Falling at 3am (1648 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 0.86 on 95 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orphelia (View user info) at 2009-04-10 14:23:06 EDT
You are not awake.
I know you are sleeping, you didn't reply to my last message. You wouldn't do that if you were awake.
I want to text you, I want to call you, I want to say your name and hear you laugh.
I want to be the reason you are laughing.
I can't sleep.
I am too wrapped up in you. And my feet are cold.
There is still so much I want to say, so much I need to ask.
I am impatient to know you better.
I think about Saturday.
The way you will hold me and press your body against mine as you kiss me.
Will you hold my hand?
I imagine the first time you push your fingers inside me and feel my wetness.
I can see you grow harder as you move deeper into me.
I imagine feeling the weight of you pinning me down as you lay above me and enter me.
Sliding slowly at first and thrusting harder with each stroke.
I want to taste you and explore you.
You are beautiful and I can't get enough of you.
Already you are beneath my skin.
I already know I can't be without you. Already I am dreading goodbye.
I want to speak to you so badly my hand hovers over the phone. Hesitation.
I can't, I won't.
To call now would be an admission of how much I have already fallen for you and I don't want to scare you.
Even though I know you feel the same.
I wonder what it will be like to sleep with you.
To drift off with your hand on my stomach, your breath on my cheek.
Laying side by side feels right with you.
Everything feels right with you. And better.
I can't fault you.
You are incredible. Amazing. Mine.
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-25 05:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Baby do you know what you did today,
Baby do you know what you took away,
You took the blue out of the sky,
My whole life changed when you said goodbye,
An' I keep crying, crying.
Ooooh baby,
Ooooh baby,
I wish I never saw the sunshine,
I wish I never saw the sunshine,
An' if I never saw the sunshine bay,
Then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain.
Every day is just like the day before,
All alone a million miles from shore,
All of my dreams I dreamed with you,
Now they will die and never come true,
An' I keep crying, crying.
Ooooh baby,
Ooooh baby,
I wish I never saw the sunshine,
I wish I never saw the sunshine,
An' if I never saw the sunshine baby,
Then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain.
Ooooh this pain,
And I know there would not be,
This cloud that's over me,
Everywhere I go.
Ooooh baby,
Ooooh baby,
I wish I never saw the sunshine,
I wish I never saw the sunshine,
An' if I never saw the sunshine bay,
Then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain.
Ooooh this pain,
I wouldn't mind the rain,
There wouldn't be this pain,
I wouldn't mind the rain,
I wouldn't mind the rain
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-14 01:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-16 17:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
10?
pfffft.
1, kid, 1.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-16 16:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jowls, yes.
Melon head, yes.
After 10 pints you'd still hit it, yeah.
You can't deny the cosmic forces which bring us together.
It is written in the stars.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-16 15:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this is like a skunk telling a rose it smells, you know?
i've seen the pendulous jowls which hang from your melon-esque head.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-16 15:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-16 16:41:18 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't you already have a few significant others? JUST ONE
besides, these long distance things never work. THIS WILL
let's just keep up with the odd sniping comment here and there. i much prefer that, and it's very similar to marriage anyway. OK FATTY
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-16 11:41:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't you already have a few significant others?
besides, these long distance things never work.
let's just keep up with the odd sniping comment here and there. i much prefer that, and it's very similar to marriage anyway.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-16 02:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-15 20:20:27 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, hey jude, most of my posts appear as a dream. i keep a note pad on my bedside table for the purpose of writing down my pure awesomeness before i forget. it is most difficult being constantly awesome, sometimes i wish i were just plain ordinary.
----
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh peasant, how you've made me smile with that.
---------------------------
It's rare someone finds my jokes funny, we should marry or something.
Call me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-15 15:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, hey jude, most of my posts appear as a dream. i keep a note pad on my bedside table for the purpose of writing down my pure awesomeness before i forget. it is most difficult being constantly awesome, sometimes i wish i were just plain ordinary.
----
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh peasant, how you've made me smile with that.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2009-04-14 18:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot the line when he finds out you're practically a member of the Dugger family. Otherwise, great!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-14 07:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Planet (user info) at 2009-04-13 17:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Equalizer
==========================
HEY WHAT THE FUCK!??
TO scrap out this fool
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-14 01:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how SCANDALOUS.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 17:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Planet (user info) at 2009-04-13 22:27:53 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Equalizer
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Cool! :-)
Submitted by Planet (user info) at 2009-04-13 17:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Equalizer
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my puppet? What?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and it is ORPHELIA unless you refer to the name i use for my emails which of course isn't my real name why would I use that on an email i use for uber internet strangers.
lol
dick
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No red, it's the fucking internet and you and your puppet should really stfu.
seriously
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 21:12:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, hey jude, most of my posts appear as a dream. i keep a note pad on my bedside table for the purpose of writing down my pure awesomeness before i forget. it is most difficult being constantly awesome, sometimes i wish i were just plain ordinary.
Submitted by HeyJude (user info) at 2009-04-13 21:08:06 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome orphelia, how do you do it?
---
isn't that your alter?
That's tacky Ophelia.
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, hey jude, most of my posts appear as a dream. i keep a note pad on my bedside table for the purpose of writing down my pure awesomeness before i forget. it is most difficult being constantly awesome, sometimes i wish i were just plain ordinary.
Submitted by HeyJude (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome orphelia, how do you do it?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-13 15:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of calling someone "mine" but I guess its a nice concept.
This was about Fey, wasn't it?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-04-13 19:48:17 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't you just post pictures of somebody, your man, the father of at least one of your babies?
----------------------
He is the father of two of my children the other one's dad is dead.
This post is fiction and every comment I make on it is chit chat.
Fey, I would +2 your posts but I am trying to take our new relationship steady. I do not want to rush things, nor do I wish to appear as if I am trying too hard at such a delicate stage in our affair.
But I think you are awesome. <3
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey I know...
Go Boil his daughters Pet Rabbit....
That really says I love you...
Oh wait that says obsessed.
Yeah Go with that.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
orphelias children are all fathered by different men, i say men, one was an ape, one was a donkey and the other 9 came free with kinder eggs.*
*she fucked the store guy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What does this -2 get Shlongy?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't you just post pictures of somebody, your man, the father of at least one of your babies?
(Flattery gets you a +1, today. Limited offer.)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
emission what is rowl is it like rkelly?
Well I just hate not knowing.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 19:25:21 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fey, lovely Fey, how are we to ever be friends if you zero my post?
:(
You made my baby cry with your ugly zero.
Anyway, scourge and skrappy can fuck off, I can think of LOTS of overrated shite on Uber, not forgetting a post not so far above this one.
This was written because I felt it, it's not badly written and you know what actually I don't care, I'm falling in looove and he is lovely and real and everything. LOL
And he likes pork scratchings
---------
rowl!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fey, lovely Fey, how are we to ever be friends if you zero my post?
:(
You made my baby cry with your ugly zero.
Anyway, scourge and skrappy can fuck off, I can think of LOTS of overrated shite on Uber, not forgetting a post not so far above this one.
This was written because I felt it, it's not badly written and you know what actually I don't care, I'm falling in looove and he is lovely and real and everything. LOL
And he likes pork scratchings
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-04-13 14:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not so much, mm? No.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 13:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-11 13:15:25 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-11 06:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha i'm glad i don't feel this way about anyone.
Question for the ladies:
Why do you say sabotage-like shit in bed. eg: I brought a girl home last night who had overheard that, the night before, i had brought home someone else.
Just when we were getting "physical", she pulled away and mentioned that i probably just did this all the time with different girls like the girl from the night before blah blah blah.
What is the point of saying that? I paid the same meaningless lip service to her but it was COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIOUS TO EVEN A RETARD that this girl was no different to any other, and she KNEW it, i'm sure, so why did she try to get some "aww, but you're special" spiel out of me when i clearly don't fucking care at all.
Ladies?
Anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bfseWNmlds
--
She was probably madly in love with you and had been for a log time because she's been watching you from afar since like, For ever, and stuff, and this was the moment she'd been dreaming of all these years and, delusional as it may sound, she just wanted to hear the words come from your lips so that maybe, JUST MAYBE, once you said it, it would be true and, together, your love could be pure enough to make up for all of the bad things that have ever happened in her life and all of the other men who had hurt her because all of the choices that she had ever made had led her to YOU and to THIS MOMENT where you would show her how much she meant to you by gently and spiritually performing the physical act of love.
but you acted like a cunt so she's probably a suicidal crackwhore now.
Still... Any holes a goal and all that.
---------------------------
this was AWESOME spam
you cunt
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 13:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's just a word, and his heart is mine.
well, it might be if he gives up the whores and excessive drinking
lol
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-13 13:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Possessiveness in relationships scare me. To call anything yours, you must own it.
But if you fuck yourself with broom, record it for me...splinters and all :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-13 13:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-04-13 09:26:29 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
I threw up in my mouth reading this...
--------------------
BUT THIS WAS ABOUT US!
HOW COULD YOU?!
call me. lover
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-04-13 04:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I threw up in my mouth reading this...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-04-13 04:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yowza.
I am awake now :o)
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-04-12 14:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-11 07:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
However, girls who cry after sex are just psychotic. Avoid.
-----------------------------------------------
I cried after sex once, but it was because that single-tail whip hurts like a motherfucker.(Note: Don't let your lover watch "The Passion of the Christ" for bedroom tips. By the way, Happy Zombie Jesus Day!)
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-04-12 11:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-11 06:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha i'm glad i don't feel this way about anyone.
Question for the ladies:
Why do you say sabotage-like shit in bed. eg: I brought a girl home last night who had overheard that, the night before, i had brought home someone else.
Just when we were getting "physical", she pulled away and mentioned that i probably just did this all the time with different girls like the girl from the night before blah blah blah.
What is the point of saying that? I paid the same meaningless lip service to her but it was COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIOUS TO EVEN A RETARD that this girl was no different to any other, and she KNEW it, i'm sure, so why did she try to get some "aww, but you're special" spiel out of me when i clearly don't fucking care at all.
Ladies?
Anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bfseWNmlds
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Um, because they are dumb? Maybe you need a better class of slut. You know, the kind that is just out for a fuck and doesn't need to be "loved."
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-12 08:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spam, you're spot on. Fuck me, but that's a bulletproof reply.
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-04-11 15:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can see you grow harder as you move deeper into me.
okay clit eyes
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-11 08:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-11 06:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha i'm glad i don't feel this way about anyone.
Question for the ladies:
Why do you say sabotage-like shit in bed. eg: I brought a girl home last night who had overheard that, the night before, i had brought home someone else.
Just when we were getting "physical", she pulled away and mentioned that i probably just did this all the time with different girls like the girl from the night before blah blah blah.
What is the point of saying that? I paid the same meaningless lip service to her but it was COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIOUS TO EVEN A RETARD that this girl was no different to any other, and she KNEW it, i'm sure, so why did she try to get some "aww, but you're special" spiel out of me when i clearly don't fucking care at all.
Ladies?
Anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bfseWNmlds
--
She was probably madly in love with you and had been for a log time because she's been watching you from afar since like, For ever, and stuff, and this was the moment she'd been dreaming of all these years and, delusional as it may sound, she just wanted to hear the words come from your lips so that maybe, JUST MAYBE, once you said it, it would be true and, together, your love could be pure enough to make up for all of the bad things that have ever happened in her life and all of the other men who had hurt her because all of the choices that she had ever made had led her to YOU and to THIS MOMENT where you would show her how much she meant to you by gently and spiritually performing the physical act of love.
but you acted like a cunt so she's probably a suicidal crackwhore now.
Still... Any holes a goal and all that.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-11 07:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do you say sabotage-like shit in bed. eg: I brought a girl home last night who had overheard that, the night before, i had brought home someone else.
Just when we were getting "physical", she pulled away and mentioned that i probably just did this all the time with different girls like the girl from the night before blah blah blah.
---------------------------------
She is young and immature, that's all.
You quit shit like that when you get older.
However, girls who cry after sex are just psychotic. Avoid.
lol
My friend had a girlfriend who would cry after sex. She was fucking nuts.
Hell, what do I know. I'm a virgin :(
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-11 06:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha i'm glad i don't feel this way about anyone.
Question for the ladies:
Why do you say sabotage-like shit in bed. eg: I brought a girl home last night who had overheard that, the night before, i had brought home someone else.
Just when we were getting "physical", she pulled away and mentioned that i probably just did this all the time with different girls like the girl from the night before blah blah blah.
What is the point of saying that? I paid the same meaningless lip service to her but it was COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIOUS TO EVEN A RETARD that this girl was no different to any other, and she KNEW it, i'm sure, so why did she try to get some "aww, but you're special" spiel out of me when i clearly don't fucking care at all.
Ladies?
Anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bfseWNmlds
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-11 05:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 23:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO, sure ill take your girlfriend, ill pay pal you four dollars and send you one liter of mountain dew.
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Make it two liters of mountain dew, and you pay the shipping costs. (I still want the 4 dollars)
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
holy fucking overrated, uber.
----
strange, I think this is one of her best posts. Didn't cringe once.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
holy fucking overrated, uber.
-----
srsly
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
holy fucking overrated, uber.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was lovely.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-04-10 21:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone is setting herself up for a big disappointment. I can't wait for the "I always knew he was an asshole" post in 2 months.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-10 21:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-10 21:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very romantic. a little sappy. romance is supposed to be sappy.
================
Yep. Sappy = happy.
happysappy.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very romantic. a little sappy. romance is supposed to be sappy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So did mine... She was pretty much the best girlfriend ever, didn't mind if I was out all night drinking, and then would make me sandwiches... Funny as hell, a demon in the sack, and really intelligent.
Too bad she was bipolar and a fucking psycho too tho. She'd go off on tangents and be a total freak, and Id take her back. She'd clean out the medicine cabinet and then tell me she wasn't good enough for me, and I told her it would all be ok. I was going to move to be with her and she was so happy we'd live together. Then it wasn't a good idea for us to live together. Then I wasn't good enough for HER, because I told her she was fucking retarded for freaking out again.
I hadn't seen her in three weeks and she was pissed because I called her for a ride while she was hanging out with one of her friends. Then she dumped me.
I wasted a year of my life.
Sweet.
=================
Wow. It doesn't seem to matter if you're a good guy or an asshole. Some people are crazy one day and cool the next. Life kinda fucks with everyone, doesn't it? I've always wondered why people swing from one extreme to the other. Maybe it's the water.
Find another one.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO, sure ill take your girlfriend, ill pay pal you four dollars and send you one liter of mountain dew.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So did mine... She was pretty much the best girlfriend ever, didn't mind if I was out all night drinking, and then would make me sandwiches... Funny as hell, a demon in the sack, and really intelligent.
Too bad she was bipolar and a fucking psycho too tho. She'd go off on tangents and be a total freak, and Id take her back. She'd clean out the medicine cabinet and then tell me she wasn't good enough for me, and I told her it would all be ok. I was going to move to be with her and she was so happy we'd live together. Then it wasn't a good idea for us to live together. Then I wasn't good enough for HER, because I told her she was fucking retarded for freaking out again.
I hadn't seen her in three weeks and she was pissed because I called her for a ride while she was hanging out with one of her friends. Then she dumped me.
I wasted a year of my life.
Sweet.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 20:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-10 18:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My gf dumped me a week ago.
Fun times.
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Would you like mine? She cooks and cleans. Think about it.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-10 19:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spam needs to harden the fuck up. He's getting all soppy in his old age.
--
what the fuck does that mean?
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2009-04-10 18:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What, Whorephelia is no more? Uber will never be the same...me needs me some smutty comments *sob.*
The post was well written, +2.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-04-10 18:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh,to be in love
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-10 18:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My gf dumped me a week ago.
Fun times.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-04-10 18:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lovely and fecking scary at the same time :-)
Be cool..
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
email me <3
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad btw +1.5
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spam needs to harden the fuck up. He's getting all soppy in his old age.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, a yes could get you a +2, but one side effect of that could be stalking.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
???? British thermostats must be designed to lower the population. Over here they normally operate on 12 volts, which you won't Pheil... <----- heh
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:27:30 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we going to plow, or what?
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I don't know what that means.
:(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-10 22:16:22 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be polite and not break your streak, but holy shit. Are you trying to write Romance Novels now? Sheesh!
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Thanks for your politeness, to be honest I have written far more romantic filth for Uber I just wrote this for me.
I am exceptionally happy. It even warms my feet.
oooh, that reminds me I took the cover off the thermostat earlier to try and fix it and a screw gave me a terrible electric shock. It burned my finger and made my arm numb and weak (even now)
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we going to plow, or what?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-10 17:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be polite and not break your streak, but holy shit. Are you trying to write Romance Novels now? Sheesh!
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 16:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, EI's here. Let's move along now before he tards the place up.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-10 15:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I already know I can't be without you. Already I am dreading goodbye."
Interesting.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-10 15:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-10 15:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
an uber gay in! minus me, of course. oh airlines on, my favourite.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's a medical condition, and I thought we were passed all this prejudice!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sandy doesn't have fingers, he is digitless, he uses a pole stuck to his head.
Poor fingerless sandy
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
like a doughnut?
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V
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are all jealous I have met a real man!!
lol.
My face aches from smiling. SMILING. Nothing else.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and Tates too
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha goose egg
oops.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to offset sgts fat fingers
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ASSHOLE
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Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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ASSHOLE
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol
I hates you
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK FUCK FUCKING SCROLLWHEEL FUCK FUCK
IM sorry hon.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone else notice the heavy use of "Fall" or "Fallen" in this post?
coincidence, I dont think so.
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HAH
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone else notice the heavy use of "Fall" or "Fallen" in this post?
coincidence, I dont think so.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well then- I'm dissapointed.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I met this rugged black guy in Boots. He was in the hair products section.
I always new I prefered black.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, well, I am totally smitten.
SO MUCH SO I QUIT AS WHORPHELIA.
From now on no more smutty comments.
I am pure!!
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my. What's the story behind this?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im turned on
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-10 14:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber was fine when I tried to post this earlier this morning but when I hit submit, it went down.
I think my post broke Uber.
Ban me.