Daddy (1028 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.56 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2009-04-17 15:05:14 EDT
My father spoke to me last night, right in my own living room. Not a big deal, you say? No, unless you take into account that he died in May of 1970. I saw him sitting in the chair across from the television, just staring at me. I was too shocked to say a word.
"Hello, Bobby. I see you've made a complete mess of your life, just like I always said you would."
"Um, Sir, you're not here. You've been dead for a long time."
"Oh, I'm not here? I'm in Cincinnati, maybe? You see me and hear me, you dumb ass!"
"But Dad I.."
"SHUT UP! You always started with 'but Dad I'. Get a new fucking line."
Tears came to my eyes as always. He had a way of doing that to me.
"Bobby, you were always good in school, and you did a great job in life, raising a good bunch of kids and taking care of your mother. There is one problem, however."
"What did I do now, Dad?"
"Stop sniveling, you little shit. I hate when you do that. OK, here's the thing. You have a very nice wife, a reasonable income, and a fantastic bunch of grandchildren. But what do you do? You fritter away your free time on that fucking computer. Yes, I know it is sort of addictive, but let me clue you in to the big issue: That website you keep going to is filled with people who never tell the truth and they are all pretty stupid, at best. Why waste your time there?"
I had no valid response, and Dad just sort of faded away.
User Reviews
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-05 17:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-30 19:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Freakin puters...
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-23 01:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-22 12:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Bubba,
Things are great. Crazy busy, but lots of fun things going on. Kid is pure awesome.
Hope all is well with you and the family. Happy Birthday coming up.
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-04-21 23:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you could almost be my grandpa
but age is relative
:)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-21 00:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-04-20 19:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how old are you?
================
Now, that isn't a polite question, is it.
:)
Six months from now I will be 60. That's fucking old, huh?
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-04-20 19:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how old are you?
Submitted by madisonlouis (user info) at 2009-04-20 10:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-04-20 10:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I love it when you call me big pop-pa"
Throw your hands in the air, if youse a true player
"I love it when you call me big pop-pa"
To the honies gettin money playin niggaz like dummies
"I love it when you call me big pop-pa"
If you got a gun up in your waist please don't shoot up the place (why?)
Cause I see some ladies tonight who should be havin my baby; bay-bee
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-19 03:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I'll go along with that. Bubbalicious, your dad has looked upon your wicked ways and found them to be degenerate, disgusting & weak. He told me so himself. Now go join your Dad asap. Really. Die & decrease the surplus population.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2009-04-19 03:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe you should respect your father's wishes and leave the intraweb for good.
Submitted by MitchTheComic (user info) at 2009-04-18 22:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't read this. If you do you will be visited by the ghost of your own father. To prevent that from happening you must forward this to 20 friends.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-18 20:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
True paranoia below. you must really have been humbled by whomever you attribute me to be the alter of. Learn to take humility like medicine - one bitter swallow at a time.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-18 19:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-16 23:15:28 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
This is Sfagnum's latest alter!
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-18 18:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You structure your sentences rather less well than a diarrhetic sloppy drunk in a rush to the porcelain goddess. Your vocabulary bears the indelible signs of a hasty attempt at 3rd form education. Your penchant for copying entire posts of other users bespeaks a man sadly wanting in an imagination. Your posts, assuming they are in fact authored by whatever passes for you, are so poorly redacted & so wanting in content that one wanders if the reason for your utter brainlessness is that you've subdivided your paucity of gray matter between too many alters , or , the more likely reason, that you've been skullfucked by an extraordinarily well endowed man. In any event, If you've ever HAD any brains, they've gone on to a better place then the festering dungpit you please to call your head.
P.s.pathetic, Bubbablicious. Straw man compounded with adhominem, claims to being vox populi & you still couldn't ..... your way out of a wet paper bag. Die already & decreasy the surplus population. B
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-04-18 17:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
actually most people who frequent this sight are above average intelligence.
How's being a wal-mart greeter going?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-18 17:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-18 17:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, if your definition of "MOST" is you. Don't count your alters 'till they've hatched. yeou're a tit.
============
See my point, cockboy? You can't spell OR type. Stop trying to add to what I say. I told you about the Strawman bullshit, but you continue. Others here see your pathetic attempts to change the subject, and they know you for the fool you are. Give up, little boy, you are outclassed.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-18 17:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, if your definition of "MOST" is you. Don't count your alters 'till they've hatched. yeou're a tit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-18 17:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Johnny B Asshole, most disagree with you. Mostly because you are an idiot.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-18 16:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your writing blows, Buboe.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-04-18 15:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-18 11:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2009-04-18 10:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bleh at best. And to be honest you're a bit lucky to get that.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-17 22:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-17 17:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was quite good... and all too true.
I liked the image too.
Now I'll take a poo.
It's half past two.
WHOOP DE FUCKING DOO.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-17 17:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna see my dad in 1 month.
I'm Canada-bound!
Nothing but the lake, BBQ, and beer.
The perfect way to decompress.
No Frenchies up there either.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-17 16:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
two in one day bub?
NOOB
==========
oops!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been outta town. What'd I miss?
I liked this, Bubba. My dad shot down my dreams of pitching for the Reds, but besides that, he's okay. Oh yeah, he left the family, too, in 1980, but he's alright. He never responds to emails either. He had a large portion of his colon taken out.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should listen to your father and stop coming here.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You will be visited by two more ghosts before the weekend is over. That's just the way these things work.
Be sure to report what they have to say.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Crap.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever linked that article on the uberboard is a complete moron along with the article author, Todd Harrison. What a stupid piece of shit this guy is. If guns are banned that would include selling them or their ammo on the open market, rendering the "militia stockpile" useless...and we're not going to get into speculation about utilizing the black market. The steamy bullshit that this piece of shit presented us with is people stupid enough to load up on this stock in the hopes of making a killing only after the initial boom this stock sees it will bust.
Why? If these guns are banned manufactures like Smith and Wesson, Reuger, etc. will stop making the money and the profits they see will dwindle significantly and the hyperinflation that was raked on will leave believers with a pile of pennies.
Americans can be so fucking stupid sometimes.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your dad's an asshole.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
two in one day bub?
NOOB
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-17 15:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa! Ghosts know about ubersite, people! This is a fucking wake up call for everyone!
SOUND THE HORN!