Daddy (457 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2344 (View user info) at 2009-04-17 16:03:51 EDT
My father spoke to me last night, right in my own living room. Not a big deal, you say? No, unless you take into account that he died in May of 1970. I saw him sitting in the chair across from the television, just staring at me. I was too shocked to say a word.
"Hello, Bobby. I see you've made a complete mess of your life, just like I always said you would."
"Um, Sir, you're not here. You've been dead for a long time."
"Oh, I'm not here? I'm in Cincinnati, maybe? You see me and hear me, you dumb ass!"
"But Dad I.."
"SHUT UP! You always started with 'but Dad I'. You bore me everytime you open your mouth."
Tears came to my eyes as always. He had a way of doing that to me.
"Bobby, you were always a failure in school, and you did a terrible job in life, raping a good bunch of kids and foddling your mother. There is one more problem, however."
"What did I do now, Dad?"
"Stop sniveling, you little shit. I hate when you do that. OK, here's the thing. You have a very toothless wife, a tax-payer subsidised income, and a fantastic record of molesting a bunch of grandchildren. But what do you do? You fritter away your free time on that fucking computer. Yes, I know it is the only sort of imagined recognition you get in your meaningless, but let me clue you in to the big issue: That website you keep going to is filled with people who appreiciate humour and they are all pretty clever and creative, at worst. Why go and inflict them with your unfunny anti-wit 24/7 you fucking worthless piece of shit?"
I had no valid response, and Dad just sort of faded away.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121900
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-24 13:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-08-24 12:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-23 15:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I am hot.
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No you aren't. Now off you go, get back under your bridge.
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I said 'like vomit'.
Don't try torment me with half a comment, bucko.
:)
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-19 17:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wow
I did not realize you were he and he was you.
Interesting.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-18 17:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who won the Daddy contest, Fuckface?? HUH?????
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-17 22:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-04-17 19:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a cut out of the Hulk looking out my window.
No one ever wrote about it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-04-17 18:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-17 18:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to plop out a fail patty.
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hahahahaha
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-17 18:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to plop out a fail patty.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-04-17 18:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-17 17:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get a life.
Submitted by TLawrence (user info) at 2009-04-17 16:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-17 16:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"foddling'
"meaningless"
At least I can write, you fucked up retard.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-17 16:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit post friday.