jesus and the chocolate egg! (349 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.5 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by makizer (View user info) at 2009-04-12 04:30:24 EDT
I'm in a crap mood! Its Easter today and I'm stuck in work. It's not like am an elite bible basher but being christened as a catholic when I couldn't even walk or talklet alone be dunked in a miniature holy hot tub should at least give me a day off on all the holy holidays.
Now I'm not complaining about the job as all I do all day is sit at my desk on internet all day (the joys of being a marketing "apprentice")but I really don't understand these crazy Muslim countries.
The locals (terrorists and ninja's) get so many bloody holidays for random stuff that all private work sectors miss out on I'm really pondering whether or not I should become a terrorists driver or something so I can wiggle my way into the crazy amounts of holidays they get!
The random holidays brings me to the point I was getting at..... being a catholic and living in this country is the reason I am inevitably going to hell when I die!
There are many reasons I can think of that would lead me to ending up in hell but the one that comes to mind is waking up wishing that one of the sheiks
(sheikh i.e. royal arab not a chocolate shake for all you's that dont know but i guess chocolate shake would work too) would kick his boots and... To put it bluntly die.
This isn't because I hate them its because everyone in the country gets a ridiculously long immediate holiday as soon one of them bites the dust.
So basically my point is I'm screwed because as I woke up on this holy day, the day that "Jesus gave his life for our sins" I woke up wishing that one of the royal terrorists had died just to get a week of work to chill in and chomp on Easter eggs.
(Wtf is with Easter eggs by the way I mean what does a chocolate egg have to do with a jesoos?)
Pah fuck it who cares I'm a non believing catholic so all I've gotta do is repent for like 5 years when I'm eighty and I'll be sorted either way hell or no hell!
Anyway Happy Easter Uber have a happy fucking holiday! I know I won't!
OH and PS FUCK THIS STUPID TEXT BOX FORMATTTING!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2009-04-13 16:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-13 12:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 usage of the word "ninja"
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-12 16:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-04-12 14:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2009-04-12 13:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What part of Canada do you live in?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-12 09:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no pun intended.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-12 08:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Most of the Christian holy days are pagan legacies. That's the only way the early christians could get the pagan majority to co-celebrate.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-12 05:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"One of things I wanted to do in American Gods was remind people about where some of these things come from. One of my favorite sequences to write was when we meet Easter; you get this whole conversation in a San Francisco coffee house about the origin of the word. And I love that, the fact that Easter is somebody's name. Easter is a slight modernization of Eostre of the Dawn. She's the one you get the estrous cycle from. She was a fertility goddess whose high feast was at planting time in the Spring. She was worshipped with symbols of fertility--eggs chiefly, and rabbits, and flowers, and couples going off and copulating, and so on and so forth. All that stuff was completely subsumed which is why you get people today making jokes about whether the Easter bunny was crucified. I love that. This is something old that overlays something else. You had better be aware when you're getting your Easter eggs and doing your Easter hunt that this is for Easter, she was Eostre of the Dawn."
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-12 04:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ignorance FTW