Is there worse news? - A Colonial Tale pt 2 (270 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: colonial
Rating: 1.16 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Graveyboat (View user info) at 2009-06-18 02:53:23 EDT
Part one: http://www.ubersite.com/m/122512
Part one was received...not as well as I'd hoped. I have never submitted writing to a public domain before and I am newish at writing in general but I want to go on with this story with the hopes of getting better and with help from you kind Uber fellows I might just be able to do that.
It also helps to have a masochistic side... So here's part 2.
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"Dear Mrs Elizabeth Richardson,
It is with deep regret I must inform you of the death of your husband, John, who fell while in service to His Royal Majesty King George II and the Empire on the 6th of March in the year 1751. The following Sunday he was buried with honours at the church in Williamsburg, Virginia along with two hundred and fifty of his fellow soldiers and officers. We have discerned that his company was attacked..."
Elizabeth stared at the letter not reading, her eyes since lost to the inevitable cascade of grief that was to wash over her. Her tears came with no sound, she simply felt numb. It was only when she walked to her daughters crib and looked at her blissfully sleeping face did she collapse at the side of the cot in waves of sobbing and the unrelenting crushing that only comes with the break of a heart.
Her wailing awoke Emily and she immediately moved to comfort the crying child; she seemed to be all that was left in the world. She sat in one of the chairs in her kitchen and cried her face contorted and red as she suffered the loss, her daughter in her arms drifting back to sleep.
***
"But what of the Army pension?"
"I'm afraid Mrs Richardson that it's not enough! Due to non payment of rent the bank has foreclosed your property, be out by the end of next week. Oh and uh I'm sorry for your loss" and with that the portly debt collector left. Two months since the death of John and Elizabeth was about to lose everything save her Emily. This was it, she was to leave these humble surroundings in the poorer part of London; she gazed around the four wooden walls that contained everything a life needs: a straw mat bed, only half slept in now, a stove and a table with chairs.
She looked once again at her daughter and a new steely resolve flowered somewhere in the darkness and she decided to get to Plymouth. "We have family there..." she said to Emily, she stared back "...they will take us in for a while at least" Emily smiled in the way that only the innocent can muster. She didn't know why she felt so determined nor did she care; she just prayed it lasted long enough to help her and her child survive.
Elizabeth looked at her meagre possessions as she pondered her choice, "God help me" she uttered.
She began packing.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-06-22 19:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-18 16:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Write on!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-06-18 09:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just not enough to judge by really.
Sad letter posted to a woman who at the time, in the circumstances you describe her living, probably wouldnt have been able to read or have a very basic understanding of reading. Maybe better if she was being told it by a priest or something reading the letter for her. Could make it even worse for her.
As said below. really isnt enough here. But keep em comming and we shall see.
So is she turning to prostitution next? Moll Flanders yeah!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-18 08:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-18 06:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you are writing this as you go, write more and post it less often. That way, what you have in your post is long enough to capture interest and the post stays out there longer so more people can see it before your next installment knocks the previous off the front page. The story is good, you just need to work Uber and the Uberites to get and hold interest.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-18 06:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you are writing this as you go, write more and post it less often. That way, what you have in your post is long enough to capture interest and the post stays out there longer so more people can see it before your next installment knocks the previous off the front page. The story is good, you just need to work Uber and the Uberites to get and hold interest.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-18 03:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kind Uber fellows?
uh, yeah. Good luck with that.