Doodles make new friends at UBERVILLE HOSPITAL (628 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kaos-King (antius777) (View user info) at 2009-06-05 00:29:19 EDT
SEE PART 1 ----> http://www.ubersite.com/m/122357
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Doodles slept soundly, dreaming peacefully of bunny rabbits and lollipops. He was skipping through a field of bright yellow daisy, happy at play. Rolling over in his slumber, he felt something tickle at his nose. Young Doodles giggled in his dream as a butterfly landed there, but the tickle persisted. Doodles grumbled as his dream faded away and he opened his eyes...
... to stare directly into Wildman's face.
"AHHH!" screamed Wildman.
"AHRGHHH!" screamed Doodles.
"Why are you screaming?" asked Wildman in a conversational tone.
"You... you scared me!" stammered Doodles as he scrambled from his bed.
"Oh, sorry about that. I'm just excited."
"Is today the day?" asked Doodles.
"Oh yes," replied Wildman, as he adjusted his gown, "The first stage of my revenge begins."
There was a bang in the door as the locking mechanisms were released, the inmates allowed access to the Uberville Hospital facilities for the new day. Patients all along the hallway began rambling out and wandering about. Doodles peered over Wildman's shoulder at Sage and Orphelia as the came strolling from their room. First he watched as Orphy rewrapped her robe about her green PJ's, her enormous breasts stretching the fabric thin. Behind her, Sage danced in circles with a joyful expression.
"Orphy and Sage are pretty," remarked Doodles.
Wildman growled at him.
"Um, but not as you as you, Wildman!"
"Damn straight!"
A haggard-looking, gangly fellow came rushing up to Wildman, his face drawn back in anger. Dr. Maiorano had been blackmailed by Wildman into transferring two inmates back to Uberville so that he could engage in his nefarious plan. Wildman had walked in on the doctor in a compromising position with a patient; him getting sodomized by Juls. To keep the situation quiet, Dr. Maiorano had agreed to the transfer, but...
"Damn you, Wildman!" hissed the doctor.
"What's the matter, bum-boy? Outta lube?"
"They sent more than just the two inmates you requested, you son of a bitch! We got..."
"IT'S CRUMPLIN' TIME!" came a bellow from down the hall.
"Aw, crap," said Wildman, as everyone watched Oathy take a dive right into Bell and begin throwing punches.
It took the Orderlies a good three minutes to pull the enraged ginger from his victim. Cap'n Thorns received a busted jaw and Drake got two bruised ribs from the affair. Dr. Forensic gleefully plunged a needle into Oathy bloated vein and knocked him out.
"Well, that wasn't so bad. I suppose..."
"Announcement, announcement," came a small voice from behind Wildman.
He turned in the hall to see a lanky, weasely-looking man staring at him with bug eyes.
"Breaking news," slurred Tangel. "The BigMan wants to see you."
"Oh, fuck..." replied Wildman, turning white.
Dr. Maiorano laughed and shuffled off, content in his own revenge.
"Kid, you stay here. I'll be..."
"Both of you," hissed Tangel.
"A new friend?" asked Doodles, jumping up and down.
"Shut up and walk," said Wildman through gritted teeth.
A few doors down, they stopped as Tangel looked in. Already, Jeanneee and Fallen had come to make their pledges to the BigMan, the Don. They wandered out of the room, looking visibly shaken. Berty was curled up in a corner, sobbing uncontrollably, Inion giving worried looks back to the door. Tangel held a hand out for them to enter.
"Play it cool, Doodles..." whispered Wildman.
"Um..."
They walked in to see a chubby youngster perched on the end of his bed playing with a handheld video game. His tummy was covered in cookie crumbs and tiny beads of sweat were forming from his concentration. He let out a sound of exasperation and dropped the game to his side.
"Oohhh, what game is that!" squealed Doodles.
Electro, the most feared man in the states' mental asylum circuit, raised an eyebrow.
"Sorry... sorry, sir. He's an idiot," tried Wildman.
Electro clicked his tongue. "It's okay. Looks like a nice enough kid. Took him under your wing, have you?"
"Uh, yes sir."
"Hmmm, and I hear you're to thank for my transfer?"
Wildman gulped.
"Are you part of Wildman's bastardly plan?" asked Doodles in hushed tones.
Electro roared with laughter. "Let's see, 'bastardly?' Close enough. Close enough... for now."
Electro retrieved his game and waived them out.
Wildman dragged Doodles by his helmet down the hall into the recroom, swearing under his breath most of the way. He threw Doodles in a chair and sat down opposite. Trembling, Wildman brought his hands up to run through his already messy hair.
"Jesus... Jesus fuck, that was close."
"So, eh... is that guy my new friend?"
Wildman grumbled something as he looked around the room. Sage was bouncing up and down on a couch in the corner, Emission and Orphy stacking blocks with Coley. McCallum was talking to his imaginary feline friends and Sacrilicious was beating Kaos over the top of the head with a stuffed dinosaur. Method was quietly choking Majul in a corner while Inion had pulled a still weeping Berty onto a table. TTOM was trying to take a bite out of Monkeys, who was reading a book upside down.
And Caul? Caul was holding court with Crystle, Ballare, Circe, TigerLily and Fey. Some were taking fashion tips from him, some were simply cooing over his beauty. Either way, it infuriated Wildman.
Of course, that was the exact moment...
Like a burst of light had entered the room, rays of sunshine and angels singing, Hidden walked in. On one arm was Lisa, the other was Shadow. He swaggered in and flashed his smile, every woman in the room turning and letting out a sigh. (as well as a lil' squeal from Emission.) Within a matter of seconds, all the ladies in the room had flocked to him.
And Caul now? Caul threw a temper tantrum.
He screamed and spit, swore in French and stomped his high-heeled feet.
Over his shrieking, someone managed to hear Dr. Scourge bellow "Medicate it!"
Dr. Skrap and Drake wrestled Caul to the ground, the crazy Canadian's mascara running terribly. Someone shouted at Dr. Merlina to stop Oogling Hidden and juice up the Canuck. Minutes later, Caul was being dragged out to solitary.
"Excellent!" exclaimed Wildman, "Phase one, completed!"
"Okay, that's a boy!" said Doodles.
"Yeah, Hidden doesn't like dresses, so now I'M the most pretty, pretty princess!"
Hidden overheard his name and removed Sage's and Inion's hands from his groin. Sauntering over to Wildman and Doodles, he flashed a grin back at the women and held a finger to ask for a minute. They cried in sorrow and alarm. Hidden promsed he'd be right back.
"Wildman... what are you up to?" asked Hidden.
"Caulaincourt," sneered Wildman.
Hidden laughed. "And now you're the best dressed, huh?"
"You know it!"
"Well, you look fantastic," replied Hidden, who then looked over at Doodles. "Who the little guy?"
"I'm Doodles!" he quipped.
"Nice to meet you, Doodles. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go make sweet love to all these women."
"What's that mean?" asked Doodles.
Wildman grunted, but Hidden clutched his heart in shock.
"Doodles, have you never known the pleasures of a woman?"
"Huh? My mommy is real nice, but..."
"Dear menstruating Aphrodite!" Hidden turned to disciples. "Who here will claim this young man's virginity in my name?"
Hidden's request was met with a lot of mumbled responses and shuffled feet.
"Will no one take up the name of LOVE for this... Emission, put your hand down. Damnation. I will find you a lover, young retard, worry not!"
And with that, Hidden was swept off by his adoring fans.
"Ummm, what just happened?" asked Doodles.
"Oh, I dunno... that's just Hidden," replied Wildman.
"So, what about that other guy? Where's he?"
Wildman's eye narrowed. "I don't know."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Weeeeeeeeeeeep! I kinda, sorta wanna do him sooooo bad!"
"I know you do, you just have to live up to your end of the bargin."
"There'll be FUSION when I cram my penor into him, FUSION, FUSION, FUSION!"
"Of there will be, Habeeb," whispered Dr. Maiorano. "And you will get to have the lil' helmeted boy as a plaything... as soon as you kill Wildman."
____________________________________________________________
I lied... there will be a part 3
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-06-07 16:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this sucked.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-06-06 05:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude!, this is so awesome I almost pee'd inside my brand new dress, but then I remembered if I had done that it might have rusted my.......
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-06-06 02:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DUN DUN DUUUUNNN
I bet this happens someday. Yes, all of it.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-06-05 20:50:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-06-05 15:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to stop using "lil'"
Seriously.
Doctors don't say that.
No one actually saus that.
You're the only brain dead buffoon who actually thinks it is cute to say "lil"
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-06-05 14:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not going to read this until i see my name when i skim it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-05 14:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-06-05 13:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orphelia and I are roommates? Sweet. I believe she's a fellow air-sign...we'd likely get along swimmingly. ;)
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2009-06-05 10:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Togu's Quest.
Pester Bart already.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2009-06-05 08:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Like a burst of light had entered the room, rays of sunshine and angels singing, Hidden walked in."
LOL!
You forgot to have him shout "WHO WANTS TO HAVE A MONEY FIGHT?" though. :)
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-05 08:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-05 06:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now see here, Scourge's lines are better than mine. And I don't like that.
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I didn't even have a line AND I had to touch Caul. He got mascara on me, you know. Mascara is brown, right?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-06-05 08:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw my name like....twice. WOO
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-06-05 08:10:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I made a list!!
or a post
whatever.
woohoo!!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-05 07:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-05 07:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do one of these everyday
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-06-05 07:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmm
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-05 06:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now see here, Scourge's lines are better than mine. And I don't like that.
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2009-06-05 03:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2, sir, and still because I am not in it. Thanks for the laf!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-06-05 02:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Meanwhile, Merlina was out celebrating her promotion from Nurse to Doctor...
Made me laugh... especially the 'Emission put your hand down' line.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2009-06-05 02:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
>sigh< STILL needs more bear...
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-06-05 01:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Will no one take up the name of LOVE for this... Emission, put your hand down. Damnation. I will find you a lover, young retard, worry not!"
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-06-05 01:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read it, but glanced over my name in there...don't use my name.
these uber 'inside' stories are embarassing, in a LARPing kind of way.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-06-05 00:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gold
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2009-06-05 00:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the most feared maniac... probably because I wear a tie and can give people bad days I suppose.
Has anyone seen Bart yet?