If you seek Edna (506 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.5 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jasumthin (View user info) at 2009-06-10 10:00:46 EDT
My initial steps into puberty where guided by a pixilated seductress that would forever be a part of my fantasies. For having an 8bit body, she was still pretty hot. Walking around that house in a nurse uniform while teasing me with promises of kinky sex was often times more than I could take. I'm not sure which did more damage to my wrist, her or the video game.
She came from a bad family, that much was clear. Her husband, obsessed with his work, often neglected her and her needs. Her son, who wanted nothing more than his father's love, found solace in his hobbies, paying her little to no attention. The only thing she had left of the one person in the family that really cared for her, and shared her love of all things sexual, were his remains and his extensive pornography collection. She was all alone.
Her loneliness drove her to do and say things to get my attention that weren't normally done. She occasionally went into cougar mode and made me watch as she tempted and teased young men and women. It was nothing for her to say things like "How silly of me. I should have tied you to my bed!" or "You're lucky you're not a boy, or you'd be in BIG trouble right now". She knew I was entering puberty and took full advantage of my hormonal changes. After all, she was a nurse. Then again, maybe she wasn't but at least she played the part well.
She paraded teenage girls around her house trying to tempt me but they were of no interest to me. She tried the stereotypical ones: the girl with specs appeal, the cheerleader, and the punk rock chic. She never went as far as to suggest we do things with her son's hamster, but I'm sure she would have it we would ever have been truly alone together.
I visited her often. Sometimes I would interact with her. Sometimes I would simply watch. Regardless, she encouraged the exploration of my pubescent erections and I am forever in debt to her. She taught me the power of lust, the thrill of seduction. She introduced me to a world I knew nothing of and encouraged my immoral thoughts.
As time went on, we saw less and less of each other. We eventually went our separate ways, but I never forgot her. Today, I am teased and tantalized by outlaw vixens who pole dance while golfing but it's just not the same. Occasionally I find myself at hole in the wall strip clubs and dive bars looking for a woman just like her but none of them equal her power to inspire those sexual fantasies from so long ago. It's been quite some time since I've been to Maniac Mansion to see my dear sweat Nurse Edna. I'm afraid I'll never see her again. Perhaps it's for the best, my wrists can't take her coy advances.
User Reviews
Submitted by fleurdetease (user info) at 2009-06-12 02:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I lurked this site for 3 years. I've signed up for multiple accounts, and never logged in. I forget about uber for about 6 months, dicking around on /b/ instead.
But tonight I'm drinking, and bored, and happened upon a post re: Maniac Mansion, my favorite game of all time.
Maniac Mansion fact #1 - The first game of all time to include cut scenes.
Maniac Mansion fact #2 - The first game of all time in which the characters moved independently, i.e. you could run into Edna in random parts of the house, as opposed to her just re-spawning at the same place over and over again.
It was an epic game, pioneered many game techniques used currently, and... well, good times.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-06-10 17:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never played Maniac Mansion but I did play Leisure Suit Larry, are they similar?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-10 15:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking YAWN
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-06-10 14:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-06-10 13:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no picture, didn't read = auto zero
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-10 12:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-06-10 12:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Reminds me of this 8-bit tie I saw on thinkgeek.com the other day: http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/giftsforhim/9352/
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-10 12:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-06-10 15:14:16 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Great game. Shit post.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-06-10 11:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-10 11:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
...And THEN what happened?
Hopefully, something less mind numbing than what I just attempted to browse through...
Submitted by GreatOdensRaven (user info) at 2009-06-10 11:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
erm
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-10 10:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"She never went as far as to suggest we do things with her son's hamster, but I'm sure she would have it we would ever have been truly alone together."
~~~~~~~~
OhhNOooooo.....
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-06-10 10:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not-3-lines-of-text-and-a-link-to-a-video-everyone's-already-seen-auto +2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-06-10 10:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Nurse Edna is a grim and frightful-looking creature with a single minded purpose that "would make a sailor blush".
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-06-10 10:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-06-10 10:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Great game. Shit post.