Reflections upon turning thirty: an introspective (1370 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.53 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe (View user info) at 2009-03-24 05:55:22 EDT
So, uh... that sexual peak should be kicking in any minute now, right?
Lock up your shy, socially-awkward sons.
Snark, I'm coming for you.
User Reviews
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-03-30 03:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How's 30 a cougar? You need gear to scale that peak, drunken fratboys are toys, not tools. What you need is a dynamic Sir Edmund Hillary type to stick it where it ain't been stuck and a gentle, persistent Sherpa guide for your little man in the boat...overboard!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-03-29 22:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll send you keys to my place if that'll help anything.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-03-27 18:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-03-27 05:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wish there was something I could do to help...
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2009-03-27 02:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i thought you were an aussie?
*confused*
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-03-25 22:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ur cenadion?
Who is you?
Youuu?
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-03-25 17:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Reflections on turning 30? Lay that massive wisdom on me.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-03-25 15:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know someone who would be perfect for you, but the catch is he kind of enjoys his strangling.
Would that be okay?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-03-25 15:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method's Mom is kind of a cougar. The kind that fucks lots of black guys.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-03-25 15:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks now I find out that I am to dam old to be a cougar, Really all the men MY age are old.That really is the hardest thing about getting old, when you see a guy your own age you relise that you also look that bad.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-03-25 13:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-03-25 11:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 30 on Saturday. I'm making it cool.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2009-03-25 06:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles, honey, I'm not spurning you.. in fact, now that I'm thirty, sucking the flesh right off your skinny little bones sounds like an enticing proposition.
Get the box of wine. I'll bring the coconut rum. We'll party.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-03-24 23:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flirty thirty..
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2009-03-24 22:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it true that cougars taste like chicken?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-24 22:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodie, the word is "spurn," you stupid fucker. Jesus.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-03-24 21:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe why do you spur my advances?
I would lavish many fine gifts and trinkets on you.
In fact, just today I saw a box of wine at the grocery store and thought of you.
AN ENTIRE BOX
JUST FOR YOU
You can't deny that kind of love.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-24 19:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bickerstaff sighting? WTF?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-03-24 17:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-03-24 18:59:17 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never freaked out when I hit 30. I didn't believe it. I freaked out when I hit 31.
----
and when you turned 50? how was that?
---
Saucer of milk for the hobbit.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-24 17:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooops:
I meant this bar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYzo1NebtDk
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-03-24 16:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ottawa senators?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-03-24 15:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber legend 'Circe' hankers down and squeezes out one stinker of shitpost that is deliriously lapped up by the bored and nostalgic uber masses.
Awesome.
Who am I to argue with that kind of celebrit-e?
You go gurl. Happy Birthday, eh.
ps - snark is dreamy.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-03-24 15:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
meh
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-24 15:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-03-24 14:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never freaked out when I hit 30. I didn't believe it. I freaked out when I hit 31.
----
and when you turned 50? how was that?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-24 14:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to troll.
I was going to say I like to troll retirement homes for dates but I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I'm just going to leave it right there.
I like to troll.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 14:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sidivan (user info) at 2009-03-24 17:57:07 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I was 19, I was seeing a 28yr old. Oh my was that incredible.
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When I as 19, I was seeing a 31 year old. She use to come into the off licence i was working in and get some blue nun. Thats one hell of a euphemism.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-03-24 14:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always wanted a cougar.......
Submitted by Sidivan (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 06:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its a tad unfortunate that women hit there sexual peak in their early thirties and us men in our late teens.
basically you're a horny old boot now
I want to be a horny old boot, id just rather watch football
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When I was 19, I was seeing a 28yr old. Oh my was that incredible.
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-03-24 12:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll do you if I have to.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-03-24 12:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-03-24 12:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 12:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:42:07 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it stalking if I'm waiting at the airport nude? (and probably in custody)
====
That's hot!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-24 11:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it stalking if I'm waiting at the airport nude? (and probably in custody)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-24 11:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday!
You can find me at this bar on Ottawa on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that doesn't really refute my guess. he could be a 15 year old boy.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
15 year old boys?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have remarkably similar taste in stalking victims.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought you lived in oz. happy birthday anyway! i thought you were already over 30 :(
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
circe, i am about to extricate myself from satan's clutches at last and will be occupying a lovely by lonely house by the sea for six months. hop on a plane asap and prepare to provide some succour.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 10:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well if your moist as a MAN E.I. that could be a sign of a more serious condition.
I suggest you call NHS and brew some coffee, it could take them weeks to get there.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sico - yes it is.
Jeannneee - I know! but I'll be stalking Snark, and HE is in Canada.
Scourge - you never reciprocated my love. It hurt. :(
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im quite moist SGT
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stress makes vaginas dry? THATS THE REASON!!!! ***runs off to speak to girlfriend**
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOUR VAGINA IS DRY
=====================
oh shit...
I was gonna try and think um some "un-dry vagina" comment to combat this, but theres no way to do that without sounding internet creepy.
I mean come on, how often can you use "moist" and sound normal.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MY VAGINA ISN'T DRY!
Well, most of the time it isn't. Hey, I get stressed out too.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOUR VAGINA IS DRY
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SNARK?!
But what about this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/120499#2839211
Hmmmm?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, so?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:35:28 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:20:08 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:04:52 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
A beautiful flower such as yourself would never have to worry about this, Forensic.
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You obviosuly havent seen her flower.
====
Just what are you insinuating?!
=================
he wouldnt know what a "flower" looks like anyways FG. He's obsessed with monkeys.
---------------
Im not obsessed with monkeys!
FG, lets be honest, once the flower was in full bloom, now, well, its just wilting a tad
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I turn 29 this year.
*wrings hands and shakes head*
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:20:08 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:04:52 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
A beautiful flower such as yourself would never have to worry about this, Forensic.
--------------
You obviosuly havent seen her flower.
====
Just what are you insinuating?!
=================
he wouldnt know what a "flower" looks like anyways FG. He's obsessed with monkeys.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:20:08 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:04:52 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
A beautiful flower such as yourself would never have to worry about this, Forensic.
--------------
You obviosuly havent seen her flower.
====
Just what are you insinuating?!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're lovely.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*rolls eyes*
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 13:04:52 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
A beautiful flower such as yourself would never have to worry about this, Forensic.
--------------
You obviosuly havent seen her flower.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU AREN'T CANADIAN
Happy birthday
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never freaked out when I hit 30. I didn't believe it. I freaked out when I hit 31.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A beautiful flower such as yourself would never have to worry about this, Forensic.
;)
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 09:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF is "ham stink," Planet?
============================
Forensic, "Ham stink" is when a young lady (or older cougar) eats alot of ham, bacon or hot dogs, goes to the club, and proceeds to sweat out the smelly smell of pork products. Thereby giving them a "ham" kind of smell. Don't ask why I know this...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF is "ham stink," Planet?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cougar......heh.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are the same age as my Partner, I am thinking of trading him in. Too bad I'm not a lesbian because I would be getting some right now.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamn I'm not even thirty yet...
I RULE!!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cheer up, at thirty to me you're still a kid.
we could engage in some creepy old guy lap-sitting if it'll make you feel better.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta get up to canada more often...
I heard theres an epidemic of "ham stink" on alot of girls up there though.
Ugh, why does THAT turn me on...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit post.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hit my sexual peak 19 years ago, and it's still going.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILK
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2009-03-24 08:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forensic, he's fine. I was trying to steal his wife just a few short weeks ago, but she could taste the rohypnol in her Campari. :(
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 07:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there their there their
24eijf2ehjifih2epfhpi214hj423fhf3
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-03-24 07:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MLW is 7 years younger than I. She hit her stride at about 33, when I was 40. That right there, gentlemen, is the cure to ANY midlife crisis you may be considering having. Word from an old guy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-03-24 07:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EI's misuse of there/their is cruel. Let's stick sharp things in him until he desists.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-03-24 07:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, I'm pretty sure I've hit mine as well, as it's all I think about. We are the same age, you see.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-24 07:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were hunting Coyote. Whatever happened to him?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-24 06:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 06:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, i didnt mean to comment twice
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 06:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its a tad unfortunate that women hit there sexual peak in their early thirties and us men in our late teens.
basically you're a horny old boot now
I want to be a horny old boot, id just rather watch football
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-24 06:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its a tad unfortunate that women hit there sexual peak in their early thirties and us men in our late teens.
basically you're a horny old boot now
I want to be a horny old boot, id just rather watch football