One of those days (506 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.5 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bustedcompass (View user info) at 2009-05-25 19:22:54 EDT
Once there was a man named Fred. Fred had a great job with a great salary; a beautiful wife who loved him and showed that love regularly; two wonderful children who were away at college and doing great; fancy cars; a lovely house; and so on. He had everything and he was very happy.
One day at the office, Fred got a phone call from the State Police. His wife had been killed in a car accident. He was devastated but dutifully called his children to let them know what had happened to their mother. Then he made their flight arrangements to return home for the memorial service.
The next day, as he was making the funeral arrangements, Fred's cell phone went off. It was his travel agent. The plane his children were on had crashed shortly after takeoff. There were no survivors.
Fred was crushed. He limped through the funeral services for his wife and his children, but as he tried to return to his job he found he couldn't function. His productivity dropped off. His employer tried to help him out by moving him to positions with less responsibility, but Fred just couldn't keep it going. Finally he lost his job and had to give up his beautiful home and cars.
Fred became homeless, living under a bridge. He developed a disease where he was covered with horrific boils all over his body. He stank. Nobody could stand to be near him. He became a vagabond, traveling from place to place, living in shelters or just sleeping by the side of the road.
Once night, as he walked along some railroad tracks, Fred looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful night, crisp, clear, full of stars. It was perfect. For a very brief moment he had a moment of peace, of serenity. Then the reality of his situation washed over him. In despair he looked up at the sky, raised his hands and said "Why me, God? What have I done to deserve this?"
There was a sudden clap of thunder, a flash of lightning, and a voice from above said "Fred . . . there's something about you that just pisses me off."
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-02 10:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pow! Right in the kisser!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-06-02 09:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Redskins fans!
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-05-31 19:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fred = Job ?
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-05-26 15:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-05-26 14:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...Pauly Shore.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:19:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-05-25 23:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The oldest thing about Doodles is the dirt in his ears.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-05-25 23:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Y HALO THAR OLD STORY!
Submitted by sinwithin (user info) at 2009-05-25 23:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Like the crackling of thorns under the pot, so is the laughter of fools. This too is meaningless."
-Ecclesiastes 7:6
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-25 22:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fred needs a hug
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-05-25 22:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This story is at least twice as old as you, but it's always funny.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-05-25 22:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
God is so 10 years old. Sends bears to devour children for making fun of His prophet's baldness. Weak.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-05-25 19:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!!!!