I Have No Clue (605 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.28 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2009-04-03 19:32:11 EDT
What is this? Where am I? I don't understand.
"Hello, Bob, how do you feel?"
Who are you? I remember the crash, but everything after that is a blur, if that doesn't sound too trite.
"OK, let me explain. You died about ten minutes ago, and now you are in the presence of God. Oh, I know you don't believe in Him, but you have been wrong for most of your life. He is here, and He wants to talk to you."
Nah, this is a nightmare, and I wonder when I will wake up.
"Sorry, fellah, but it isn't a dream. You passed away in that wreck, and now you are here. As I said, God will be talking to you very shortly. Please show the proper respect. He doesn't like smartypants replies to his questions."
My god, that is a bright light.
Silent thunder is an oxymoron, but that's what it was. When the rumbling ceased, I saw what might only be described as a vision. Long gray hair? No. Light around his head? No. Just an old looking man who looked very wise. I started to be scared.
"How do you feel, Bob?" he asked me. What could I say? I felt no pain, but I knew something was really wrong. I started to suspect the truth; I might really be dead.
"Excuse me, Sir, but who the hell are you?"
That comment brought forth a huge belly laugh from Him, and he spoke after composing Himself.
"Who the Hell? Oh, Bob, you have twisted your thoughts throughout your entire life, but that one is a classic. Who the hell?"
As I realized I just stepped in it, He smiled and started talking again.
"Bob, you used to believe in Me when you were a young boy, but, like so many others, you gave Me up when you became a teenager. I've seen it a billion times, but it never fails to hurt me. I won't hold it against you, because it's all part of the free will thing I allowed Man to have. However, this is now, and that was then."
The rumbling resumed, and I saw the stern look on his face.
"Bob, you know now that I exist, and I have control over your destiny. I won't force you to worship me, nor will I suggest that you worship the guy below. You know who I mean.
He wants you as much as I do, but He won't be very nice. Trust Me."
That's when I woke up, scared and sweating. No car wreck. Not dead. But wondering if anything I dreamed was true, or was it all a bunch of crap? You tell me.
User Reviews
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-05 17:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2009-04-14 11:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-14 01:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-13 22:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
...the first post i click on and this is what i find?
utterly pointless, take another hit from your bong and write something worth reading
===============
I mean, I MEAN, ya gotta lotta GODDAMN nerve, askin' me if I have rehabilitated myself!!!
You have no clue what I just said, do you, you fucking fool??????????????
Brainless young asswipe.
________
Why don't you go over there and sit on that bench that says 'Group W' on it? NOW, kid!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-06 11:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah boyeeeeeeee
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-06 05:38:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good sentence structure.
Interesting, kept reading till the end (if any longer, it might have not worked as well)... good story development...
NOTE* a lot of short stories here are difficult to follow. However, this wasn't the case, you clearly described the premise, environment, character intention.
Good character development, good character dialect
...was expecting funny, didn't find it... still, intrigue made up for that
...hated the preachy tone, was expecting something along the lines of "God is dead and we're alone". (hence +1 and not +2)
Also NOTE* didn't like the following sentence, a lot of people here make their descriptions too poetic, makes it sound like a cheesy news story... stick to only writing whats necessary...
"Silent thunder is an oxymoron, but that's what it was. When the rumbling ceased, I saw what might only be described as a vision."
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-06 05:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-05 04:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you don't fucking say, drunk-o?
colour me surprised.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-04 18:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121746
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2009-04-04 00:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by captainrads (user info) at 2009-04-04 00:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's hard to overcome the human superstition that there's something bigger out there.
My friend Eric is a devout Christian, and I love busting him about it. He always tries to tell me how God does so much awesome shit for him, and I usually disagree entirely. He told me a story about how he barely missed a deer while driving and thanked God for it. I told him he was full of shit.
A few weeks later, I hit a deer with my car. Coincidence? Probably. I was speeding, it was dark, and it was the early morning, I was tired. I don't think being atheist attributed to that, it was my own damn fault. Fortunately the damage wasn't too bad either. My car's a damn tank.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah...you're going to hell.
<snicker>
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Lunger, I feel so MUCH better now. . . .
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-04-03 22:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"To see God in your dream, signifies your spirituality and expression of your feelings about divinity. God also symbolizes an untouchable, unreachable, and unattainable notion of perfection. Thus such a dream may highlight your struggles and attempts with trying to be perfect.
To dream that you are worshipping God, signifies repentance of your actions and errors.
To dream that God speaks to you, signifies feelings of guilt, eternal punishment, and damnation."
Source: http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/g2.htm
Of course I'm sure it's crap, like organized religion.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-03 21:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-03 20:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Writing about dreams is difficult. More one of those have to be there things. This sort of read like an outake from a Dead Like Me episode.
I have no clue what it means, if anything.
============
It was an actual dream I had. I doubt it means anything, but it was very disturbing,
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-04-03 21:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...best thing I've EVER read.
I got chills seriously, im going to pray right now.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-03 20:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Writing about dreams is difficult. More one of those have to be there things. This sort of read like an outake from a Dead Like Me episode.
I have no clue what it means, if anything.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-03 20:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T TAKE THE BROWN ACID.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The title says it all. You have no clue.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-03 19:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG, post every day. Please, best thing I've EVER read.
I got chills seriously, im going to pray right now.
/vomit