Semi Double Teamed (1097 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.84 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Replen (View user info) at 2009-05-09 12:11:08 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/122115
The above post reminded me of one the most ironically uncomfortable moments of my life.
I have to take a First Capital Connect train to work. FCC is the absolute pinnacle of shit when it comes to train travel. The word 'overcrowded' or phrase 'sardines in a can' don't do justice to the horrific torture I have to put up with on a daily basis just to get to work.
This particular Thursday was ridiculous. The carriage was the most packed I've ever experienced; tighter than nun's cunt. I was standing sideways by the doors with a random bloke facing me. We were so close without actually touching that you couldn't have fitted a piece of paper in between our fronts.
The train pulls in at the second-to-last station before it terminates and there's just one girl wearing a thin summer dress waiting on the platform at the door I'm standing near. This girl, fucking hell, fit as you fucking like it with a body so fine that you'd like to spend the rest of existence destroying it with your dick. As Frank Drebin would put it:
"She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man!"
Still, the train was fucking rammo and there wasn't room for one more, not even a hotty like her. The girl had other ideas however and opened the doors and started to assess how she could squeeze in. No chance, sunshine. She seemed to agree and as the doors started to beep, beep, beep, she took a step back. Wise move, I thought. But no, I was mistaken. She took a deep breath and then flung herself forwards and sideways with amazing speed, forcing herself in between myself and the guy in front of me just as the doors shut.
It was so tight that there was full body contact between myself and the fit girl. I couldn't see anything as I had a face full of hair. I could feel her breathing as her body moved up and down ever so slightly causing me to become very aware of my dick. And this where the train journey from hell started.
We were so close my knob was resting between her arse cheeks, like, really in there, I could feel both sides with my dick, and she definitely knew that this was the situation as well. I was wishing she would stop breathing because the rhythmic nature of it was coaxing my knob ever so gently and sending blood to one place I didn't need it right now. I started to panic.
I was screaming to myself on the inside "don't get hard, don't get hard". I was desperately thinking unsexy thoughts - '13 cabbages x 15 cabbages is...', imagining scoring the winning goal in the cup final, trying to remember what I had for lunch last Tuesday. Balls to Guantanamo Bay, this was proper fucking torture - I had my dick between the arse cheeks of a gorgeous girl and against almost every fibre of my being I was concentrating on keeping it floppy!
Someone cracks a window and a quick breeze whips through the carriage causing the fit girls hair to rub across my nose, making me want to sneeze. This is all I need. I can't huff it all over the back of her head and it way to squished for me to move my hand to my mouth. The sneeze comes and I contain it by kind of holding my breath. This has the unhappy side effect of causing my body to internally seize and send, not and lot, but some, blood to my dick. It's moved to somewhere between flaccid and a semi.
Or maybe a bit closer to semi than I thought because the fit girl tensed up, which made it worse because her arse cheeks tightened. No amount of cabbage counting or visualising gay porn was going to help now, my dick was about to get very, very hard.
Desperately, I looked up to heavens for help. Surprisingly, it arrived, as during this prolonged fit of panic I had not noticed that the train had now pulled into Blackfriars station just as I was feeling the familiar rush of blood.
Before the train doors had even fully opened the fit girl jumped out and proceeded towards the exit at warp speed. With the fit girl out the way I caught the eye of the bloke who was originally in front of me. He had a look of guilt about him and then it clicked in my mind. Whilst my dick was nestled in amongst her arse cheeks, he would have been struggling with a similar problem as her ample and pert tits would have been pressed firmly against his chest. And he would have been facing her. It was fucking shit for me, but small mercy, at least I wasn't him.
As we both stepped off the train onto the platform I could clearly see by the front of his trousers that this guy was carrying a textbook semi. Seeing this thankfully killed my own blood rush in an instant and I was able move normally toward the exit and not do that ugly, hunched over, boner hiding walk that the other guy was currently sporting.
The train journey from hell was over.
I can't begin to imagine what the fit girl thought during that train journey. I don't expect she woke up that morning expecting to be simultaneously prodded with dicks in the front and back on her train journey to work. Something tells me that the next time a packed train rolls in she'll wait for the next one.
As for me, I proper knocked one out that night.
User Reviews
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-06-07 03:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best post ever. i want my dick between a girl's ass cheeks.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-06-06 16:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Splendid.
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-06-06 15:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-05-17 14:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-11 11:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
should have yelled that it wasn't her stop, see if you could have confused her into staying on a bit longer.
then you'd have to deal with an unseemly wet spot, of course.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-11 10:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have loads of awkward bonor stories.
I studied 'French for the office' when I was at college, a sideline course to tide me over. I sat next to this hot black girl, during the lesson she rested her hand on my thigh and rubbed up and down. I got a bonor and then the lesson ended. so i just sat there for 5 minutes, wanting to go after this girl but physically unable so i stayed sat down , with a bonor. Just me and the teacher. I thought about boning her, but she was 50 and gross. It went down and I left.
THE END
happy days
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-11 10:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A W E S O M E
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-11 09:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely marvelous. Despite your embarrassment, I'd still have loved to have been in your position at that moment.
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-05-10 14:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-10 09:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-10 07:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate the train, I catch one most mornings and that is fine because the morning one isn't as packed. The late afternoon one gets packed as though, I had squeezed in one afternoon and was squished between two men not touching but uncomfortable distance between us. My bag dropped off my shoulder and I couldn't really bend to pick it up so I had to slide/ crouch down to the floor to pick it up. Just as I was dick level with the guy in front the train comes to a stop and I get a face full of penis slammed into my head. I laughed, he went red.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2009-05-10 03:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-10 02:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-05-09 18:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWK WAAAARD
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-10 02:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
Submitted by Baxter (user info) at 2009-05-09 23:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ahhh, the joys of public transport.
Submitted by TLawrence (user info) at 2009-05-09 19:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dance, puppet, dance!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-05-09 19:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a great post. The asshole below, ~~~lawrence, needs his fat ass stomped into the mud.
Submitted by TLawrence (user info) at 2009-05-09 18:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-05-09 18:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWK WAAAARD
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-05-09 17:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
www.awkwardboners.com
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-05-09 14:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-05-09 12:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe she liked it. Who can say?
____
I've had the old dickintheback on the tube. there is something about the rythmic rocking of the trains that seem to give guys a hard (I just died inside at that pun) time. I can't say I liked it, but I always feel sorry for who ever the unfortunate is, that is until one day the guy started to rub...
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-05-09 13:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she loved it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-05-09 12:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe she liked it. Who can say?
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-05-09 12:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe