Banj is not looking at the world through Persian pink glasses… Well... maybe not... (maybe bloggish) (515 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.19 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JesterLilt (View user info) at 2009-02-06 20:12:16 EST
... and maybe shouldn't post with a few drinkings in me...
So I've been out tonight and I guess the first morose thoughts I've been thinking is when I was standing in the 24 hr shop looking upon a girl obviously pilling off her face. I said to the woman who served me, "She's having a good night yeah?" To which she nodded. It was blatantly obvious. Eyes gaping, dancing away, the usual, thinking the world is beautiful and everybody in it is wonderful.
And it got me to thinking....
When did I start giving a fuck?
I mean... I really didn't used to give a fuck at all. When did I grow up, become an adult, when the fuck did all this shit start happening and why did I start thinking it was so important...? And most importantly, is it important? Or have I got myself wrapped up in a load of materialistic bollocks which isn't really important, only important because I've been told I should feel that way? When did I start listening to how other people said I should think and feel?
All of a sudden I have a really good job, I have a nice flat, I have bills to pay, I seem to have acquired some pretty nice shit and for some reason I feel like I should hold on to it. I ask myself whether or not I worked particularly hard for it and the answer is no. No... Not in the slightest... I turned up for work in the right job for awhile and everything fell into place. One day I woke up, I landed on my feet and I've just coasted with it from there.
Am I happy?
Who knows... maybe...? I remember times when I felt like happy but did I feel happy at the time? Or is it just now looking back I know I was happy in comparison to now?
I listen to older people and they say the best time of their lives was in their 30s. They say that because they'd learnt to accept themselves, feel comfortable in their own skin. I say I'd love to feel 19 again. I loved everybody, I got fucked all the time and it didn't matter because I was 'going through a phase' or 'I was still young' or 'I just didn't know what I wanted to do yet'.
Blah blah blah...
Now I'm looking out for everybody else. I look out for my parents and I don't mind that too much because they looked out for me for 18 years. I look out for my boyfriend; I look out for me and most of all I look out for the future.
The fucking future...
I wanted to be an astronaut, get abducted by aliens, find the ring to rule all rings, ride a Pegasus horse, find a four leaf clover, find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, be blessed with immortal life, move objects with my mind, discover telekinesis, fall in love with Mr. Dark and Mysterious, be the heroine, live the fantasy... Now I feel it's one of life's biggest tragedies that we be blessed with so much imagination with no hope of it ever being reality in our lifetime. Even when fantasy enters the realms of reality, it's infested with reason, theory, meaning and a scientific explanation. Don't get me wrong, I love sci-fi and proper science but still, it doesn't make up for the wizard, the sorcerer and the rogue.
Will it ever happen and is it possible? Or am I clinging on to the last remnants of my childhood, perhaps still unwilling to become a proper adult? And maybe that's why I'll happily disappear for days on end finishing a series of books, locking myself away from reality whilst I gallop through fantasy. Perhaps that's why I'm home now having left a party full of people speaking small talk, wall paper, babies and exchange rates.
Maybe I'll never feel at home in that world... and to be honest... who would want to? Is it normal to live a life only caring about immediate surroundings and not giving a thought to the bigger picture and the world we live in? Am I right to feel strongly about the rest of it? Am I a geek, a nerd, weird for having an opinion, for hoping for something more than the cards that have been dealt? Probably... but in all honesty, I would die of utter boredom if I didn't give it at least some consideration.
User Reviews
Submitted by madisonlouis (user info) at 2009-03-18 11:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by scary_sammy (user info) at 2009-03-13 09:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-10 14:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on, sister.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-09 12:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you still haven't emailed me your boobs.
wtf?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-02-08 08:16:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
really enjoyed this.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 21:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to fill my flat with playpen balls! Either that or run outside and throw snowballs.
I enjoy pondering and daydreaming... Right now I'm pondering into the wild, chucking on a backpack and fecking off somewhere for a few months...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-02-07 20:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.xkcd.com/150/
Do you have any idea how AWESOME it is to live in the 21st Century?
FUCK!
Computers, flush toilets, real doctors with SCIENCE in their resumes, it's BRILLIANT! Hell, you can pick a spot on the globe, tell your boss you're fucking off for a week or two, and go recreate Indiana Jones in the jungle anytime you want! You can take a cruise around an iceberg, or ride a camel in the desert!
This place is awesome!
Don't get caught up in that "what does it all mean" horseshit, DECIDE what it means. Live how you like, dance all night, have a drink, do whatever you want, bitch!
And there's nothing wrong with having nice things. They are luxuries to be enjoyed, rewards for going to work everyday when you could be lying on a beach in the Mediterranean instead.
By the way, all of this bloggish nonsense should have been done with your internal monologue.
:D
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 17:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See 17 2 below.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-07 16:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-07 16:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't read this. Anyone want to give me a 17 word or less synopsis?
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Banj wonders if her imagination is realistic. She knows she has goodies, and she deserves them.
16 words. OK witchoo, butthead?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 16:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please refrain from dropping a review here unless you've read it or you're pushing unicorn poo. Capiche?
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-07 16:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't read this. Anyone want to give me a 17 word or less synopsis?
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IT'S ALL MINE I TELL YOU!!!
I KNEW YOU WERE ONLY TALKING TO ME FOR MY UNICORN POO!
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Curses! Foiled again!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IT'S ALL MINE I TELL YOU!!!
I KNEW YOU WERE ONLY TALKING TO ME FOR MY UNICORN POO!
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard that stuff is mostly sickly sweet and contains a mild psychotropic drug making the person who eats it have super hero delusions...
Better stop eating my unicorn poo...
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Got any unicolts for sale?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard that stuff is mostly sickly sweet and contains a mild psychotropic drug making the person who eats it have super hero delusions...
Better stop eating my unicorn poo...
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was thinking more of ambrosia as in 'the food of the gods'.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As in ambrosia devon custard? I think your unicorn needs something to stiffen his/her poo, it should be firm on the outside and squidgy in the middle, like ferroro roche.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-07 14:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Flying would be pretty outstanding as well.
I wouldn't want to deal with Unicorn poop... horseshit is pretty awful stuff after all.
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Unicorn poop smells like ambrosia. They are magical, after all.
OK, serious review:
Banjo, your fantasies are probably pretty similar to most. Not wanting to give them up seems natural to me, and the one who gives up imagination and is dead serious about everything may as well hang it up. Acquiring material possessions is not a bad thing until they mean more to you than being a good person. You worked for your stuff, regardless of how hard that work was. Some jobs require more than others, but that doesn't mean you didn't earn the money.
Keep questioning yourself and never lose that imagination.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:07:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lucrative poop...
Thanks rob, just the imagery I was after.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-07 15:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True, the black market for magical poop must be very lucrative.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 14:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha! Your knowledge of unicorns is limited my friend.
Do you have any idea how much unicorn poop is worth to Chinese witch doctors?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-07 14:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Flying would be pretty outstanding as well.
I wouldn't want to deal with Unicorn poop... horseshit is pretty awful stuff after all.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 14:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why thank you Rob. I wrote this pretty drunk last night, woke up today hungover thinking oh fuck... I've gone and posted something pissed again.
Telekinesis would be cool. I'm going to be able to fly and have a pet unicorn.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-07 14:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm guilty of not giving this a proper read.
You are not sad at all - in fact, I'd say you got shit figured out pretty fucking well.
(Except your horrid environmental views, of course.)
I'm STILL convinced I'll discover telekinesis.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-02-07 14:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fan fucking tastic
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-02-07 13:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bubba is a tool.
i often feel like this.
good post.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 07:19:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck off bill and come back when you're not an ignorant retard.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-02-06 23:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well said
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 21:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-06 21:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You seem to have caught a nasty case of drunken boring hillbilly.
There is no cure, it mutates from one alter to the next.
It's kinda like herpes. Sorry.
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Rob, just STFU. You are a fool, and all your friends are fools. Just go away, butthead.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-06 21:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As for the whole being sad thing... cheer up, eh.
Sorry, that's the best I got.
Perhaps you just need to drink and hump more?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-06 21:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You seem to have caught a nasty case of drunken boring hillbilly.
There is no cure, it mutates from one alter to the next.
It's kinda like herpes. Sorry.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 21:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-06 20:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I guess you have no concept of the term 'get fucked'
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Oh, I get the concept. You now pretend that it was not sexual, but the way you originally presented it was different. Fine, just continue with your idiotic pretentions and hope for +2s. Dumbass.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-02-06 20:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think proper adults exist.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-06 20:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I guess you have no concept of the term 'get fucked'
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 20:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I say I'd love to feel 19 again. I loved everybody, I got fucked all the time and it didn't matter because I was 'going through a phase' or 'I was still young' or 'I just didn't know what I wanted to do yet'.
=================
That solidifies your concept of life. Getting fucked when you are horny justifies everything.
Bull fucking shit.
:-/
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-06 20:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And a link http://www.ubersite.com/m/121021