UGR09R2 - The Bitch Went Nuts (442 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.44 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tardleby the Gruemaster (View user info) at 2009-03-26 11:13:11 EDT
The Bitch Went Nuts
The six friends had been texting each other all day, and all of their other friends as well. Little attention was paid in school today because today was the culmination of the planning of an immense joke on someone they didn't even know. They were going to meet at the mall and Random someone and it was going to be so cool. There would be friends of friends with video cameras all around and on the upper floor looking down, and the at last count there would be fifteen girls who would all walk up to the same person, stop, throw their hands out towards the person and say "Gotcha!", and then walk away. The person's reaction would make great youtube.
All afternoon they were anxious to get to the mall. It was Friday, it would be busy, it would be crowded, and there would be lots of possible victims. Finally, finally, 3:30 came along and the crowd of highschoolers ran out to the parking lot to finalize the plan. The girl who'd thought of the plan was going to choose the victim and send their picture to all the others. It'd have to be done quickly, so everyone would have to be in place. Video cameras and cell phones in hand, they headed to the mall.
They went in and met at the food court. This was obviously the place to pull it off, they decided, since there was a large open area and plenty of people, and it was easily viewable from the upper floor balcony. The group dispersed into their various locations to wait for the signal. The fifteen girls sat at tables in the food court, talking quietly and looking around. A lot of their friends and acquaintances who had heard of the prank were there to witness.
Moms with little kids heading for Toy-R-Us, old guys just walking around, mall security idiots acting tough, fat guys and muscleheads going into Sports Authority, nobody looked good. There! Middle aged lady walking along and looking into the store displays without being too close to the glass. Here she comes! The picture was taken and sent. Here she comes! The girls got up one by one and the friends with video cameras zoomed in. Seeing the girls moving, many of the others followed at a distance
From all sides they closed in. The lady was wearing a brown coat and hat. Her face was clearly visible to several of the cameras as the fifteen got closer and closer. Seeing some of them approaching, she moved farther into the center of the mall. Perfect! They had surrounded her and were all within a few feet. Behind them almost eighty other kids were closing in to watch the fun The girls all turned to face the lady, who clearly knew something was going on. The girls threw out their hands and screamed "GOTCHA!" as loud as they could, even though some of them could not help laughing.
After the twelve funerals, a local news reporter tried to interview the boy who had shot the clearest video of what had become known as the Mall Massacre. His video had shown the woman surrounded and frightened, and it clearly recorded the girls shouting the word they'd decided upon. In high quality it recorded the details of the woman screaming in fear and pulling the long knife from her purse and slashing wildly around her to keep the attackers away. Pressed in by all the other kids, the girls could not run. They could not escape the terrified woman and her randomly slashing bloody blade. It was all right there in High Definition. All the boy could say was "I don't know. The bitch went nuts."
User Reviews
Submitted by abdansner (user info) at 2009-03-27 14:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TLawrence (user info) at 2009-03-27 13:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-27 13:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-27 12:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AHHHH!
I have this thing I do now where I join contests then Forfeit. It's quite pathetic really.
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ummm, excuse me?
that's been my bit for a long time and i'll have to kindly ask you to keep your hand off of it, mister.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-27 12:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AHHHH!
I have this thing I do now where I join contests then Forfeit. It's quite pathetic really.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2009-03-26 20:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why, Snark, one becomes the Master of Grue by winning the grUeBERfest contest, which for some reason and against all odds I did last time around. You're welcome to join in the festivities and make your bid to take the title of Gruemaster from me come October 09.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-03-26 19:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How does one go about becoming a master of grue?
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Middle aged lady walking along and looking into the store displays without being too close to the glass."
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heh GOTCHA!
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-03-26 16:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never ever screw with the middleaged women, we are nuts already, we need no help.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-03-26 15:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-03-26 14:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-03-26 14:00:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As in, yikes the old bitch went nuts, cool story Hansel.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-03-26 13:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yikes.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We just call it the shops, or whatever the name of the shop is like the forum or galleria and they certainly arn't megamonoliths like the stores in America.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it well enough.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-03-26 12:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate the word mall. So American... not that American is bad, just that word sums up all that is bad. The rampant consumerism, the raping of the English language, stupid girls who say "like" a lot and then grow up to become Paris Hilton. But, like I said it isn't all bad and this isn't a bah humbug I hate America, fuck, fuck, fuck. Just a comment on the mall word. Which I don't like.
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"Pop down to the shoppes" is much more quaint than "Go to the Mall". That's why all the new malls are called "The Shoppes at <insert colorful residential area name>" Know what? They're still malls. The county in which I live has an ordinance that prevents retail establishments from sharing a roof over communal space. Practical upshot: no malls, just "shoppes".
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This could've been a really decent story but it just seemed to preemptive to even build a story. Once you knew it was an old woman you knew what was going to happen. What I'm trying to say is that my boxers aren't sticking to my dick from this one.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it even though it was pretty clear what was going to happen. I read it to find out how it happened.
Submitted by Offspring (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She went nuts.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate the word mall. So American... not that American is bad, just that word sums up all that is bad. The rampant consumerism, the raping of the English language, stupid girls who say "like" a lot and then grow up to become Paris Hilton. But, like I said it isn't all bad and this isn't a bah humbug I hate America, fuck, fuck, fuck. Just a comment on the mall word. Which I don't like.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, but I'm not really satisfied that she just went crazy when it was just a bunch of kids playing a practical joke. They didn't even touch her, they just threw their hands out at her. I "get" that "the bitch went nuts" but it felt a bit too abrupt and strange and was a bit meh.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
no, i'm not disappointed in it so much... i just think you could have turned this story into a lot more than you did.
it was done well enough, it just left me unsatisfied.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry to disappoint, scourge. These contests are mainly brain exercise for me and I in no way expect to be able to really compete. I try to write technically correct even if my ideas are not great. It only took me two hours to write that story and find the picture that went with it, so I'm very happy with your critique.
*DING*
Fries are done. Gotta go.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool, I would have gone with...
"in one blindingly fast motion the woman had drawn her sword from her him, dispatching the lively teenagers one at a time, she was an assassin, and was waiting for this day to come..."
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'm a little disappointed... you could have done so much with this title.
still, coherent sentences, lack of grammatical errors and typos...
*sigh*
uber is really shite these days, huh?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-03-26 11:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! Teenagers suck...