Pussy and Wine (3158 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.55 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2009-02-20 17:31:46 EST
She walks in that hypnotically sensual way that has given your mother nightmares since the day you were born; the way that makes a man ache in places he thought the world had killed. The sway of her hips is slow enough to be hypnotic and just fast enough to be impatient, as if the desire between her legs is a starved beast that's biding its time because it knows the chain around its neck is rusted and weak and not really holding it in place.
Her eyes are wet. Her cheeks are flushed and a thin line of blood so bright that it looks like makeup runs from the corner of her lip where she's bit it in anticipation, and she's sweeping the room with those moist green spotlights. She's looking for someone to feed her impossible hunger and every man in the room loosens his grip on his soul a little, and then she inhales deeply and they loosen it a little more. Her fading control radiates from the light in her eyes and the sweat between her breasts. It fills the room with the promise of the smell of pussy and wine.
Her eyes lock with a man sitting alone in the corner and just like that he's lost. His drink glows green in the treacherous club lighting. The glass holding it is tilted; the brim rests tentatively on his bottom lip and the liquid within dribbles out. It drips onto his chin and his expensive white shirt, turning both of them the color of nuclear coolant or alien blood. A woman with fake lips and a dress as big as a napkin sits beside him. Dismay and resignation fight for control of her face. She's no match for the vision of sex and want gliding towards her man. She never was. She knows it genetically. The star stuff running through her tells her that no matter how much she goes under the knife, or how much she sucks his cock, the man who shares her life will never belong to her as completely as he belongs to the woman in the red dress, in this moment, at this time.
The woman gets to the table, leans forward so her face is between their heads and then whispers something lost to the one hundred envious eyes drinking the scene in. Her words turn their faces slack and their eyes dead, and you lean towards them to catch even the slightest hint of her voice but all your ears pick up is the DJ's heartbeat, and then she's done and standing straight, and the couple before her are looking at each other with hopeless eyes while their anima flows uselessly to the alcohol stained carpet below.
You should leave. The chance of her gaze falling on you is slim-to-none but you should go just in case. All the little bits of God left in you are telling you so, and they never lie but you just aren't that strong, and when she turns and locks eyes with you, you can feel the part of you that holds everything together tremble. You can feel her need as if it were your own and it burns in your mind, and your heart and sears its way up the shaft of your dick like the hot mouth of the whore of forever.
She's a disease. She's fallen grace wrapped in silk and ink. She's the reason men kill each other and the tide that drowned ancient Greece, and she's standing above your table and leaning forward to spill her wanton poison into your hungry ear. Some part of your mind consoles reason; tells it not to fight this, tells it that this is a lucky death, and then her words are in you and everything changes for the worse, and when she stands up and walks away she takes the color of the world with her.
User Reviews
Submitted by sneej (user info) at 2009-09-28 15:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You can feel her need as if it were your own and it burns in your mind, and your heart and sears its way up the shaft of your dick like the hot mouth of the whore of forever."
Damn.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2009-05-12 22:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sunshine, lollipops, and...
What's this I hear about Vancouver?
Drop me a line Snark my love - we should get pished and totally make out.
Scourge, I wouldn't mind if you watched...
Sacrilicious, if you're anything as hot as I imagine you to be, well- http://www.ubersite.com/m/92966
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-03-19 20:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-03-09 17:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2450 hits? You're a bastard.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-03-09 16:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bits of this are brilliant, but dammit I want the time I spent reading these reviews back please.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2009-03-04 17:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry for the late review but I'm busy trying to keep a job in Ontario. Nobody here even thinks about sex let alone have it. Anyway, thanks for reminding me of another time. Great work, full marks, I liked it!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2009-02-27 10:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hypnotic
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-24 18:10:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, its really not. Don't worry - we all know you're too stupid to know why.
In other news, I just farted.
Which, come to think of it, was more entertaining than the entire time I spent talking at you, Simon.
Smells like Iachini.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-24 17:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Try again. That didn't suffice. Also, I'm extremely better than you is just fine.
End day.
Try a diet, while Berging your brains out.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-24 17:13:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are 'extremely better'?
haha
It's too bad you can't appreciate just how horrible your grasp of the English language is, Simon.
I suppose it only stands to reason that your reading comprehension matches your atrocious literacy - but I have refered to the process as "Taking a Berg" - the end product is now known as a little brown iachini.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-24 16:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I only store one at a time and this one is a beaut, I'm sure you'll agree.
And to say that I'm synonymous with shit when you admit to referring to your stools as taking a berg is a bit ironic, no? No big deal, though I can see that it is extremely important for you to posture when in reality we both know that I'm extremely better than you in everything. Even my Daewoo is better than your BMW.
I had some Berg on a Shingle the other day and it was fantastic.
Holy Berg! This Berg has gone on too long! Eat Berg.
-------
Craft a witty reply over the next 2 hours, okay?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-24 15:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, no, no.
It's simple, Simon.
When I am talking at you - I think of shit.
You are now synonymous with shit... and you are obviously obsessed with it. Storing up pictures of your own feces now? I mean it's one thing to spontaneously share your work with the group, however pathetic and lame, but to now collect snapshots of your turds?
Yikes.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-02-24 15:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"between her legs is a starved beast"
i'm sorry i had to stifle a huge laugh at that line. loved the last line though.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-24 14:45:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see you've been dragged to the dredges and now poop is constantly on your mind. I took a picture of one the other day and I'm debating on posting it. Got any clever ways in which to hide the inevitable poop in a sico post?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-24 13:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, its ME looking for attention from you, Simon.
That's like really looking forward to struggling with that last fortified turd that just won't cleanly wipe - no matter how many times you swipe at it.
Go away.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-24 13:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hi ROB! I notice you, ROB! Do you think you can stop waving your panties in a vain attempt to get my attention now?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-24 12:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Taking a dump is called a Berg... I've used the term myself. My poops are heroic and mighty.
The resulting waste, however, that greasy pile of shit that hurriedly gets flushed:
That's a Simon.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-24 12:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not called a ghost shit either, two piles of useless below. It's called a ghost berg.
Submitted by Blackberry (user info) at 2009-02-24 12:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not a ghost shit you giant pile of useless, a ghost shit is when you take a dump and look down into the toilet and there's nothing there because it slid down the drain itself
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-02-24 10:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berg thats called a Ghost shit, they are a rare and wonderful thing.
The post ruled, made me want to go to a fucking club and pick up some strange.
but alas, I be a married man, fuckin a this ball and chain is heavier than they said...
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-23 21:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OFF.
FUCKING DOUBLE F.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-23 21:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I took a magnificent dump today - it slid out pure and swift and snapped of clean - requiring only a courtesy wipe. As I looked down at the rather large pile of shit - I again thought of you, Simon.
What a legacy.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-23 15:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A better title would have been "Rob Berg and Wine."
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2009-02-23 14:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-02-23 05:03:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2009-02-21 08:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it but i must say no woman in her right mind would stand for some chick leaning over the table between her and her man to whisper sweet whore things in his ear. most women would grab a bitch by the hair and slam her face into the table because that's just rude and goes against the womanly code
----------------
Julie is so awesome. She is actually straight out of Compton.
No joke, if you do that to her she would "cut yo' face up, 'ho, like a mother-fucking jigsaw".
Also if I was in a nightclub and saw a chick biting her lip so hard that blood was running down her face then that would freak me out, it wouldn't matter how hot she is.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-02-22 23:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2009-02-21 08:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it but i must say no woman in her right mind would stand for some chick leaning over the table between her and her man to whisper sweet whore things in his ear. most women would grab a bitch by the hair and slam her face into the table because that's just rude and goes against the womanly code
**************
Made me LOL, above, because I know that I would definitely THINK about doing EXACTLY that although I'd never have the balls to actually do it. I'm feisty but I'm not a fighter.
Good writing, Snark.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-02-22 15:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate the word 'pussy' most guys can't actually get away with saying it.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-02-22 15:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-22 15:10:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-22 15:07:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-22 15:04:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2009-02-21 08:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it but i must say no woman in her right mind would stand for some chick leaning over the table between her and her man to whisper sweet whore things in his ear. most women would grab a bitch by the hair and slam her face into the table because that's just rude and goes against the womanly code
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-02-21 08:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderfully poetic.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-21 00:20:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think yournamehere might be hotwillie. maybe not.
if so, i love that guy.
if not, i could potentially grow to love that guy.
snark.
i might make it to vancouver this year.
pleasure trip, not business.
where are drinks going to be poured down throats if it happens?
---
That would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure you are right about yournamehere.
I'd chip in for Lishy's fare.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-20 23:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cause you make me smile.
i'm not reading this though
so sorry.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-20 23:19:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-20 22:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 21:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lishy,
If I weren't going to Eastern Europe in a few months I would totally consider paying your way to Vangroovy. No word of a lie.
===
You are made of awesome. I hope you enjoy your trip..I've heard EE is an interesting place.
I don't know if I could ever accept such a big gift, but I'd work my ass off to make it happen.
Now I just need a job to work at and I'll get started..
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 21:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scourge,
If and when you make it here I will personally see to it that we both get slobberingly drunk.
Lishy,
If I weren't going to Eastern Europe in a few months I would totally consider paying your way to Vangroovy. No word of a lie.
Yournamehere,
The entertainment value is high regardless of your intentions. Carry on.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-20 21:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. Very Bukowski-esque.
In fact, it makes me want to drink a couple bottles of cheap wine and head down to the Cecil (because you need be hammered for the girls there to look good).
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 19:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 19:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Thanks bud!
-----
I'm serious. That was hilarious.
You seem to want sooooo bad to piss me off.
You're tooooo kind.
I actually hadn't considered your feelings.
I was just having a little fun with your most hilarious source material.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh wait, Shitfuck and his woman aren't in BC are they. STILL THOUGH
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
snark.
i might make it to vancouver this year.
pleasure trip, not business.
where are drinks going to be poured down throats if it happens?
===
...
Rob, Snark, Shitfuck, and charminglybeef all in the same city with Scourge.
*asplode*
PLEASE INVITE ME AND PAY MY WAY PLEASE PLEASE
If so, I'll totally make it worth Snark's while.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and title alone put me in heaven.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-20 20:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think yournamehere might be hotwillie. maybe not.
if so, i love that guy.
if not, i could potentially grow to love that guy.
snark.
i might make it to vancouver this year.
pleasure trip, not business.
where are drinks going to be poured down throats if it happens?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 19:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 19:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Thanks bud!
-----
I'm serious. That was hilarious.
You seem to want sooooo bad to piss me off.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 19:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Thanks bud!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaha
That's awesome.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Pussy with Whine
She walks in that hypnotically hypnotic way that curdles your sister's milk on your lips and makes every man a farmer with two acres. The hypnotic sway of her hypnotic hips is hynotically slow like a hypnotist who's biding his time between the midnight and 2AM show and who's really tired and who really knows it and who really cares?
Her eyes are wet like her pussy. Her cheeks are flushed like her colon.
A thin line of blood so bright she looks like Heath Ledger runs from the corner of her lip to the corner of her other lip, and her mouth sweeps the room like a custodian with no dick. She's looking for someone to feed her and every man in the room smells her shit and it doesn't seem to stink.
Her eyes lock like a lock with no key unless you pay a locksmith to come out and make one but who wants to do that because they're so expensive nowadays. Besides, what's needed here is no locksmith, just a wordsmith, or at least a medium priced thesaurus of some sort. Let's get right to the cock-sucking, shall we? Oh, wait. That's for the reviews.
Never mind.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good title
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NO. NO. NO. NO.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's uber-lytton time again?
------------
If it were this post would be about a chunky peanut butter monster ravaging the planet.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're more than welcome.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's uber-lytton time again?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HURRAY FOR ORIGINAL CONTENT!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well answered Snark.
Feckin eejit
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:24:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'll bet you do, you sensuous wordsmith, you.
How can I describe this piece.
I think....brutal beauty.
What do you think of that?
---------------
That's very kind of you. Thank you.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'll bet you do, you sensuous wordsmith, you.
How can I describe this piece.
I think....brutal beauty.
What do you think of that?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
So which pedestrian feeling won control of Joan Rivers' face? Does it matter?
Was her napkin dress sanitary? Does it matter?
Does she wear toilet paper panties? Yes
Is it for the sake of convenience? Yes
Who is the whore of forever? Methods Mom if you ask Quint
Do prostitutes expire? Depends if they are irradiated or not.
Was she an attention whore? Depends on what standards you use.
Do you have her number? 111-328-7448
Would you please find a synonym of hypnotize for your first paragraph? No but feel to rewrite it and post it how you see fit.
Anything else? I have time to answer more.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
So which pedestrian feeling won control of Joan Rivers' face?
Was her napkin dress sanitary?
Does she wear toilet paper panties?
Is it for the sake of convenience?
Who is the whore of forever?
Do prostitutes expire?
Was she an attention whore?
Do you have her number?
Would you please find a synonym of hypnotize for your first paragraph?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-02-20 18:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-02-20 17:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Each time, we hear another call
I want it less. You want it more.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-02-20 17:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Title, I refuse to read as I'll probably just be disappointed.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-02-20 17:33:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment