So Long And Thanks For All The Gay... (Ever so slightly NSFW) (2127 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.16 on 125 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orphelia (View user info) at 2009-03-26 05:24:48 EDT
Some of you may not be aware that tomorrow is FJ Bell's last day.
I hear some of you shout 'HURRAY!' (Yes, you emission)
I hear some of ladies sob - Lib, Sage, FG, Shadow, myself.
Personally, I just don't know how Uber is going to cope with the departure of it's resident homo poet.
The bastards who moved FJ's desk to a place WHERE HIS SCREEN COULD BE VIEWED need shooting.
On a lighter note, we must congratulate FJ on his new forthcoming job as a journalist.
Eat you heart out Lois Lane, Flash Harry is here to write about coffee mornings and jumble sales.
Also FJ, I hear they have found a cure
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090326/tuk-gays-offered-help-to-be-straight-6323e80.html
So let us PRAY that FJ's desk in his new job (should he actually not be lying) is sufficiently secluded so that he may still post pictures of breasts and write his second rate porn.
This is for you FJ!
Everything you ever wanted to know about F.J.Bell
User id: 32845
Registered on or around: 2008-01-10 13:06:58 GMT
# Messages posted: 135
# Reviews written: 4538
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 5252
# Hits: 153042
Average rating of all messages: 1.2
.JPG)
User Reviews
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-05 00:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is this the reason why he isnt offering sexual favors on my new camwhore?
i thought he stopped loving me
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-03-30 13:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"LOL" @ YNH for being part of the site for almost 3 years and never posting.
Use your words, ditch pig.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-03-30 01:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Little Britain.
Submitted by Offspring (user info) at 2009-03-29 20:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121051#2857968
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-03-28 01:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FJ!
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-03-27 18:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL @ Orgasmatron craving the title of uber's biggest fag.
What a moron.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-27 07:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you cant have sent him enough shots of your hole?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-27 06:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphaggy why do you not email me anymore? have i done something wrong?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-27 06:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, I will be sad to see you go. Sure, you may pop on at the weekend or whatever, but essentially you will have left.
Sphaggy who have you stopped emailing me, what did I do wrong?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-27 06:06:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahh ok
doo doo de doo
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-03-27 05:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Luckily I'm interested because I'm sure there will be alot more of these fucking posts to come... If History is anything to go by.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-27 05:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Some of you may not be aware that tomorrow is FJ Bell's last day."
ie. at the end of today. Or maybe sooner, I don't know, when the men in uniforms come, I shall have to go with them.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-27 05:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this leaving post shouldnt really be a leaving post, more like a 'back in the morning post'
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-27 05:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatron is certainly the Laureate of the Trolls. I can't compete with that guy.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-27 04:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good grief
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 23:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Smartass below.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-03-26 18:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba, where and when did I say I ws any good?
Actually, I think that it was better than most shite posted recntly (before the UGR started)
Seriously, you called a truce with apollo idn't you? Now you are relentlessly hounding me like a cancer in the ass. why? how can one minute you be mailing me 'you ok?' and the next insulting me at every turn?
=====
???????? If I mailed you, I was passed out and did it in my sleep. You suck, PERIOD!!
--
Ahem.
Err... just for my own sense of clarity here, do you mean that 'she sucks period' as in: felches menstrating ladies, or do you mean 'She sucks. Period.' as in: She sucks. full stop?
Sorry to bother you with such questions but the inclusion of the comma confused me. It's easier to understand your vitriol when it's not so grammatically ambiguous.
cheers.
==============
"You suck. Period." Rather simple, really. It means 'you suck." Period is there in place of the litle tiny dot. It means, in effect, that she sucks. Period. Stop trying to act all intellectual. It is not only unbecoming, it makes you look as dumb as Feely. Stop. Now.
:D
---
Not so, dear Bubba! My ignorance as to the true meaning behind your, frankly Wlidean, wit should be all the indicator you need as to my intellectual inferiority. Indeed, such is the gulf between our realative IQ's that I felt no qualms whatsoever in asking to explain your clever quip - clearly somebody as enlightened as yourself is blessed with the realisation that educating those at a mental disadvantage is akin to a primal duty.
I humbly thank you for your generous schooling sir. Please, continue to dazzle us with the rapier edge of your intimidating mind.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 18:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i reckon old spamuel would make a good teacher, 'cause he just schooled bubba.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba, where and when did I say I ws any good?
Actually, I think that it was better than most shite posted recntly (before the UGR started)
Seriously, you called a truce with apollo idn't you? Now you are relentlessly hounding me like a cancer in the ass. why? how can one minute you be mailing me 'you ok?' and the next insulting me at every turn?
=====
???????? If I mailed you, I was passed out and did it in my sleep. You suck, PERIOD!!
--
Ahem.
Err... just for my own sense of clarity here, do you mean that 'she sucks period' as in: felches menstrating ladies, or do you mean 'She sucks. Period.' as in: She sucks. full stop?
Sorry to bother you with such questions but the inclusion of the comma confused me. It's easier to understand your vitriol when it's not so grammatically ambiguous.
cheers.
==============
"You suck. Period." Rather simple, really. It means 'you suck." Period is there in place of the litle tiny dot. It means, in effect, that she sucks. Period. Stop trying to act all intellectual. It is not only unbecoming, it makes you look as dumb as Feely. Stop. Now.
:D
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba, where and when did I say I ws any good?
Actually, I think that it was better than most shite posted recntly (before the UGR started)
Seriously, you called a truce with apollo idn't you? Now you are relentlessly hounding me like a cancer in the ass. why? how can one minute you be mailing me 'you ok?' and the next insulting me at every turn?
=====
???????? If I mailed you, I was passed out and did it in my sleep. You suck, PERIOD!!
--
Ahem.
Err... just for my own sense of clarity here, do you mean that 'she sucks period' as in: felches menstrating ladies, or do you mean 'She sucks. Period.' as in: She sucks. full stop?
Sorry to bother you with such questions but the inclusion of the comma confused me. It's easier to understand your vitriol when it's not so grammatically ambiguous.
cheers.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... it's O-Toad.
i'm with red, Orgasmo's rating totally swayed mine.
sorry you hunchbacked, cyclops baby machine. it's nothing personal.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
(I love you scourge)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
SHUT THE FUCK UP KINDLY SCOURGE THANK YOU
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and now who the fuck is this 'orgasmatron' yahoo?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and now who the fuck is this 'orgasmatron' yahoo?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A Brief Response to a Mouth-Breathing "Look at Me, Look at Me" Tramp
Mars Orgasmatron opens his eyes
Letting his arms hang down to laugh
The stippled stretch upon his jaw
Irresolute, darkening the half
I do not defend
The likes of you I do not
Pretend to like you
But this is because you don't put out
And "Won't FotFD" is quite the dealbreaker
O Toad does not truck with pussy Quakers
"Sorry"
"I'm sorry" to your BFF as well
Your Ducky dear, your lovely FJ Bell
For he has been in good times and in bad
The bestest intarweb friend that you had
But was there buttsecks once or twice?
We really want to know, to see if FJ
Hollowed out the place his head would go.
FEAR THE LISHY
FEAR, FEAR THE LISHY (YEAH)
FEAR THE LISHY
FEAR, FEAR THE LISHY
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd rather go and watch south park.
if i go to bed I think and I don't want to think right now, not too deeply.
night
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 17:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You win on all four points. Heat is what it's about. Take your boobies to bed now, you old twat.
:D
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd rather be retarded than nasty, pointless and bitter.
Thanks for the heat.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba, where and when did I say I ws any good?
Actually, I think that it was better than most shite posted recntly (before the UGR started)
Seriously, you called a truce with apollo idn't you? Now you are relentlessly hounding me like a cancer in the ass. why? how can one minute you be mailing me 'you ok?' and the next insulting me at every turn?
=====
???????? If I mailed you, I was passed out and did it in my sleep. You suck, PERIOD!!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cunt of a reatrd
-------------
haha.
and your insults make no sense, no sense at all.
seriously, when have i said o was bad?
who gives a fuck?
are you on crack? what gives?
Is this thing, like boys did at school, where really you fancy me and this is your way of getting attention??
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut up. bitch, you creepy blue eye-shadowed cunt of a reatrd. O-man is better than any poet you know, and I am better than you by at least seven orders of magnitude. Shut up, NOW!!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba, where and when did I say I ws any good?
Actually, I think that it was better than most shite posted recntly (before the UGR started)
Seriously, you called a truce with apollo idn't you? Now you are relentlessly hounding me like a cancer in the ass. why? how can one minute you be mailing me 'you ok?' and the next insulting me at every turn?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Feely, don't try poetry again. You suck, and poorly.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba you great ape of a moron, please stay the fuck away from me.
you give me the creeps.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Personally, I just don't know how Uber is going to cope with the departure of it's resident homo poet."
In the words of Guy de Maupassant, upon finding some of Gustave Flaubert's toys mixed in with his mom's old playthings, "O RLY?"
Orphelia you Ignorant Fucking Cow,
Your noob is showing, proud and true
So here's a tip from me to you
Before you practice to applaud
And celebrate an Ubertard
Whose head is so far up your end
That I can't even comprehend
The thick and human smell, severe,
That doubles as his atmosphere...
Do not forget that there's a man
Who wrote before you first began
And with his poet muscles flexed
They say "more gay than homosex"
Who wrote of balls and prolapsed butts
Of menstrual tea and spilling guts
And varied other subjects which
I doubt you'd understand
You bitch
This oversight I cannot stand:
I am that very poet man!
Now make amends, and make them well
Or I will...well, I cannot tell
For where's the fun in that?
(I'm really sorry FJ has to wear you as a hat)
I'll probably just ignore you
Attention whore
===================
Feely.you do realize that you are stupid, hmmm???
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
his 'joke' wasn't funny.
David Jason is a very funny actor, but not a funny man.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't see what is wrong with 'penis glue'.
That joke that David Jason got in trouble for. I don't get it.
'If I only had a brain!'
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
penis glue?
*shakes head*
no no no.
What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
A quarter pounder with cheese
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's this? Mighty O on a Pheely post?
It just simply can't be true!
How can you bless my lowly whoring prose
with your poetry blood so blue?
As a lurker King O, I read your work
I admired you something silly.
But did you auto-rate my posts +2
And mail me pictures of your willy?
Did you phone stinking drunk at 2am
Declaring your e-love true?
Or did you shag me until I felt sore
And was filled up with your penis glue?
Where were you when hate was posted
Calling me an attention slag?
Or when my blue eyeshadow came underfire
And I was labelled the Uber hag?
FJ may be much inferior to you.
But he is our gayish British poet
And O, the tone of that 'quoted line'
Was sarcastic and you know it!
Besides, you forget you already have
The adoration of beautiful 'Lishy.
If I were to camp on all your posts
She'd sure think there's something fishy.
She'd have me banned and I'd Uber no more
And how would I fill my day then?
Get a job? Get a life? Go outdoors??
Speak to real ladies and men?
Such thoughts send my head a spinning
So now I shall retire early to bed.
But one last thing before I log out
Fuck off and drop dead you wanker Red.
xxx
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He's gayer than ruffles and croquet mallets.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
O's rating has totally biased my opinion of this post.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thank god.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaha.
true, O's got bell beat man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Personally, I just don't know how Uber is going to cope with the departure of it's resident homo poet."
In the words of Guy de Maupassant, upon finding some of Gustave Flaubert's toys mixed in with his mom's old playthings, "O RLY?"
Orphelia you Ignorant Fucking Cow,
Your noob is showing, proud and true
So here's a tip from me to you
Before you practice to applaud
And celebrate an Ubertard
Whose head is so far up your end
That I can't even comprehend
The thick and human smell, severe,
That doubles as his atmosphere...
Do not forget that there's a man
Who wrote before you first began
And with his poet muscles flexed
They say "more gay than homosex"
Who wrote of balls and prolapsed butts
Of menstrual tea and spilling guts
And varied other subjects which
I doubt you'd understand
You bitch
This oversight I cannot stand:
I am that very poet man!
Now make amends, and make them well
Or I will...well, I cannot tell
For where's the fun in that?
(I'm really sorry FJ has to wear you as a hat)
I'll probably just ignore you
Attention whore
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He'll be about every now and again.
Wont be able to help himself. You'll miss us too much right FJ.....RIGHT?!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-03-26 13:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-03-26 13:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://farts.typepad.com/fart-sound-board.swf
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-03-26 13:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome to the carnival merry-go-round
select any steed
hope you like your selection
you can never leave
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Offspring (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hail to the gay.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've already forgotten about him.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post's comments reminds me of when Princess Di died.
It's kinda the same FJ leaving = Diana dying.
God FJ, don't say your gonna stick around. I made the post. LEAVE.
Staying isn't an option, you've been written off.
Anything you post from now on will be regarded as sico having got your password.
Anyway, hanging out on Uber on your mobile phone and at weekends is so not cool.
;)
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to dress in women's clothing.
George Weiss: You're a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
George Weiss: You're not a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, I'm all man. I even fought in WWII. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And wrote ghey war poetry, I'll bet.
Ghey war poet, below.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
F.J., I'm all man - I even fought in WWII.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In denial, below.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Homo, below.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel the trembling tingle of a sleepless night
Creep through my fingers and the moon is bright
Beams of blue come flickering through my window pane
Like gypsy moths that dance around a candle flame
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did I never thought you would
Moonlight used to bathe the contours of your face
While chestnut hair fell all around the pillow case
And the fragrance of your flowers rest beneath my head
A sympathy bouquet left with the love that's dead
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did I never thought you would
Never thought the words you said were true
Never thought you said just what you meant
Never knew how much I needed you
Never thought you'd leave, until you went
Morning comes and morning goes with no regret
And evening brings the memories I can't forget
Empty rooms that echo as I climb the stairs
And empty clothes that drape and fall on empty chairs
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did I never thought you would
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GODDAMNIT!!! FLASH HARRY IS NOT GAY!*
* Unsubstantiated rumor.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok. I was beginning to feel like I was at your wake.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not leaving leaving. I just won't be able to hang around like a sexy French aftershave anymore.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't quite understand why FJ is leaving. I understand about the job situation, but that doesn't explain why he's leaving altogether.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't written anything in ages.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who will I hate now?
Although it's not hate.I'm just jealous of his writing skills.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 10:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-03-26 10:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this sucks. And I don't mean Orphy.
Good luck, Mr. Bell.
Your quality writing will be highly missed...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-03-26 10:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hate when i go to new york and see all the pretty gay boys. it's just disheartening :(
good luck bell.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-26 10:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I changed my mind...I'm not going to Paris; I'm going to Nice. Precious little beats the Cote d'Azur in early August.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 10:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolument.
Hey, everyone: don't be mean to sage. Or else.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FJ...pretty please...promise to come back from time to time and check up on me and defend me Crocker style, mmmmkay? And if one of us ever crosses the Atlantic for whatever reason (a trip to Paris may be in my not-too-distant future) we'll definitely have to do the many drinks/making out thing, capisce?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PS: my favorite was "Gay Bob"..."for everyone"!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll miss you, FJ!! :(
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:26:05 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
They are talking about me in the past tense already :o( I'm not even cold yet!!
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:)
I once left for about 8 weeks. No one noticed except Sgt H who, when I finally commented put 'Orphelia sighting!'
No one really gives a shit.
I bet some creepy lurker is already writing a smutty poem, ready to replace you!
==================
what can I say, Im a slut for orphelia.
And I take offence to that, I totally give a shit.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:26:05 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
They are talking about me in the past tense already :o( I'm not even cold yet!!
-----------------
:)
I once left for about 8 weeks. No one noticed except Sgt H who, when I finally commented put 'Orphelia sighting!'
No one really gives a shit.
I bet some creepy lurker is already writing a smutty poem, ready to replace you!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They are talking about me in the past tense already :o( I'm not even cold yet!!
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Don't worry, 3 weeks from now they'll have forgotten you altogether.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Never heard of him.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They are talking about me in the past tense already :o( I'm not even cold yet!!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care one way or another, but he was one of the "better" users. I use that term almost as loosely as fj's ass hole.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the gay is this?
Do you see what happens when America sleeps, the Brits homo up the place.
Good luck FJ you will be missed, my Euro-Brother.
Just make sure you stick around long enough to lay numerous +2's on my UGR post later. I think Offspring might beat me.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Paging Orphelia, paging Orphelia...
Please come to your post promptly, thank you that is all.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My fingers are so cold, I wish someone would sit on them.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude thats exactly what happens to me!
and its even worse if I got laid the night before...
we are strange animals you and I.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, it's ridiculous. When I'm hungover all I want to do is snack, nap, and fuck. Then repeat.
And my willy gets SO much harder when I'm hungover, it's strange.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 08:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bint I'll cup my Gens so that he wont have access!
FJ do you always get randy when you're hungover? I only ask because I am in that category too, the wife is not amused by it. Its an odd reaction to feeling so horrible.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 07:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Watch it Sgt, FJ is having 'Issues' with his penis today and it sounds like he wants someone to pay attention to it.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 07:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok FJ, but no funny business...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 07:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, Sarge, it's devastating. Come here fella, let's hug it out.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 07:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, no way!!
That fucking sucks. FJ's my friend.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 07:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am talking about my penis to try and stop myself from worrying. Besides, it is being so obnoxious today I could hardly not pay attention to it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 07:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I find death and shit makes you terribly horny. not that FJ's sister is dead.
She be having breast implants.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your sisters in Hospital and all you can think about is your penis? You boy have some problems
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You gave her AIDS?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe, yeah, sorry. My wee sister's in hospital and I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about it by being obscene. Hope you don't mind too much.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BTW, the Yanks are waking up now so please adjust your syntax so we can understand you.
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I wouldn't know a syntax if it walked up to me and spat in my face.
And I am part way through an english degree. For real.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are gross.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My my! This was a whole lotta gay!
BTW, the Yanks are waking up now so please adjust your syntax so we can understand you.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will think about posting it if you talk dirty to me down the phone while I wank. Deal?
(But even then, I still won't post it).
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will give you two hundred quid to post in.
you have to felt tip the Uber u on it though first.
Wang day thursday.
there is a few I'd like to see.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some mornings I wake up and my willy looks pretty normal, but other days I wake up and it looks huge. Thicker, longer, more sensitive.
Today is a good willy day, it feels massive.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 06:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderful.
I actually did write to Mills & Boon to ask how I could go about writing for them, but they never got back to me, the fuckers.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love Bill Bailey - his stand up has me in pieces. I thought 'Argos - the laminated book of dreams' was genius.
QI, Mock the Week and HIGNFY are cool (I particularly like QI) but Buzzcocks has really lost something lately, I am not keen on Amstell.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 09:53:43 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just looked up 'Spade Classics' from the 'Meat Rack boys' cartoon. They have some hilarious titles, 'Ass Lovin Ex-con' hehehe:
http://www.vintagesleaze.com/catalogs-adult-star.html
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you do not want to see the things my eyes witness when google imaging the word gay.
haha I know i looked into it they are pretty funny.
FJ I will email you everyday of course no one else speaks to me on here. I am pratically invisible i am so ignored :(
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh that sucks. May well skip them and go straight to 'Written by Anonymous' then. Probably still be FJ anyway.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop talking about swollen clits, I am wildly hungover and therefore particularly randy. My penis could shell oysters today.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I struggle to find many comedians regularly funny these days. Some are funny on QI, Never mind teh Buzzcocks and those shows. I was very tempted to go and see Frankie Boyle Live, but he's meant to be awful.
Just bought my mum two tickets to go and see Bill Bailey for her birthday.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No no Bint, they refer to actual body parts as 'her special place' and 'his love truncheon' and 'her triangle of passion'.
They'd never actually name it.
The men are always Doctors, and complete bastards who break the chicks heart to be comforted by her friend 'Tom' who will be a vet or something and their love will be gentle and pure nearly thwarted by his evil ex but happily ever after and all that
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just looked up 'Spade Classics' from the 'Meat Rack boys' cartoon. They have some hilarious titles, 'Ass Lovin Ex-con' hehehe:
http://www.vintagesleaze.com/catalogs-adult-star.html
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should watch some Billy Connolly if you want a giggle. Something from the 80s.
I've never seen an unknown comedian, so I don't worry about that so much. I've only seen Ricky Gervais, Frank Skinner, Robin Ince and now Ardal, and they were all hilarious so I wasn't fake laughing. That would be awkward. There's something quite arrogant about standing up in front of people and saying 'laugh at me.' I couldn't do it.
Who will I miss the most, hmm. I would say you, but you'll be emailing me every day with various demands, I am sure. Yes?
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet they do say Swollen clit in them. I think they like Pulsating and throbbing too. Why have I avoided them for so long?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, that is sico, well spotted.
Haha they don't say 'swollen clit' in Mills and Boon, though if they did, I'd understand why my gran reads them so avidly.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that Sico in the sailor hat?
Looks like I will have to go to mills and boon for my Pseudo erotic fiction from now on.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hear some of you shout 'HURRAY!' (Yes, you emission)
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Er, no meaning we are really now the only morning Brits emission, unless Banj or Red or LM is on.
Not often you see them never mind anyone else!
Uber will be ours emission! Thi means you have to review all my posts first so it doesn't say 'Post Title' 0 on 0 reviews for like, ages. :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I could do with a laugh. I am not keen on comedy clubs, I have such a fucked up sense of humour I worry I will sit there not laughing - or fake laughing - and the act will see this and make fun of me. I'd hate that.
Who will ya miss most then FJ??
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hear some of you shout 'HURRAY!' (Yes, you emission)
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I have always thought FJ was a very good writer and I have no reason for being glad that he leaves.
I would love to see Ardal, he wrote a book called 'talk of the town' . Good read.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Town-Ardal-OHanlon/dp/0340693096
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! Ardal O'Hanlon. Funny fucker, so he was. Bejaysus.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
From Father Ted?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Writing for the magazine will be as well as my current job, as it will only be a couple of things a month. I went to see Father Dougal do stand-up last night, so I am hungover like a poisoned horse and face hurts from laughing so much.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'You broke my heart!'
:(
You must email me the name of the rag you'll be writing for so when you have left I can post stuff on Uber and generally be mean.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a complete fruitcake, and I love you :o)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit, I thought I'd get the topless man! :(
Stupid purple dot.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-03-26 05:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, can I have your account plz :)