How Christian Bale ruined my life . . . (362 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.5 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bad Company <badcompany231.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2009-04-22 17:00:27 EDT
THE FIRST ENCOUNTER:
It was sometime in July of the year 2005 that I had my first, of many, encounters with Christian Bale. Most people would probably recognize Christian Bale as Batman, from the movie Batman Begins of that same year. As a big fan of Batman, and most Christian Bale movies, I was floored when I noticed Christian Bale in my local grocery store. This was pretty much the biggest celebrity I had ever witnessed in the Podunk town of Ohio I had been calling my home for the previous 16 years.
As I was jogging over to Christian Bale I exclaimed, "Hey Christian! Can I get an autograph?" Christian Bale quickly turned his head to catch my gaze as he raised the hood from his sweatshirt onto his head. I was about six feet away from Christian Bale when he caught me off guard with a sweep kick to the back of my ankles. As my body was falling to the ground Christian Bale unleashed a lightning quick double-fisted hammer punch to my stomach, hurtling my body to the ground like a baby grand piano off of a fifteen story rooftop. My head hit the tile floor with such force it cracked the tiles. Blood from my head traced the cracks in the tile.
As I lay wheezing, bleeding, and dizzy on the floor Christian Bale peered at me unapologetically and snarled, "Stealing is a crime and my name . . . is BATMAN!" Before he vanished into another aisle like a ninja he reached into my pocket and removed the pack of spearmint Orbit gum I had pocketed earlier. He carefully removed the plastic wrapper, removed a piece, and tossed the pack onto my bruised and sore stomach.
User Reviews
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-23 00:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This had promise, but failed.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-04-22 23:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Die
Submitted by Mr.Plecko (user info) at 2009-04-22 21:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
GAY
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-22 18:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hilarious
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-22 18:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for all eternity
Submitted by BadCompany (user info) at 2009-04-22 17:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
F-? It is a true story.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-04-22 17:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-22 17:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
F-
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-04-22 17:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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[None] How Christian Bale ruined my life . . . (no reviews)
Submitted by Bad Company <badcompany231.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2009-04-22 22:00:27 BST
Everything you ever wanted to know about BadCompany
User id: 35503
Registered on or around: 2009-04-21 20:44:20 BST
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eh? uberserver be slow today...