Happy Birthday to Uber's Poet Laureate (986 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.23 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by katy (View user info) at 2009-05-28 13:36:42 EDT
I mean Orgasmatron of course. Who the fuck is this bell(end) guy? What can I say? You still look the same throughout all your years here. On the upside that means you haven't aged. On the downside that means you've looked 30 all this time.
Also I could totally make you this cake.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-07-05 11:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TASTES LIKE GHEY
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2009-05-31 21:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Will only plus two if Orgasmatron comes out of retirement and posts something.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-05-31 14:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's a bad ass fucking cake.
------------------------------
didn't know cakes could ass fuck. hmmm. learned something new today
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-30 12:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT'S A BAD ASSFUCKING CAKE.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-05-29 18:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-05-29 09:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a bad ass fucking cake.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-29 04:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn right.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-05-29 01:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HFB, Herr Poet.
Uberbury Tales.
:D
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2009-05-29 00:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, brings back memories.
Submitted by SOLO2 (user info) at 2009-05-29 00:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Front page STREAK!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-05-28 20:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*KNOWS BD was coming and she hasn't missed it*
*panics*
*confirms date*
*relief*
+2 OLDgasmatron!
HBDDLIRLYK
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 18:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
y'know I have no idea.... but if you get stuck just say "I know Jules"
you'll be fine.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 17:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awww
marry me for the passport then hon.
--------
i wonder what happens if you renounce your citizenship without any place to go? where do they deport you to? would they just shove me into the international waters? would it mean as a citizen of no nation that i cease to exist as far as international laws go?
also, i hate the UN. bastards want to give $540m to pakistan but normal people with normal goals that don't blow other normal people the fuck up aren't elligible for international aid just to have a normal life.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 17:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im ubers Andrew Ridgely.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All men are a little gay. I'm sure I top out around 4%....5% maybe.
Just enough to be fun with while shopping and judging men over martinis at a bar.
But that's it.
~~
Stop being so perfect. Its not fair to guys like EI..
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like that cake.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All men are a little gay. I'm sure I top out around 4%....5% maybe.
Just enough to be fun with while shopping and judging men over martinis at a bar.
But that's it.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awww
marry me for the passport then hon.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like you more merlina? (probably)
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes but you're a straight woman. gay men like O are much touchier about their years
~~~
NOOO
"LALALAA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes but you're a straight woman. gay men like O are much touchier about their years.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know you're completely dead in dog years right?
~~
hey! you know I'm 39 in July, missy..
and I'm SO nowhere near dead
Rather alive tonight actually..
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know you're completely dead in dog years right?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now Noonie, 'spreading' doesn't rhyme with 'smiling' whatsoever.
Great sentiment, but come on.
Now back to the legs...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
at least i know i can still win rob bergs affections
screw you 'o'!!
my number is 078bum5ex765
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*sings* when irish thighs are spreading...
~~
aagh STOPIT
*blushes furiously*
*runs away*
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cock isn't all that sweet. it's a bit more salty. it would provide good balance.
~~
Ew
YOU'RE NO COMPETITION EI.
O knows where to be.
---------
*sings* when irish thighs are spreading...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-28 16:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was a post about FJ
That cake is insultingly easy to make
I have made gayer
:P
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww EI...
wanna spoon?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i feel rejected
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cock isn't all that sweet. it's a bit more salty. it would provide good balance.
~~
Ew
YOU'RE NO COMPETITION EI.
O knows where to be.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cock isn't all that sweet. it's a bit more salty. it would provide good balance.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still no.
So far I've got Merlina in fondant unmentionables and a rainbow pride kate from Noonie.
I'm good w/ sweets for now.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
by which he means wait for the details. can you mail a cocktail napkin?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll bring cookies
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EI, if that's the only gift you're bringing to the table thank you kindly but I'm going to be busy on whatever day you're in town.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
emission has a better chance with O than you or me, merlina.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wonders if 'o' fancies some bum fun
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This just keeps getting better and better.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how hot is this 'O'?
hotter than my underpants?
~~
He is "O my god"
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how hot is this 'O'?
hotter than my underpants?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*faints with lust*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so in.
On second though - make both pairs, Noonie. One for the day and one for the evening.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chicks dig us old guys O, and Caul does too.
so your covered either way.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Orgasmatron is a faggot.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who cares
he's gorgeous.
---------
you're so in O.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh come to London... bring flour... I'll supply the wine and we can have fun whilst we bake irish underwear..
----------
you know i've been trying, but england decided it only wants people from canada, australia, and then all those dangerous countries you see on cnn because of the bombings.
thanks universe.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 15:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who cares
he's gorgeous.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm wrinkly orgasmosoup.
Hold the grey pubes.
~~
Go easy - he's younger than me..
-------
no really, everything is going grey on him
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're considering sucking his dick for his birthday...And not just figuratively, with this post.
Because this "present" blows.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm wrinkly orgasmosoup.
Hold the grey pubes.
~~
Go easy - he's younger than me..
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh come to London... bring flour... I'll supply the wine and we can have fun whilst we bake irish underwear..
The best cake I'm into making for people at the moment are 1) Chocolate ameretti cake (easy as all mixed in a blender) and 2) white chocolate and hazelnut cake (the choc is in the sponge and the frosting is cream cheese, hazelnuts, icing sugar and vanilla extract)
Both impressive and apparantly delicious. I say apparantly because I don't actually like cake much.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm wrinkly orgasmosoup.
Hold the grey pubes.
...eww.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish my office had an oven so i could bake.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great idea.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Noonie, can you fashion a fondant pair w/ the Irish flag on it?
If not, blue works for me.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i can make you fondant underwear merlina. that way you ARE the cake :D
~~~
Perfect! Make it blue if you can..
Is that okay Orgasmatron?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i can make you fondant underwear merlina. that way you ARE the cake :D
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hopefully I'll get the flight in time to jump out of that cake (as prearranged with katy of course).
Happy birthday angel.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They're going to wind up in your soup if you keep it up, Canadian Bacon.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OLD BALLS
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't knwo it was your birthday. berty's is either today or tomorrow as well and mine is coming up. ttom's is also around these parts. lots of late may geminis.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-28 14:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good on you for wishing him a happy birthday, but to hell with him. I turned 29 on Sunday, and I didn't get any well-wishes. I did get a remote control helicopter though, and that's quite awesome.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i really do want to make that cake.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as frosty the snowman would say
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute cake for a lesbian wedding. I'm totally sending this to Kim and Heather.
Happy birthday O. I'm going to go re-read Birthday Cat to celebrate.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm certainly prettier O. Happy birthday
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go shawty its ya birfday...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Older below.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Old
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-05-28 13:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment