How long is too long? (550 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.94 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lostnphound (View user info) at 2009-05-15 00:36:30 EDT
It's been awhile since I've posted. Too long? Not long enough? -2 die <--- does that still happen here? I feel so out of the loop since I got a life and lost it again.
Weaksauce.
An earlier conversation sparked thoughts around things I'd rather not see happen to me in my life if at all possible. Of course the the below list does not reflect my statements from this evening with the people I pay to be my friends. I'd hate to come across as creepy when I'm paying for it.
My top 10 things that I hope to fuck never happen to me:
10. I hope I never eat my own face.
9. I hope I'm never forced to engage in prison sex. For most men that's enough said, yet I feel the need to elaborate. A man's dick in another man's mouth/ass is gay...end of story...unless there's a condom and no giggling.
8. I hope I never become so stupid that my idle thoughts revolve around things like, "does ice cream dream?", "are toasters made or born?", "what's HE doing in my bed?"
7. I hope I never enjoy playing in a Hootie and the Blowfish cover band.
6. I hope I never start to think that football and hockey are retarded and invest my time in interior design, criticizing men's fashion, and meat gazing.
5. I hope that all the charities I've consumed alcohol for don't have to drink to "cure" my cirrhosis. I'm a giver.
4. I hope I never find myself wearing ass-less chaps, unless on purpose.
3. I hope I'm never attacked by a bear that knows I playing dead.
2. I hope I don't get curb stomped like that guy in American History X.
1. I hope I don't hit "submit" on this post. Alright, we can all have this one.
User Reviews
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-05-20 13:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOING!
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-05-18 21:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1. I hope I don't hit "submit" on this post. Alright, we can all have this one.
I thunb wrestle myself before posting, I usually lose.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2009-05-16 14:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Opinion from the first five sentences in:
1) +2 because I can relate. It's been a while.
2) +2 for "Weaksauce". I don't know how it spread, but my buddy J5 totally started the "sauce" phenomenon like 10 years ago. I guarantee it.
PS: J5 was J5 over 20 years ago, long before Jurassic Five. His name is James, and he's the fifth in his generation to have the same name. His grandparents were calling him J5 before he was even born. Jurassic Five are ripoff artists (who make extremely amazing and awesome music, whether you know that fact or not).
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-05-16 02:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aim high.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-15 21:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-15 07:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-15 07:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the picture. I kinda skimmed through the rest... but have a +1 anyhow.
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2009-05-15 05:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just for the record, i challenge you to find a pair of chaps that AREN'T arseless.
Submitted by bromide (user info) at 2009-05-15 05:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you trying to tell us you're gay?
Cos that's ok...
poof
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-05-15 05:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I get the impression that you're worried about possibly becoming gay. Stop worrying. If it turns out that you get a vigorous rectum reaming or tonsil-swabbing on a twice-daily basis, then you may rest assured that it would not be that way unless it's in God's plan. Hosanna.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-05-15 05:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First post I've clicked on today with content.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-15 05:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2009-05-15 04:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
LET HER CRYYYYYYYYYYYY
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-15 04:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How long is too long?
Ask yer mum ;-)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-15 04:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hootie and the blowfish makes me think of friends, when it was really shit, before it got only slightly shit. for that reason I have never listened to them.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-15 02:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww reading Hootie and the Blowfish makes me sad...
But this isn't about me, it's about you!!
I'd say what a fantastic come back post... But I'd be lying!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-15 02:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DUUUUDE! I so owe you like a million emails!!
Hey!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-15 02:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So playing in a Hootie and the Blowfish cover band is ok just so long as you resent it?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-05-15 00:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
gaaaah.