20 Economic Models Explained (321 hits)
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Submitted by Hey Jude (View user info) at 2009-05-26 10:40:04 EDT
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-05-26 13:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EMAIL FORWARDS ARE THE BACKBONE OF UBER.
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IDK why, but that sent me into hysterics. Now my co-workers KNOW I'm insane.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2009-05-26 12:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to 1994.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2009-05-26 12:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mr. Asshole says:
Got enough crayons in your bonce yet?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EMAIL FORWARDS ARE THE BACKBONE OF UBER.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck Off
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot the part where I'll die if I don't pass it on to 10 friends.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-05-26 11:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
UBERSITE
You have -2 cows.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEY LOOK, AN EMAIL FWD!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
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HAHA
I dont care if this is an e-mail forward.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coleslawesome.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both produce guinness instead of milk.
Well they don't but we're too drunk ourselves to notice..
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
made me chuckle
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA who has this account now?
never mind email forward, this was posted months ago anyway.
nice one
And thanks
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
one email forward used as a post rated
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How with the times.
I look forward to your review of the new Pulp Fiction film next
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-05-26 10:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
email fwd.