Grumblings... (735 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.49 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KaosKling(Anus777) (View user info) at 2009-04-03 16:45:56 EDT
Warning faggish in nature
#1 - Ever since the gay bar closed and was sold off, the crew from the old place has been kind of wandering around gaylessly. However, in the last month, we've been hitting up another gay bar a few miles out of town for their open ass night. Now, I don't blow instruments, cause I cant suck cock worth a shit, but I can easily cheer on the others. It's a pretty gay time every thursday night, and the place has cheap ass if not a "huge" selection ;).
#2 - Cigarette prices have become outrageous. I really don't give a fuck because ill smoke until my lungs explode, but god damn it. Even the most generics are over $40 a carton now. That's over 4 dollars a pack! Omg! *hand flip* I've broken out my old rolling machine and filtered tubes, a half pound of menthol tobacco purchased. Not only is it cheaper, but the pain-in-the-ass, that I love so much, of rolling each one will cut down my consumption. Don't worry it'll only go down from three hundred, to about two hundred and fifty seven a day.
#3 - My diet continues on well enough. I'm doing that "Rabid Forager." Basically, I eat healthy cold cereal, Peanut Butter toast and apple sauce. Every few days I get so fucking hungry I get on my moped and go shut down a sizzler. I'm walking almost a mile a day, just around the block to kfc really, but damn if im not trying. Along with doing some light free weights (I bought the punisher dildo, it weighs nearly seven pounds), a sit-up and a push-up. By the way, that Special K 'chocolatey delight' is a fucking failure. Gimme the black men.
#4 - I've been listening to little else besides pretentious Post-coital emo bands recently. Stuff like Fall out boy, FFTL, Bullet for my Valentine, and My chemical Romance. Throw in some Senses Fail, Red Jump Suit Apparatus, Alkaline Trio, Death Cab for Cutie, and Dashboard. This stuff is great to sulk to and is equal parts beautiful, magical and amazing. It's mostly all homosexual, so don't go in looking for talent.
#5 - I've decided that telecocknetics, the ability to move cocks with my thoughts, would be a badass power...
#6 - There is no spoon.
#7 - Have you ever noticed how many bizarre people have biographies published out there? I was at the library looking through the section and was simply amazed. People of no significant historical or literary value will have something like four or five books written about them. Me? All I want are biographies on authors, maybe a musician or two. Does LeBron James really need three already???
#8 - I managed to acquire a Dell laptop that's a few years old. I have absolutely NO idea how the fuck it works. I can't even tell you the last time I used a PC. Regardless, it was free and I should be calling a witch doctor to check out this magical flat box. The laptop scares me. I'm convinced my big gorilla fingers are going to smash it and post again on ubersite.
#9 - I believe I'm still the only person who ever watches the TV show, "Smallville." As per the next usual question, YES... it's still on lol. Most of the main characters have left, but the plot is still just as rediculous. They're in Cocktroplis most of the time now, kinda making the title a bit off. They've rewritten most everything, along with Lois Lane & Brainiac, the Justice League & Doomsday. However, it's still full of eye-candy and a great guilty pleasure.
#10 - I leave you with a hot candy, Red hots.
It was all in good fun.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-19 20:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chuckle-worthy
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-04-06 09:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-06 07:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry, that review was for ramblings, not grumblings... i cut and pasted it into the wrong post.
still, now that i read this post, same applies.
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-06 07:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Horrible, no point at all...
Very little humor (attempt at humor), overwhelming amount of nauseating and pointless detail
again, seems like a fragment thought from a boring inner-monologue of an ordinary person... most would disregard such thoughts as nonsense... you however felt the need to share it.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-06 06:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You work AT being poor. Get a better job, ditch the bourgemobile, lower your costs. Put some dosh aside, invest in yourself. With luck, perseverance and time you'll have enough to be poor off for years. Why are you buying shit weed at that price? Take a weekender to Holland. 5-7 EU / gram dutch hydro beats anything you get in the UK. Coke is a waste of time.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-04-06 05:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I got to...
"That's over 4 dollars a pack! "
...and had to stop, fuck you kaos. Here in the UK we pay over £5 for 20 ciggies. At the average exchange rate over the last year that's more than $10 a pack.
Personally I've been on the rollies for years, but still 50g of tobacco = £12, that's nearly $25 and will last about 4 days.
I've got a half decent job, at which I do a half arsed job, but i earn about £70 / £80 a day - £10 of which is fuel to get there and back and £5 is the ciggies I need to get through the day.
I hate it when yanks moan about the price of things. Here in the UK, it's practically a communist dictatorship with all the tax we pay and the way all that cash goes to the rich and the poor but not those of us who work all day for it.
Want a beer in the UK? ~ $5
Want a 1/4 ounce of SHIT weed ~ $80
A gram of nasty cut up coke - $100
Tank of fuel (50 litres) - $120 - will last 1 week. (80%+ of this goes straight into our unelected, money wasting, failed banker paying Prime Ministers coffers)
Sit on your arse all day, can't be fucked to get a job, couldn't even support yourself let alone master the complexities of contraception - drop kid, get given enough money every month to go drinking every night, smoke expensive ciggies and play a top of the range games console on your nice big LCD tv - in that lovely house the rest of us pay for!
I work and I'm poor. There's really something wrong here.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-04-04 11:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Red Jump Suit Apparatus
+++
for some reason i read that as red jump suit asparagus. it seemed really cool, then i realized that's not what it said. sad.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-03 23:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pretentious Post-coital emo bands"""
lol, don't believe i've read that expression before.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, wildman, and you tell me what is funny, you retarded little asswipe. Fuck you.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tres gay.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Honestly I only smiled, but this place needs more mocking posts.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-04-03 21:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Bubba, like his own little pee-pee he just can't seem to get a good grasp on what funny is.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-04-03 20:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehehe Omg! *hand flip*
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-03 20:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 Rabid Forager.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA!!!! Awesome...
Submitted by modernpost (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wasn`t trying to be funny...knob nibbler
Submitted by modernpost (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you think this post is funny - you're a bender.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" #8 - I managed to acquire a Dell laptop that's a few years old. I have absolutely NO idea how the fuck it works. I can't even tell you the last time I used a PC. Regardless, it was free and I should be calling a witch doctor to check out this magical flat box. The laptop scares me. I'm convinced my big gorilla fingers are going to smash it and post again on ubersite."
~~~~~~~~~
I was not born with a mouse in my hand. The damn thing had no instruction book. The "chimp on crack" method was my choice of instruction. Punch every button and tap every key till somthing happens. Somthing did happen, I found myself sitting here near the fireplace in my hut in the woods, communicating with cosmic-comic beings...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fag
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did something I rarely do and read this aloud to the Bloke...both of us howled with laughter - especially the kfc comment..
love you +2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, this was funny.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on schedule again I see. Fuck off Bubba. This was a good post.
==============
Good compared to what? Your breath? Go fuck yourself.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's rich.
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 shut down a sizzler ^__^
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on schedule again I see. Fuck off Bubba. This was a good post.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-03 17:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-03 16:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-03 16:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121728