Wake Up, Obama. Our Buxom Women are in Peril (2166 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.54 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sully (View user info) at 2009-06-01 11:45:53 EDT
Quit your bickering, United States of America.
All I'm hearing in my earholes is economy-this and abortion-that. A subject infinitely more important than petty hot-topics like money and dead babies is Anita Ekberg—the Swedish blonde bombshell from such films as La Dolce Vita and War and Peace. So stop complaining about how you're not legally allowed to stick your dick in another guy's asshole while you concurrently pool your incomes and household responsibilities. There are more pressing issues at hand.
And don't even get me started on relaxing marijuana laws. If you ask me, the real laws in need of relaxation are gravity and time. If anyone on this site happens to personally know the President of the United States/work on the White House staff, please do us all a favor and print this page out. Once you've done that, furtively sneak into the Oval Office and place the printout at the top of Obama's to-do pile. Now you can exit the office knowing you died a hero. Because you're about to get shot; no one's supposed to go in the Oval Office unannounced, retard.
So Barack, if you've miraculously come across this post, please understand that the laws of gravity and time are harsh, harsh mistresses. From my experience, they are much more harmful psychologically than rape or sexual harassment but probably on the same level-playing field as incest or child abuse. Anything you can do to help this growing problem would be most appreciated.
The following is a longish scroll-thing that is most definitely NSFW if your boss doesn't prefer naked pictures of gorgeous blonde girls who peaked physically in the mid-1960s on your computer screen.
I repeat, NSFW:
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-06-09 04:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The attention to detail with that one strand of red hair on the MS paint job was incredible.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-06-02 20:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-06-02 16:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My old Hollywood chick...
http://blog.filmjabber.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/sabrina-audrey-hepburn.jpg
http://www.motleycrow.com/ImageHost/Audrey%20Hepburn%200001.jpg
http://imagecache01a.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/174492~Audrey-Hepburn-Posters.jpg
http://www.yousexything.org/media/a/audrey_hepburn_012_640x792.jpg
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-02 12:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Roadsong, I think I read somewhere that she is pretty much friendless and never found a true love (although she was married several times in her heyday) so perhaps she turned into a chain-smoking alcoholic to cope with the pain. A lifestyle which may beget her sea monster looks.
SaintGutFree, I'm 100% with you on that one. Never really thought about it before but Marcello really was being a complete drunk idiot at that party and no one seemed to give a shit. If that was my house, I would've kicked him out when I found out he threw a rock through the window, the first drunk-idiot thing he did.
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Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-06-01 17:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
!
I'm going to have an orgy on my 35th birthday, then commit suicide.
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Just noticed this comment. I'm surprised more women don't think this way. It makes logical sense.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-02 12:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-02 07:43:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-02 00:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My grandmother lived to be well past 100 years old and she NEVER did look this bad. She was pleasant to look upon. Regal and fine featured.
What would cause a woman who had once been this beautiful to look so scary?
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Only thing I can think of is that Ekberg was some kind of gremlin thing to begin with and she made a deal with the devil to be the most beautiful woman on earth for a decade or two. Afterward she would go back to looking like some monster kids think is under their bed, only being able to keep the blonde hair and blue eyes as keepsakes.
I'm sincerely curious as to how long Anita Ekberg would cry reading this post and its reviews. 2 hours? 3 hours?
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If she had made a deal with the devil to be the most beautiful woman on earth, I don't think this post would make her cry.
However
Perhaps somthing horrific happened to her beautiful personage and caused her to look like this?{nah}
At any rate, I hope she does not see my words here.
There are women in my family who made films years ago. Some of them might be about Anitas age. I am going to dig around in some old family albums.
I had always thought "start out ugly, end up ugly".
Then there are the girls who turn out to be beautiful women and say that they were so plain during their school years that they could not get a date....
The "Ugly Duckling" syndrome, doncha know.
Submitted by SaintGutFree (user info) at 2009-06-02 12:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
8. Throws another pillow in the fountain, ruining it
9. Demands that two people in the room have sex in front of everyone
10. Throws a bottle of wine at a glass lightbulb thing, breaking both the bottle and the bulb.
11. Calls everyone in the room boring
AND NOT ONE PERSON REPRIMANDS HIM IN THE SLIGHTEST.
Jesus.
Submitted by SaintGutFree (user info) at 2009-06-02 11:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Rewatched La Dolce Vita because of this post; I'm a nerd like that. Something absoolutely bugs me about its ending though. Picture the final scene, the party with all the rich socialites. Marcello is blatantly shitfaced, slurring his words, stumbling around, easily in the top 3 for "Drunkest Person at the Party" award. During the scene, Marcello does the following:
1. Throws a rock through a window
2. Pours a drink on some chick
3. Manhandles another chick and rips the strap on her dress
4. Rips open a pillow, ruining it
5. Handful by handful he throws the pillow feathers around the room
6. Is generally rude to everybody
7. Probably more things I forget
Anyway the pointt I'm geting at is that how fast would Marcello have been thrown out on his face during this party if it was in real life? I don't care if the group was all friends, I wouldn't get away with drunkenly doing two of things above before getting the shit kicked out of me. The owner of the house only vaguely seemed to give a fuck about Marcelo destroying his house but never really said anything. And it seemed like he didn't even know who Marcello was either. Marcello's final scene in La Dolce Vita sets the bar on the absolute MAXIMUM you cn do during a party without getting kicked out, I'd say. That is all, carry on.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-02 10:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-02 00:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My grandmother lived to be well past 100 years old and she NEVER did look this bad. She was pleasant to look upon. Regal and fine featured.
What would cause a woman who had once been this beautiful to look so scary?
----------------
Only thing I can think of is that Ekberg was some kind of gremlin thing to begin with and she made a deal with the devil to be the most beautiful woman on earth for a decade or two. Afterward she would go back to looking like some monster kids think is under their bed, only being able to keep the blonde hair and blue eyes as keepsakes.
I'm sincerely curious as to how long Anita Ekberg would cry reading this post and its reviews. 2 hours? 3 hours?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-02 04:00:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-06-02 07:24:59 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-06-02 04:25:18 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you imagine what those big nasty flappers look like now? More of a Britt Ekland fan, myself. I bet her breasts are still delightful. By comparison, anyway, with those big nasty flappers.
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I swaer you have fucking issues. Not liking big boobs is fine but hating them is weird.
I mean, you wanna talk about it? No, didn't think so.
I don't like really small or really large cocks but you don't hear me insulting them at every opportunity, do you?
I am perfect borderline fucking awesome and so are my massive titties that give pleasure!
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AHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
ye gods
Submitted by Vanquish (user info) at 2009-06-02 03:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-06-02 02:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-06-02 04:25:18 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you imagine what those big nasty flappers look like now? More of a Britt Ekland fan, myself. I bet her breasts are still delightful. By comparison, anyway, with those big nasty flappers.
-----------------------
I swaer you have fucking issues. Not liking big boobs is fine but hating them is weird.
I mean, you wanna talk about it? No, didn't think so.
I don't like really small or really large cocks but you don't hear me insulting them at every opportunity, do you?
I am perfect borderline fucking awesome and so are my massive titties that give pleasure!
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-02 00:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My grandmother lived to be well past 100 years old and she NEVER did look this bad. She was pleasant to look upon. Regal and fine featured.
What would cause a woman who had once been this beautiful to look so scary?
Her breasts are shaped just like those of some African tribeswoman I have seen in National Geographic.heh
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-06-01 23:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you imagine what those big nasty flappers look like now? More of a Britt Ekland fan, myself. I bet her breasts are still delightful. By comparison, anyway, with those big nasty flappers.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 22:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My condolences if you got in trouble, I'll be sure to label my posts better... but tranny tits? Now you're just being offensive. I'll admit they might look pointy but I'll put my life on it that she has the brand of those natural European tits that are firm and shaped as if molded from clay. Unlike the squishy jello pouches you may be accustomed. Maybe we can get Ms. Ekberg on the horn for this mystery. Anyone have her cell#?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-06-01 22:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not only do they look fake, they look like transvestite tits.
Also IT people don't care if you didn't look at nude pictures or not, they care if you're on a page that shows porn.
This one did without prewarning.
Etc. etc. etc.
Really I'm just an insomniac cock.
Deal with it.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 22:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Warned about NSFW several times above and probably upwards of three generations of red-blooded men disagree with you on the tits are shit issue you so delicately raised.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMj0t7sds7I
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-06-01 21:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NSFW+ shit tits.
Seriously, they were disgusting.
Submitted by bustedcompass (user info) at 2009-06-01 21:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine post. Damn fine post.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 21:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It'll be interesting to keep tabs on Monica Bellucci and Mary-Louise Parker, two women who still look great in their mid-forties. I swear to god Bellucci is still riding her peak somehow. Someone should be researching this phenomenon.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-06-01 20:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You sure know how to fuck up a wet dream.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-01 19:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'...
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2009-06-01 18:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice, she's about 28 different kinds of gorgeous.
I always thought the bras of the 60's made thier breasts apear that way
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-06-01 17:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
!
I'm going to have an orgy on my 35th birthday, then commit suicide.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-06-01 16:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-06-01 15:23:37 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for pics
-2 for mention of obama
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 16:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are ever an oracle of wisdom, SGF.
I've decided I am inventing a time machine as fast as possible. Paradoxes be damned:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xydfNG2E9h4
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-06-01 16:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for pics
-2 for mention of obama
Submitted by SaintGutFree (user info) at 2009-06-01 16:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ekberg once jokingly took credit for making Federico Fellini famous and not the other way around. While an exaggeration, she DID help Fellini immensely by starring in his best movie (even if she was only in 1 of the 7 segments of La Dolce Vita), and producing perhaps the most gorgeous scene in movie history: the fountain scene you have above there.
She was definitely beautiful in 1960 but now in her late 70s, not so much. Like the motif she symbolized in La Dolce Vita, young Anita Ekberg was an unattainable angel on earth full of vibrance and childlike exuberance. Her looks were a great example for how fleeting and utterly pointless physical beauty can be. 95 times out of 100, women peak in their twenties and gradually go downhill until they look like shits you and I have taken today. Before you get married, unless you've done so already, make sure your girl's mom is attractive. One of the most important pieces of advice my grandfather ever gave me.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-01 15:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:06:22 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet she smoked a lot of cigarettes and her voice is a bellowing raspy hiss not unlike a sea monster. In La Dolce Vita, her voice is cute and slightly raspy so I'm sure it got worse fifty years later.
Anita, if you're reading these comments and crying, we're kidding. Say the word and I'll come fuck the shit out of you even if it technically makes me a necrophiliac.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You are a kind person SullyThePirate.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-01 15:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Red was here
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2009-06-01 15:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-01 14:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 14:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also today is coincidentally Morgan Freeman's birthday, something I didn't know before adding the Brooks Was Here pic.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 14:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet she smoked a lot of cigarettes and her voice is a bellowing raspy hiss not unlike a sea monster. In La Dolce Vita, her voice is cute and slightly raspy so I'm sure it got worse fifty years later.
Anita, if you're reading these comments and crying, we're kidding. Say the word and I'll come fuck the shit out of you even if it technically makes me a necrophiliac.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The WTEckberg chick was a plus size back then. She was moderately attractive but could have used some exercise nonetheless.
1.5
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know this woman will be on her death bed one day, smuggly thinking about all the men who have wanked to her.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this here is a damn fine post.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The woman is almost 80 years old!
She has not aged well, but she is still on the right side of the grass.{barely}
Think about this. How would it feel to come home from school to granny in the kitchen baking cookies, and granny looked like the 1960 Anita? It might twist you for life, her leaning over your face with those boobies and cookies...
heh
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-06-01 13:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 12:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
w_t_k_v_w_u_5_o,
I'll be real honest. I was skulking around google images for some Anita Ekberg pictures to gawk at when I unfortunately came across the image above of Modern Day Ekberg (MDE, a creature that will haunt my nightmares for years to come), staining my brain and lessening the perfect dream of what I thought of 60s Anita Ekberg in the process. I instantly gained a Mr. Freeze Complex (a reference for all you 'Batman & Robin' fans out there! I know there are billions), and wanted the world to feel as much pain and torment as I had. So the only way to make this possible was to post the picture on ubersite. NOW YOU ALL WILL FEEL MY ANGST, MY MISERY, MY DISCOMFORT! <cackle> <cough> <cackle>
But seriously, holy shit right? Brdn_Nkd hit the nail on the head, I think. Time is usually kind of a dick but this time he took a fucking bat to this poor woman's face.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-06-01 12:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why would Obama want to play with time and gravity? Chance are he'll turn white someday.....
Great post!
Sage, you look fine just the way you are young lady.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 12:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am instinctively cautious and fearful of fake tits because of what I know they will look like eventually.
In related news, this clip is my new religion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzVoThGt1N8
"Now bend over girl. And use your titties like a broom and sweep it. Just sweep it. There's a roach on the floor and some dust and some corn. Now sweep it, just sweep it. I got some people comin' over so you better bend over and sweep it."
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-06-01 12:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why would you do this?
She could have remained beautiful in my eyes forever.
Instead you make her look like the dead woman from the first House film.
If anyone needs to look up that reference, you should just kill yourself for not having lived thus far.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seeing pictures like these and my Mom's and sister's perfect fucking fake boobs kinda make me want some of my own nice biggish fake ones.
But then I tell myself that I wouldn't like it so much in 20 or so years and that although average sized, mine are nice as they are and yadda yadda whatever.
Auto +2 nice boobs.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Genes dude, it's just genes. Some people age better than others. It isn't fair but there you go.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sadly time catches even the hottest women eventually. In this case it would seem time was not in a good mood and happened to be swinging an entire ugly tree when he caught up to her.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
With all things considered, would I still have sex with modern day Anita Ekberg? Would there be something wrong with me mentally? I'd argue the answers to both questions is a resounding, "YES!"
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-01 11:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer non buxom ladies.