Genetic Defects, pt. 2 - The Procedure (526 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SmalltownSally (View user info) at 2009-03-16 11:57:47 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121432 The Beginning
"Did you drink alcohol while pregnant?" No. I'm not much of a drinker.
"Drugs? Were there drugs?" There was pot before I knew I was pregnant. Kind of... yeah... kind of a lot of pot.
Were you on antidepressants? Lithium?" I laughed. I have issues, but nothing that needs medication. Nothing that isn't considered normal these days.
"Live near power lines? Work with industrial grade chemical solvents?" 5 miles down the freeway from an electrical plant. Which is right next door to the hospital, might I add, so how dangerous is it really? No industrial solvents.
Nobody really knows how this happened to my daughter. There are no real known causes of this disease, just suspects. Didn't matter... by hook or by crook, I'd done this to her. My body had failed her on the most basic level. I had, quite literally, broken her heart. And now it was my job to make sure I didn't fail her again.
Emma was born at 1:34am on a Sunday. On Tuesday, I had to check out of the hospital. I didn't have insurance, and they were going to transfer her to the Children's Hospital across town on Thursday. It was brand new, state of the art, all the best medical talent. Her only chance. Thanks to an uninsured motorist making an illegal left-hand turn the wrong way down a one-way street back in July, I didn't have a car, so I walked 4 miles each way to visit her every day before they moved her.
Part of her defect involved a sealed pulmonary artery. The valve stays sealed while the baby is in utero, but opens with the first breath to supply blood flow to the lungs. The first step in her treatment would be a cath lab, sort of like an angioplasty, to try and open the artery.
I had texted her father when my water broke, and told him which hospital I was being taken to, but he never turned up. Not surprising, considering. He was only 23, we hadn't dated long, I got pregnant thanks to ineffectual birth control. My default, my responsibility. I'd told him he was off the hook.
The day she was born, he was the only one who knew.
When I got home late Tuesday night, I booted up my computer, opened my email, and explained things to the mother that I'd hardly spoken to in 5 years. I asked her not to judge me, to come to the children's hospital Thursday morning for Emma's procedure. I couldn't face the waiting room alone.
Half an hour later, I had my response. She would be there, with my father, and we'd figure it all out. But not without questions. The question I didn't really have an answer for.
"Why didn't you tell us? Why did you do this alone?" Because she was an accident. Because I don't trust you. Because you had just lost your mother when I found out, and I know how weak you are. Because I didn't really want her until I found out she needed to be fixed. Because you're infantile and selfish, and your weakness scares me. Because you're not the paragon of virtue you'd like people to think you are. Because you're not much of a mother. Because I sort of hate you.
"I just... didn't. "
Tears are inevitable at a time like this, I suppose. I didn't break down. I couldn't... if I lost it once, I might never get it back together again. I let everyone around me break down. I let them cling to me with tears rolling down their cheeks. Let them pledge their support and love. I let them pray. I said my thank yous, hoping that by the time I came out of the cocoon of numbness, I would be able to genuinely appreciate what they were trying to do to help. Everything was in slow motion for me. I was walking through water, with it well over my head while everything else rushed past on a strong current. We sat. We waited.
"The procedure went as planned. Her valve had the appropriate perforations, he heart just wasn't strong enough to push it open. We should have her off the ventilator in about a week, home with you in two"
Plans were made. I'd move out of the room I was renting from a retired marine/highschool math teacher and come home with Mom and Dad. Emma wasn't going to be a viable candidate for daycare for quite some time, so I'd stay home with her until she was.
Phone call. 4am. "We need consent for blood products. We need you at the NICU. Right. Now."
User Reviews
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-03-21 15:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-03-16 23:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Thanks to an uninsured motorist making an illegal left-hand turn the wrong way down a one-way street back in July, I didn't have a car..."
Thanks to an uninsured single woman with no apparent means of support accidentally getting knocked up and then giving birth to a baby with a heart defect, we the taxpayers will pick up the bill.
Next we'll have Nadya Suleman, the unmarried nutbag who had octuplets, telling her heartwarming story, too.
But hey: have two points for at least being a fellow pothead.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-03-16 13:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The heart problem is her only defect? If so, she should do well.
You seem to have the support of your family and this will help a lot.
Please let go of the guilt. This is not your fault.
She is a beautiful baby.
HUGZ to you both.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-16 13:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with chef! hahaha all I can think of is that chocolate salty balls song from south park.
member equation enclosed...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112423
Submitted by Master_Chef (user info) at 2009-03-16 13:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is true, i wish you and emma all the luck in the world.
My son was born relativly healthy, so i cant say i know what your going through, but as a parent i really hope this all works out. You wont get any concern from most of the people on here, here ive learned that;
Internet connection + anonymity + 12 year old minset = Twat
More importantly though, good luck
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thoughts and prayers to you.
hmmm
my shenanagens detector went off for a half-second.
i'm just saying.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, I'm really unaffected by this story only by the pretense that the author is a cunt: http://www.ubersite.com/m/121432#2870534 j/k. I don't know if you are a cunt or not.
If this is a true story then you are coming to wrong place for empathy or sympathy. I don't know what the problem is but normally this would get torn apart quickly here, without the worry of hurting your feelings.
This is the beginnings of story that should have ended with abortion and I'm not saying that to be mean. It sounds like you and the father are extremely ill-prepared to be parents let alone the outlier that the kid is a medical time bomb.
Also, I never skip to the last page of the novel :) I always read the back cover before I purchase a novel and read straight through.
I guess the best I can offer is if this is a true account of something you are dealing with, good luck.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy shit man...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-03-16 12:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment