Santa in 2012: A Possible Cause for Armageddon (1171 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.45 on 96 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I_Shit_Liquid_Existence (View user info) at 2009-05-27 03:07:58 EDT
In the year 2012, on a cold winter evening, Santa Claus was taking the day off, as he had all year... Armageddon was neigh, as the calendars of the Mayan and the Chinese and some other douche bags said it would be many thousands of years ago. Asteroids were about to make near collisions with earth. Super volcanoes were threatening detonation. And pollution was on the verge of causing massive changes to global weather patterns to near unlivable conditions.
Santa Claus sat beneath a beach umbrella on the pile of sand he had imported from Florida and wiped the heavy beads of sweat from his chubby chompsky homp face, and as he baked in the eighty degree weather, he said to the guy working the grill, "Make sure you get a real nice char pattern on Blitzen. I like a real good char grilled deer, but HO HO HO SO help me God if you fuck it up."
For Santa Claus knew that 2011 saw earth's last Christmas - that he could take the whole year off was obvious. And it was his first vacation since that asshole that started this business of psychopathic gift giving died and got exploited by the Roman Catholic Church (and indeed, these are the opinions of Santa Claus, and not this narrator, or this author). Yet Comrade Claus, though vacationing, couldn't help but feel a little bummed out that the world was going to end as soon as Satan's seven angels blew their trumpets to signal that some serious shit was about to go down. So cooking his reign deer was like a really fucked up coping mechanism for him - such a demented and disturbed individual, and some even say murderer, doesn't belong on the streets, to wander the North Pole like some sort of troll who was once king but, seeing his kingdom crash around him, sunk into the deepest depths of insanity, where the blackest demons are permitted to exist so long as they don't feed on the time of our consciousness, which can be brought to the foreground in the form of mental shelter but becomes a prison as the night darkens.
A black car pulled up at the North Pole's drive way and three men in black suits and dark sunglasses piled out. Elves approached them and demanded identification but the men just pulled out small pistols and demanded to see Santa Claus. Some Elves attempted to alert the boss so he could escape and the agents (of the FBI) fired (Headline in tomorrows paper: TEN SNIPERS TAKE OUT TEN ELVES WITH TEN BULLETS, (consider recent Somali pirate incidents)). I mean, Santa was hiding like Saddam Hussein in his ice bunker, and escaped many air strikes and raids, but they found the fat bastard that time. After he bolted from the barbeque, they found him cowering in a small cave underneath his artificial beach, which was encased by a melting iceberg. Water had seeped in from the walls and by the time the agents of the United States government finally found him, all that was left for them was the opportunity to witness a childhood legend's final hairy belly jiggle death throws. His whale like blubber layer could not save him, and without Santa Claus, there can be no Christmas, and thus, no world, and Armageddon began the very next day.
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-30 05:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking lol
nearly one hundred reviews
oh hahaha
I have to go and build a swing set now, what can I say, t was fun.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-05-29 01:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2009-05-29 01:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ChristPuncher <Cr3do2000> at 2003-09-26 15:40:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
God damn you, you illiterate Jackass
Don't you know what a paragraph is.
I mean, a constant block of crap not only hurts the eyes, it angers the soul.
You sir, are a jackass for not formatting this thing you obviously spent at least 15 minutes on.
What would the pope say if he read it, he would most likely condemn you to hell on account that you do not know what a paragraph is, and type poorly
YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2009-05-29 01:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ChristPuncher <Cr3do2000> at 2003-09-26 15:40:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
God damn you, you illiterate Jackass
Don't you know what a paragraph is.
I mean, a constant block of crap not only hurts the eyes, it angers the soul.
You sir, are a jackass for not formatting this thing you obviously spent at least 15 minutes on.
What would the pope say if he read it, he would most likely condemn you to hell on account that you do not know what a paragraph is, and type poorly
YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-29 00:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rowsdower (user info) at 2009-05-28 01:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Cool idea
Until you say that without christmas, there is no world
fuck that shit
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yeah, the ending was retarded. My brother and I were having a retarded writing contest and time ran out
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-05-29 00:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Santa is not real.
The spirit of giving is real...
Submitted by THERAPlST (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-28 08:30:34 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.alephconsulting.org/images/newsletter/enter_Key01.jpg
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Agreed
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-28 11:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.alephconsulting.org/images/newsletter/enter_Key01.jpg
Submitted by Rowsdower (user info) at 2009-05-28 01:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Cool idea
Until you say that without christmas, there is no world
fuck that shit
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-05-28 00:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-27 19:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Timely.
Submitted by bustedcompass (user info) at 2009-05-27 19:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Intention = +2
Execution = -2
Average = 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-27 16:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One day I'm going to do a post entitled "Big Fucking Block of Alphabetical Composition."
It'll be awesome, because it will be exactly what it says it will be, and the world will become a better place, before unicorns jump out of Wilford Brimley's asshole and begin dancing the Macarena to good German techno music, and shitting rainbows into punch bowls to be served to aristocrats in leisure suits doing business deals with Afghans knitted by Mohammed's wives.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 15:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-05-27 13:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your existence is liquid shit.
-----------
Do you really believe I haven't already considered that?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-05-27 13:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your existence is liquid shit.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 12:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
orphelia belly wobble FTW
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 12:22:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is that the kinda comment you wanted? if so i thought HO HO HO SO help me God was genius and it made my belly wobble
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 12:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is funny and stupid at the same time.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 11:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 11:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol @most heated
===================
HAHAHA oh man thats awesome.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 11:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol @most heated
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Sunshine Bus shouldn't ever stop at pubs.
That said, Jelly baby karaoke is hilarious.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
two verses in
god i haven't finished my own series
but it is top of my list
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-05-27 15:17:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
plus a voicewhore is coming soon
----
Oh God. You're not going to sing that Virgin Holidays advert again are you?
-------
i thought we both could, dont say your dumping me after our version of 'suspicious minds' at the choo choo club
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 15:14:41 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:59:58 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes I think you are funny and cute, the same way I think Jiminy Cricket is funny and cute.
==========================
oh and i have just taken a few photos in the disabled toilet, i plan to give uber a guided tour.
Dont worry, im not going to show my ugly arse. I mean face, I mean arse.
=========================
"when you wish upon a star..."
=========================
my arse is pretty nasty, in a small, non guy ass kinda way. Then again my shits do smell cotton fresh.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
plus a voicewhore is coming soon
----
Oh God. You're not going to sing that Virgin Holidays advert again are you?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
snide (snd)
adj. snid·er, snid·est
Derogatory in a malicious, superior way.
-----------------
ok, im not sure what i can disagree with.
Hey orphe, have you written me that poem yet?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:59:58 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes I think you are funny and cute, the same way I think Jiminy Cricket is funny and cute.
==========================
oh and i have just taken a few photos in the disabled toilet, i plan to give uber a guided tour.
Dont worry, im not going to show my ugly arse. I mean face, I mean arse.
=========================
"when you wish upon a star..."
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
snide
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:59:58 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you mean that im funny and cute.
which i agree with
also im hilarious
plus a voicewhore is coming soon
==========================
yes I think you are funny and cute, the same way I think Jiminy Cricket is funny and cute.
==========================
oh and i have just taken a few photos in the disabled toilet, i plan to give uber a guided tour.
Dont worry, im not going to show my ugly arse. I mean face, I mean arse.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Words...words...words....
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-05-27 10:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't understand anything anymore.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you mean that im funny and cute.
which i agree with
also im hilarious
plus a voicewhore is coming soon
==========================
yes I think you are funny and cute, the same way I think Jiminy Cricket is funny and cute.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:55:17 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe UK battles are just funny and cute,
I dont know why, I can never picture it as angry, I always hear it in a Monty Python-esque voice.
Thereby making it hilarious.
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i think you mean that im funny and cute.
which i agree with
also im hilarious
plus a voicewhore is coming soon
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:52:41 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
it is weird though all we were saying was this post is no better/no worse than a weird but entertaining ei post and FJ was agreeing and you spout about melons and hair and arse.
we are not being mean.
have you got your period too? friends are meant to have synched periods. kewl
----------------
that is weird.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe UK battles are just funny and cute,
I dont know why, I can never picture it as angry, I always hear it in a Monty Python-esque voice.
Thereby making it hilarious.
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pretty cool
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey im quite happy to kiss, never made a secret of that
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it is weird though all we were saying was this post is no better/no worse than a weird but entertaining ei post and FJ was agreeing and you spout about melons and hair and arse.
we are not being mean.
have you got your period too? friends are meant to have synched periods. kewl
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
emission, Bell, you are both as bad as each other, you both make snide remarks about each other none more so than the other.
Pack it in both of you or just kiss and make up.
If it is the latter of the two, pictures please
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:25:31 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck head? Moi?
And I agree Pheeley, this is not the greatest but it is easily better than an EI post.
------------
no it really isnt.
Look Bell, its not my fault you have a squashed melon for an arse or an inflated cumquat for a face. It really isn't. Now come on with your cheap jibes, its not big or clever!Oh Its a strange day when i consider myself mature in comparasion to another human.
So go on, continue doing your thing, getting your haircut by Bizzaro Hiddens hairdresser and post plenty more photos. Just know, that I want to fuck you up that gigantic hairy arse of yours till you bleed. Because thats not gay, thats fun :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No I have found you
Ugh
that other email is real
hopefully it belongs to a chick :)
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was wonderng what happened
do you need it again
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh well, some fallen imposter is now a very happy bunny :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FALLEN if you read this I have been sending mail to the wrong address :-/
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck head? Moi?
And I agree Pheeley, this is not the greatest but it is easily better than an EI post.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I certainly hope it does, because I need to change my socks anyway.
Good luck
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright, alright, Orph and w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m, you win.
But if you guys weren't such assholes I wouldn't have a bad attitude. Think about that.
I've been around this website for a year and every time I post I get the same old assholes giving me the same rehashed and empty reviews. I get frustrated with you people, and all I want is some constructive critisism. This website could be a hell of a lot cooler if it wasn't over run by so many thoughtless bullshit.
And I was addressing FJ as fuck head.
I am not trying to stir up drama, so let me apologize with humility :)
Been up all night with a fucking toothache (of all things, and what an excuse!), but whatever.
And I got another post brewing that will wow your socks off.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still not reading it, but for fucks sake, it's this easy to format
I just picked random ends of sentences and pressed the enter key a couple of times.
And seriously, split a paragraph into more than one sentence. Imagine if someone is reading it out loud, you don't really want them to take more than breath per between fullstops.
---
In the year 2012, on a cold winter evening, Santa Claus was taking the day off, as he had all year... Armageddon was neigh, as the calendars of the Mayan and the Chinese and some other douche bags said it would be many thousands of years ago.
Asteroids were about to make near collisions with earth. Super volcanoes were threatening detonation. And pollution was on the verge of causing massive changes to global weather patterns to near unlivable conditions.
Santa Claus sat beneath a beach umbrella on the pile of sand he had imported from Florida and wiped the heavy beads of sweat from his chubby chompsky homp face, and as he baked in the eighty degree weather, he said to the guy working the grill, "Make sure you get a real nice char pattern on Blitzen. I like a real good char grilled deer, but HO HO HO SO help me God if you fuck it up."
For Santa Claus knew that 2011 saw earth's last Christmas - that he could take the whole year off was obvious.
And it was his first vacation since that asshole that started this business of psychopathic gift giving died and got exploited by the Roman Catholic Church (and indeed, these are the opinions of Santa Claus, and not this narrator, or this author).
Yet Comrade Claus, though vacationing, couldn't help but feel a little bummed out that the world was going to end as soon as Satan's seven angels blew their trumpets to signal that some serious shit was about to go down.
So cooking his reign deer was like a really fucked up coping mechanism for him - such a demented and disturbed individual, and some even say murderer, doesn't belong on the streets, to wander the North Pole like some sort of troll who was once king but, seeing his kingdom crash around him, sunk into the deepest depths of insanity, where the blackest demons are permitted to exist so long as they don't feed on the time of our consciousness, which can be brought to the foreground in the form of mental shelter but becomes a prison as the night darkens.
A black car pulled up at the North Pole's drive way and three men in black suits and dark sunglasses piled out. Elves approached them and demanded identification but the men just pulled out small pistols and demanded to see Santa Claus. Some Elves attempted to alert the boss so he could escape and the agents (of the FBI) fired (Headline in tomorrows paper: TEN SNIPERS TAKE OUT TEN ELVES WITH TEN BULLETS, (consider recent Somali pirate incidents)).
I mean, Santa was hiding like Saddam Hussein in his ice bunker, and escaped many air strikes and raids, but they found the fat bastard that time. After he bolted from the barbeque, they found him cowering in a small cave underneath his artificial beach, which was encased by a melting iceberg. Water had seeped in from the walls and by the time the agents of the United States government finally found him, all that was left for them was the opportunity to witness a childhood legend's final hairy belly jiggle death throws.
His whale like blubber layer could not save him, and without Santa Claus, there can be no Christmas, and thus, no world, and Armageddon began the very next day.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=29848
Because this is such a shiny beacon of light in Uber's darkness, right?
The post is funny, it just needs reformatting.
STFU
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is this what uber has come too :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you addressing me as 'fuck head'?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'So cooking his reign deer'
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Content, not typos, fuck head. This isn't too difficult, is it? If you actually read it, you should be able to come up with more relevent and hilarious ways to destroy what it says than pointing out dumb typos.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The words were the content, moron.
If you want people to read it, then make it into a easy to read format.
People are lazy and can't be fucked to strain their eyes on something by someone who they have no idea about the quality they are going to post.
Hence my previous suggestion that you try reposting it in a better format, where people will read it and then give you criticism on the actual shit that was written, not the way it was written.
Jesus Christ, if you going to have a shit fit about putting in a few extra carrige returns then you're going to last great here.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I liked the content, it needs a really good clean up though, lots of spelling and grammar mistakes and your formatting is way too blocky so you need to use the enter key more often.
You use brackets far too often and whilst your idea was original the poor execution and your shitty fucking attitude totally let it down.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 14:05:13 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, for once I'd just like to actually get comments that have something to do with the FUCKING CONTENT.
~~~~~
'Armageddon was neigh'
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, for once I'd just like to actually get comments that have something to do with the FUCKING CONTENT.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-05-27 08:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you're right.
We should be grateful you posted at all, not criticise it for looking like a dictionary had diarrhea.
+2 for telling it how it is
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 08:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no my alters have overall higher ratings
:)
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 08:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and you people should stop bitching about the spacing like a bunch of whining vaginas.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 08:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not an alter and you are not funny with your "Sirloin" business.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-05-27 07:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mine eyes.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2009-05-27 06:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, I didn't actually believe Sirloin here was your alter. I should do an alter one day, but I lack imagination. It'd just be called 'bberty' and everyone would see through it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112573
Been there, done that berty Squirty.
Oh well, seems an empty Pringle tube is not entertainment for my baby.
toodles
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a struggle to read. Seriously reformat it and repost and you'll probably get slightly better responses.
Also:
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neightclub.
---
Made me laugh, hence the zero and not -2. You owe fj a cookie
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As a serious point, your next post should be about how you lost your virginity.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pheeley is lovely and pink in the middle.
--------------------------------------------
I was not motivated to write this post to provoke that conclusion, but that'll do pig. That'll do.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pheeley is lovely and pink in the middle.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 05:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wonder how many times I have to +2 him before I get accused of being his alter
----------------
Why do you think I keep calling him Sirloin? After all, you are such a juicy fillet.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You fuckers will appreciate my use of "chompsky homp" one day.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wonder how many times I have to +2 him before I get accused of being his alter
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:56:35 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's awful, Sirloin.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's awful, Sirloin.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FJ we totally need a(nother) pun post.
I was a farm the other day.
Hang on, this is email story.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphy, FJ, Perhaps he is autistic but is Trying Very Hard.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not that I'm consistently ill. The problem is I like to write when I'm stoned. Or, it's not a problem. Because it rules. This post rules. Holy shit, it rules!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:51:16 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
We could pretend I did that on purpose. That could work?
--------------------
I actually did that.
I thought you were being really clever, beyond my level of intelligence so I pretended to get the joke just to fit in. The same reason I wear smocks from Topshop.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neightclub.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I read this all the way through [but only because I was looking for more funny typos]. I really don't understand what your motivation for writing this could possibly have been.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once slept with Bill Nighy
he isn't that funny or interesting in real life
and heaven knows what he was doing in Illusions Nightclub and Disco in Skegness.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know... Are you dyslexic? If you have a medical condition people will often give you positive reviews for trying.
I, for instance, have built an entire Uber-career on being wheelchair bound.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We could pretend I did that on purpose. That could work?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I spoke too soon
and it's chargrilled
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'So cooking his reign deer'
HAHA!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At least people are ignoring reign deer
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really you'd have been better off talking about Bill Nighy. He is a national treasure.
You'd have had so many +2s that you could have walked on them like Beck.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I, on the other hand, feel betrayed by the English language. How did I get fooled into believing "neigh" was the right word? I searched the internet for answers and only found this: "Bargain Prices. Smart Deals. Deals on Neigh!" The use of neigh, I now know, was unsound. But anyway, I meant "NIGH" so there it is.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always been something of a neigh-sayer myself.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you have me confused with Sage, my face is most unhorse like.
I think there may be a slight air of sarcasm to my comments but I am +2ing anyway for controversy.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You like that? Horse face.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 09:27:42 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
'Armageddon was neigh'
---
That is the best bit!!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-27 04:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'Armageddon was neigh'
Heh.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-27 03:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God I hate Christmas. And this post.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-27 03:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
since he went down so well on his first uber outing i have decided to let my baby smash out a comment with his tiny fists in hope of him hitting something intelligible
grhx555555555555555s bv c v v vh7y7 n7lmbbbbbbbbbbb vh
clearly he is the second coming