The Last Litter (599 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: Fiction
Rating: 0.95 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kaos-King (antius777) (View user info) at 2009-04-04 01:35:50 EDT
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-04-03 12:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
DO MORE ZOMBIE STORIES, GOD DAMMIT. AND NO MORE BLOGS.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Yeh got yehr gear, boy?"
"Yes sir, as per the requisition order. I've obtained all the necessary..."
Hutchins waved a gnarled hand in a dismissive gesture. "Do yeh gots a good pair o' shitkickers?"
"Um, excuse me?" asked Riley.
"Boots? Thick wit a steel toe? Most 'portant part o' yehr gear," grumbled Hutchins.
Riley glanced down. They had been the last item he had chosen. He had opted for the steel toe construction boots over the military grade combat boots at the final moment. Newly polished, they shined back up at him.
"Yes sir," replied Riley.
Hutchins grunted. "Good. Yeh get inna thick o' tha bastards, yehr gonna need 'em fer puntin' the critters."
The elder team leader marched away from him back down the hallway, leaving Riley to stare with wide eyes as he departed. Most of the other men and women were already geared up and making crude jokes and racial cracks on each other. Through out it all, Riley caught wary glances his way. He tottered on his heels, hoping he hadn't made a mistake.
"So kid," came a voice from the other side of the doorframe, "What they get you in for?"
"Theft," said Riley. "I stole a Mercedes."
"Damn, you're here for a GTA? They must be getting desperate," said a massive black man a little further down the hall.
"Is that even a fucking felon?" another man laughed.
"I don't give two shits," said a thin Latino stalking up to Riley. "You just better keep your damn cool out there, got it?"
Riley was about to reply when a loud whistle echoed down from the front of the hall. Hutchins stormed back in with an even more grizzled looking man behind him. Bald, pale and covered in facial scars, his age was incalculable. He cocked a shotgun and peered around at the other criminals assembled.
"Right. For those who don't know me, the name is Grayson. I'm the only one who's been running this gig longer than Hutchins. He's usually your point man, but we've got a full litter this time. Big. Old and Big. Any of you who have run the game more than a few times knows that means bad blood. I want your fucking A game and I want as many of you back as possible. Hutchins will be on tech since Chavez was KIA."
Riley looked around at the others. Although their faces were grim, he could see a growing excitement among many of them. A litter would mean double points; enough to get some of them released early. That's if they survived.
"Two squads of five, Hutchins in tech and three with me. New kid's my responsibility. Now... let's heat up the wok."
There were a few laughs and grunts of approval.
Riley didn't get it.
• * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"RUN, you little fuck!" screamed the Latino who had harassed Riley a few hours ago.
Cursing in Spanish, he turned to aim the flamethrower back. Before he could even pull the trigger they were on him, swarming him. Riley could hear the sounds of tearing flesh over his screams. The fuel canister must have sparked, because suddenly Riley was knocked down by an explosion.
He scrambled up as quickly as possible, his eyes frantically searching the area for any strays. The fire must have frightened them all back. He scanned the abandoned metropolis for any signs of movement, any survivors from his unit. Nothing.
"Kid!" came a strangled yell.
Riley blinked through the haze of the smoking remains of his charred companion and saw three members of his unit stationed behind the husk of a pickup truck. Keeping close to the crumbling buildings, Riley maneuvered over to them. It was Hutchins, the large black man that he had spoken to before and a woman with sharp feature he hadn't noticed in the hallway. They looked in bad shape, Hutchins bleeding profusely from his left leg.
"Shit, where's your medipack?" asked Riley. "I'll try to..."
"Ferget it," huffed Hutchins. "Be right dead inna few hours anyways."
"It doesn't look that..." tried Riley.
"A 'Callum ripped outta good chunk. I can feel tha poison in me now."
"Shit," swore Riley in defeat as he leaned against the shattered façade of an old bank.
"Where's Grayson?" asked the woman in a shrill voice.
Riley barked out a laugh. "Dead. Dead within minutes of the incursion."
Her and the larger man both swore loudly.
Hutchins just shook his head. "Intell was fer shit. This was a clusterfuck from tha start."
"A litter," spat the woman. "Even a litter as old as first generation wouldn't be as big as the fucking hundreds that came...."
"What?" asked Riley as he heard her trail off.
"Don't matter now, kid," whispered Hutchins.
Riley arched away from the side of the bank to look out into the street. There were dozens of them... hundreds. Long hair, short hair, tabbies, Persian, Siamese. There were small kittens and there were undomesticated jungle cats. All infected with the McCallum Virus. All prowling about, undead, with a venom in their blood and saliva that was deadly to humans.
Hundreds of 'Callums. Hundreds of zombie cats.
Missing eyes or tails, some without all four feet. Some had large patches of fur ripped out and others had seeping sores. One particularly close had lost its bottom jaw. They mewed and howled, purred and roared. Always unsatisfied, always hungry, always hunting.
"So much for probation," exclaimed Riley with a sigh, collapsing back onto the wall as the undead cats surged forward.
User Reviews
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-06 04:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now THIS ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/121758 ) is a real zombie post. Read an learn, cumstain
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-06 02:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
...erg... the only positive thing i can say is you have good sentence structure. (hence -1)
The Irish/Scottish dialect was just frustrating.
The plot starts nowhere and goes nowhere.
Cats... how ironic, right? ...cause i assumed it would be zombies or something, but it was kittens all along.
No character development, not that i cared for any of the characters anyway.
Oh, it's also good to know you like to put in esoteric jokes... as long as they make you laugh
Try again
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-05 12:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was good.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-05 11:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-04-04 23:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From Wikipedia:
The McCallum virus earned its name because of how it made the species jump from man to cat. Long thought impossible due to the germ's sexual transmissibility, it first appeared in 2011 near Fremont, California and spread throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. A quarantine attempt proved succesful at first. Four months after the first infected cats were discovered, then-Governor Gerald Brown announced the end of major combat operations against the Callum Cats. However, a second outbreak struck Los Angeles just a few days later. Spreading rapidly south to San Diego and then into Mexico, this is the outbreak that would eventually bring the United States and the rest of the world to the brink of paralysis.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-04 18:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-01 21:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-01 21:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-01 21:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-01 21:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-01 20:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-03-31 21:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Aww shit, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherfucking toes
We running this, let's go
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat (boat, yeah)
I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat
Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ,
Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's
Straight flipping copies
I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget
I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed
Pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore,
Then you're sure not me-oh
Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!
Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker (motherfucker)
I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)
This boat engine make noise, motherfucker
Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road (yeah)
Poseidon
Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)
Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I say
I fucked a mermaid
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (woah)
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin' boat (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah)
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-04 17:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
meh. boring, ill constructed, trite . Other than that, spot on!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-04 16:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-04-04 15:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A simple sentence describing Hutchins's lack of education and/or proper grammer would have sufficed quite nicely.
--------------
A simple wildman is a fact of life.
Dipshit.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-04-04 15:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A simple sentence describing Hutchins's lack of education and/or proper grammer would have sufficed quite nicely.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-04 14:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-04 14:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-04-04 12:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK. YES.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-04-04 11:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
should have done a blog about zombie stories.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-04-04 10:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahaha
well played, good sir
Submitted by CrapWeed (user info) at 2009-04-04 10:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have thought it would be difficult to make a story about zombie cats quite frightening - and I'm sure it was - but you make it seem so easy. I liked.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-04 09:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"heat up the wok".
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-04-04 03:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw my name somewhere!!!
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-04-04 03:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG LIEK I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS STORY ITS SO STOOPID LIKE DUDE C'MON WE ONLY WANT SRS STORIES OF AWESOME NOT ONES LIKE THIS WHY CANT U POST FUNNY STUFF LIKE JDATE LOLOLOLOLOLOL THIS SITE NEEDS MORE USERS LIKE DAN AND SHIT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
----------------------------------------------------------
That's how everyone below me sounded (except the awesome that is, well, you know his name BITCHES!)
alright I will stop sucking dick and go back to licking your mom's clit
Submitted by TLawrence (user info) at 2009-04-04 03:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quick, go pay lulu.com to print out 100 of these for you while the publicity this post will get from Ubersite lasts.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2009-04-04 03:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-04 02:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, I did it to be silly...
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-04-04 02:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
C'mon, man. It could've been sort of decent if you didn't have to do the name drop.
Submitted by captainrads (user info) at 2009-04-04 02:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zombie cats? That's fucking scary alright, shit damn, good story.