I don't surprise easy (595 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.73 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lrn2play.com<thepoet03.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2009-04-07 03:46:52 EDT
As my title suggests I don't surprise easy. As far back as I can remember life has been very predictable. I always knew exactly what I was getting for every birthday and christmas as a child. I always acted surprised because I felt like it would make my parents sad if I didn't When they told me there was no santa or tooth fairy I wasn't surprised. I guess you could say I just have a good gut instinct.
When I was 17 I was in a horrific car accident I wasn't surprised. I saw the car comming and I knew what was going to happen in fact as everything was going down all I could think it great now I'm part of the statsitic. I mean it was bound to happen. When the Drs said I would never walk again I wasn't surrprised. I also wasn't surprised two years later when I was walking again and they had been wrong.
I wasn't surprised when my Girlfriend whom I'd been having unprotected sex with ended up pregnet. Nor was I surprised when her crazy religious mother forced her to have an abortion.
No you could really say that things for me are pretictible and I don't surprise easy.
There was this one girl I was dating in college on my path to become a docter who started fingering my asshole during sex now that surprised me. Or when my mother of 26 years left my dad for another women I was a little shocked. Mostly I just thought how did I not see these things comming how did I not figure these people out before they shocked me.
I don't really like being surprised In fact you could say that I really like to be in control. In Fact when I walked in on my first wife having sex with another man I wasn't surprised. these things happen. I wasn't surprised when I got arrested for murder or thorwn in jail. And I wasn't surprised about a single thing that happened in the 9 years I spent in jail. So here I am about 45 years old and I've only been surprised a couple times in my life
Until recently my life has taken a turn into a really strange way and I find myself being surprised a lot. Things are just not predictible anymore. I don't know when or why it happened but something in the great cosmic universe has changed.
I was sitting in the park and a complete stranger came up and kissed me on the lips. I was surprised.
I wasn't paying attention to were I was going yesterday and I almost got hit by a car but a complete stranger tackled me and saved my life
And this morning boy was I surprised. When I woke up to my smoke alarm only to find my house on fire. It's been a surpising week I wonder if someone is trying to tell me something?
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-16 01:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this rating shouldn't be a surprise then
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-08 01:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2009-04-07 21:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"in college on my path to become a DOCTER"
Bullshit.
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Iffinya cain't spell it, you cannot be it. If you can't write and spell in your native tongue, why would any thinking individual trust you in higher endeavors? Yeah, dipshit, grammar and spelling are important. If you believe otherwise, you need a lobotomy.
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-07 23:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't know how much, if any of this is true, but i did finish
nothing special, yet original and rather interesting
some parts are amusing/funny
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2009-04-07 21:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"in college on my path to become a DOCTER"
Bullshit.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bwoah yup yup blupppy blupe blee.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lrn2play.com<thepoet03.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2009-04-07 03:46:52 EDT
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I was sitting in the park and a complete stranger came up and kissed me on the lips. I was surprised.
I wasn't paying attention to were I was going yesterday and I almost got hit by a car but a complete stranger tackled me and saved my life
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Did she look like Olivia Newton-John on roller skates? I saw that movie.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2009-04-07 16:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-07 13:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOOO
Got yah.
hahahahahahaha.
FIRE. That sucks man.
Submitted by thepoet03 (user info) at 2009-04-07 12:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What we have gathered here today are the most kind bunch on people in the world. I hope you all die in a fire
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-04-07 10:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha sage said 'Anal' hehe
This sucked. I think what the world is trying to tell you is that the original accident wasn't supposed to be something you lived through.
Submitted by skee (user info) at 2009-04-07 09:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DIE..that's what they're tryin to say duh
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-07 09:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you expect anyone to take you seriously, it would behoove you to at LEAST consider using spell-check or otherwise proofreading your posts.
Improper grammar/heinous spelling errors are extremely distracting and take the focus off whatever it is you're trying to convey.
I enjoy editing (read: I'm ridiculously anal retentive); email me anytime at astrasoleil.at.gmail.com if you need your shit edited.
Submitted by thepoet03 (user info) at 2009-04-07 09:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually I am surprised by the amount of people that really care about spelling and grammar on the internet that much. The last time I took English as was 1987 I'm sorry if I've let that part of my life slip somewhere between murdering my wife and spending all that time in jail. I'll be sure to run all my further posts threw a word processer before posting as this website is so 1990 that it doesn't even have a built in spell checker.
You all sound like some foolish high school kids thinking that grammar and spelling on an open forum with no spell checker matter.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-07 09:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pregnet? Woooooooooooooow.
Why am I consistently surprised at the lack of spelling ability of Uberers?
Homie...it's PREGNANT. If you can't spell well, I suggest using Mozilla Firefox. When you type anything into a text box of sorts (i.e. email, Uber submissions, reviews, etc.), it squiggly-red underlines anything misspelled (similar to MS Word). That goes for all Uberers, really.
FUCKING PROOFREAD!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-07 08:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have a raspberry and razor blade popsicle that you should cram down your gullet.
SUPRISE!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-07 08:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
holy motherfuck
this is whore-end-us.
you know what might suprise you? The afterlife. Jump in front of a train.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-04-07 08:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Most doctors have horrible writing and he has had a car accident, maybe that explains it.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-04-07 08:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No matter how surprisingly bad the post is:
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-07 07:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was really awful. Poor structure, breathtakingly bad grammar, and heinous spelling errors. It reads like it was written by a seven year old kid, and a stupid seven year old kid at that.
Skrap saves the day with ER.
(Enlightened Rating)
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-07 08:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Y HALO THAR PERKMAN
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-07 08:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-07 00:50:51 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It seems literacy is no longer a prerequisite for a career in medicine.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-07 07:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Boo.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-07 07:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was really awful. Poor structure, breathtakingly bad grammar, and heinous spelling errors. It reads like it was written by a seven year old kid, and a stupid seven year old kid at that.
Submitted by RationalRampage (user info) at 2009-04-07 06:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, did you become a "doctor" before or after the 9 years of trying to prove you weren't a fish.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-07 05:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.aboutthebird.com is somewhat surprising
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-07 04:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm guessing this isn't surprising.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-07 03:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was 17 I was in a horrific car accident
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obviously not horrific enough
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-07 03:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It seems literacy is no longer a prerequisite for a career in medicine.