Knock me up! Win a prize! (638 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.17 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Squirrelly Girl (View user info) at 2009-05-20 20:27:00 EDT
I want to have a baby. My husband thinks that, at this time, trying is not "the best option".
I say fuck that.
So I have decided to bypass him and go straight for the greatest source of cynically-induced sperms on the interwebs: Uber!
We can do this 1 of 2 ways:
1: You can fly to NY and inject me with your swimmy-fishy-gooey-goodness the old fashioned way
or
2: You can extract the little knuckle-children yourself and ship them to me in an approved container (either a sterilized sealed cup or Orphelia's mouth*)
Your choice.
Now get to 'batin! I wants me a baby.
*If the OMM (Orphelia Mouth Method) is your chosen mode of transport be advised that it can not be guaranteed that your sperm will be the one to impregnate me since there will probably be multiple shipments being made this way simultaneously.
User Reviews
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-05-23 15:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-05-21 14:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So you'd let Orphelia spit cum in your cunt?
Heh.
---------------------
Let? Do you have any idea how hard it would be to try and STOP her?
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber law states I must +2 this but I really don't see how it is funny in the slightest.
Who are you again?
Aren't you that chick that died of cancer?
--------------
Not yet... working on it.
I <3 Orphelia
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
P.S. Sage, East Bound & Down is probably one of my favorite shows ever.
Kenny Powers: The amount of money I'm gonna be making will hurt your parents' feelings.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for picture and text.
+2 for reference to Derrick Comedy video.
+100 for making me actually laugh out loud a little.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-05-21 14:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Stupid slut: What's a dental dam?
Kenny Powers: It's like a rubber for your mouth. And it ain't just for my protection, you don't know what kind of shit I got either.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-05-21 14:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So you'd let Orphelia spit cum in your cunt?
Heh.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a six year old girl who got into her mother's makeup box for the first time.
--------------------------------
You must either be really new or really retarded if you don't recognize perhaps THE most recognizable person on Ubersite.
--------------------------------
Bart?
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McBain?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-21 09:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I very much want to get a hummer by orphelia. Count me in.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dantangel (user info) at 2009-05-20 21:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Tangel has sperm for you
============================
The Tangel has sperm for all of us, its called his posts.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-21 04:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you thought about getting a puppy?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-21 04:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why doesn't your husband want kids? I'd have thought he'd be super keen on the idea.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-21 00:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chemo people can't have babies.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a six year old girl who got into her mother's makeup box for the first time.
--------------------------------
You must either be really new or really retarded if you don't recognize perhaps THE most recognizable person on Ubersite.
--------------------------------
Bart?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw now I feel mean. And dirty.
Submitted by HeyJude (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber law states I must +2 this but I really don't see how it is funny in the slightest.
Who are you again?
Aren't you that chick that died of cancer?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-05-20 23:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<fight club reference>
Alright Chloe(sp?).
</fight club reference>
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be inside you.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a six year old girl who got into her mother's makeup box for the first time.
--------------------------------
You must either be really new or really retarded if you don't recognize perhaps THE most recognizable person on Ubersite.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-05-20 22:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a six year old girl who got into her mother's makeup box for the first time.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-05-20 21:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your husband probably saw "Fight Club".
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-05-20 21:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll bang you. I love the Orphy bash. It's delightfully funny, and completely true.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-05-20 21:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it okay if I'm sterile? Do I still get to try?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-20 21:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Luck!
If all else fails I will bring you some spermies.
I'll just store it in my vag for the trip....same as a refrigerator :)
P.s. it's my bedtime...goodnight
Submitted by dantangel (user info) at 2009-05-20 21:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Tangel has sperm for you
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-05-20 20:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You genuinely frighten people. How can you expect them to get it up?