try and pull that 'I've got a headache' shit.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2009-02-06 14:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He's dead serious, and absolutely right, you insensitive monster!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that gives men an opprtunity to express their love and appreciation to the fantastic women in their lives. While this is something that they should be doing every day, February 14th offers an entire 24 hours to be dedidctaed to the celebration of love. It is not about spa packages, expesnive dinners and high end jewlery. Rather those are simply appropriate symbols of the love men share with women.
Your post, while humorous, was a bit negative and perhaps even misogynistic. I for one would never make a joke about a woman, her promiscuity or even sex in general. In future, pleae have some class when making comments about any of the beautiful and strong creatures that we call women.
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Please tell me you are fucking kidding me.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that gives men an opprtunity to express their love and appreciation to the fantastic women in their lives. While this is something that they should be doing every day, February 14th offers an entire 24 hours to be dedidctaed to the celebration of love. It is not about spa packages, expesnive dinners and high end jewlery. Rather those are simply appropriate symbols of the love men share with women.
Your post, while humorous, was a bit negative and perhaps even misogynistic. I for one would never make a joke about a woman, her promiscuity or even sex in general. In future, pleae have some class when making comments about any of the beautiful and strong creatures that we call women.
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aaa-haaahahahaaahhahahahahahaaahahaa
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very apropos that you should make a case for the venus fly trap (or any other carnivourous plant).
The venus fly trap is a very fitting analogy to the way many females operate.
Better yet, the not so humble pitcher plant.
The female sets an attractive, sweet smelling trap and awaits the male.
The male, thinking he's found something special, alights on the plant (trap).
SNAP!!!!
The male is then trapped, doomed to live out the rest of his (now shortened) life struggling in a futile attempt to escape while being slowly digested.
Anyone have a rebuttal to this?
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How can anyone argue with ultimate, enlightened truth?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Valentine's Day is a wonderful holiday that gives men an opprtunity to express their love and appreciation to the fantastic women in their lives. While this is something that they should be doing every day, February 14th offers an entire 24 hours to be dedidctaed to the celebration of love. It is not about spa packages, expesnive dinners and high end jewlery. Rather those are simply appropriate symbols of the love men share with women.
Your post, while humorous, was a bit negative and perhaps even misogynistic. I for one would never make a joke about a woman, her promiscuity or even sex in general. In future, pleae have some class when making comments about any of the beautiful and strong creatures that we call women.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just have to give this more points due to its excessive win status.
"Shit bitch you is fine" on that teddy bear was particularly awesome.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-02-06 13:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I owned a Venus Flytrap for about half a year before it kicked it mid-winter due to lack of flies. I named it Vagina Dentata.
I miss him :(
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 plan b
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:51:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:04:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It pains me to say, but this is older than the internets
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But you still dumped the +2, huh? It isn't the quality of the post, it's the poster. Right, Greek?
Hypocritical jewelry hustler.
Donkey, I liked the post. I will still get the old lady candy and another plant, because I want to live. . .
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just had the incredible urge to get a PS3 or Xbox 360.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You want to give a woman a WEAPON for V-Day? Are you suicidal?
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I got MLW a Ruger Mark II Competition .22cal target pistol with scope for Christmas one year. It was very well received.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You want to give a woman a WEAPON for V-Day? Are you suicidal?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Venus Flytraps or the sword would be definite panty droppers in my apartment. Awesome.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the bear.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Couldn't find the funnies :o(
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irony
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the blades would make a freaking awesome gift.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Snap" can be used to denote the precise moment where he is official screwed.
But you're right, they don't snap.
The venus fly traps do.
Still, I think my point was made.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought the pitcher plant didn't snap, but rather had downward facing hairs inside so thing couldn't climb out or something. Mr. Wizard said something about it a long ass time ago and I'm struggling to remember.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! Where are the materia slots on that sword? I'm calling shenanigans.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:04:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It pains me to say, but this is older than the internets
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Couldn't find the funnies :o(
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't act like you're not going to cave to pressure and get Pentameter a Rambo DVD or something.
PR
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-02-06 11:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very apropos that you should make a case for the venus fly trap (or any other carnivourous plant).
The venus fly trap is a very fitting analogy to the way many females operate.
Better yet, the not so humble pitcher plant.
The female sets an attractive, sweet smelling trap and awaits the male.
The male, thinking he's found something special, alights on the plant (trap).
SNAP!!!!
The male is then trapped, doomed to live out the rest of his (now shortened) life struggling in a futile attempt to escape while being slowly digested.
Anyone have a rebuttal to this?