Bathroom Shenanigans (1006 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.66 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by max lieberman (View user info) at 2009-02-21 07:38:15 EST
So I've really got to take a dump. It's 5AM and I'm in the Airport in Dubai. My stomach still hasn't caught up with me since the Valentines Day Philippines Gastro-intestinal massacre so the bathroom is VERY important. I've been waiting in line for about 10 minutes. The attendant is constantly using a squeegee over the wet floor that has 6 urinals on one side and three stalls on the other.
Finally, a stall opens up and I have to fight off others that seem to be as desperate as I am to get in. A number of employees of my own company are also in line so I'm feeling uncomfortable in an even more special way.
The stall is pretty big and I notice it's just a hole in the ground and not a Western style toilet right away. Just great... I haven't tried to use one of these since I was a pre-teen in Japan. The floor is sopping wet as well and it's a special kind of yellow. I hang my HP backpack on the hook next to the door and approach the hole in the ground.
There is no way; Just no way... I can't do anything without getting human waste(not even my own) on my pants. The safest bet is to take off the pants so I'm standing on my shoes, naked from the waste down, trying to do some business at a dead squat, when there is a tremendous "CRACK!"
The hook breaks and dumps my pants and Computer bag on the urine soaked floor. I'm only half through so I can't do much but try and keep squatting and hold my computer bag off the floor and now soaked pants.
So, the door suddenly opens all the way just as I'm releasing another blob, and there is the attendant with his "key" and everyone in line looking in at me.
Not sure what was worse: the sink washed pants on the 2 hour ride to Baghdad or the urinal smelling computer bag.
Sorry, no happy ending except there was no toilet paper, just a hose as is the Arabian way. Just the cool feeling of people you know staring at you naked and embarrassed.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-02-23 04:45:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, why wouldn't you just shit on the plane? Madness.
Submitted by TLawrence (user info) at 2009-02-22 16:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-02-22 13:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-21 16:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*year
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-21 16:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You have the writing skills of a ten tear-old.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-02-21 12:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2009-02-21 12:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It could be worse... You could have some friends to lose.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2009-02-21 12:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It could be worse... You could have some friends to lose.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-02-21 08:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I can smell twiglets... But I am not eating twiglets...
Dun dun duuun
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-02-21 07:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just meant to leave that comment once there. Sorry about that.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-02-21 07:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Y halo thar sicosemen wannabe.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-02-21 07:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Y halo thar sicosemen wannabe.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-02-21 07:41:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Y halo thar sicosemen wannabe.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-02-21 07:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
learn waste/ waist