Fat people: an untapped natural resource (1170 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jasumthin (View user info) at 2009-06-19 08:35:05 EDT
I blame fat people for the state of the economy. While helping out in the retail shipping department at work the other day I came across sizes of shirts and pants reserved for people that make Oprah look healthy. I was surprised to see that the prices for these items were all the same regardless of the size. If I where a medium or large t-shirt, and some Jabba The Hutt looking lardo wears a size that looks more like a bowling score, who uses more material?
"I'll take Chubby People for $400 Alex".
It wouldn't be a discriminatory practice. It takes more material for their clothes so they should have to pay more. If I go to the gas station and fill up the tank on my Monte Carlo and some douche bag next to me fills up the tank on his Hummer, I pay less because my car has a smaller tank. It's not rocket science.
Charging fat people will put more money into the economy. It will also serve as an incentive for them to get thin, which in turn will address the issue of the growing number of overweight people in the country. They won't want to keep paying higher prices so they will start working out and buying diet stuff, again stimulating the economy.
While you're out today, just look around and see how many overweight people there are. They're an untapped natural resource and it's time we start using them to benefit the country.
User Reviews
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2009-06-23 17:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 years mandatory military service for both genders upon the completion of high school. If you receive an honorable discharge your college/ trade school (depending on intellectual aptitude)will be paid off up to a certain ammount. This will force fat lazy kids to become fit when they must meet the physical requirements of military service. Thus likley cutting back on long term health issues, and give some people who have no hope for a future more options. All for the small price of a possible horifficly violent death thousands of miles from your home and families in order to preserve western dominance. It works in Germany, and Israel, and Greece Etc..
Sign me up!
Submitted by THERAPlST (user info) at 2009-06-23 06:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-06-22 07:08:13 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're obviously a shill for the clothing industry. Charging fat people more for their apparel wouldn't help the economy in general--it would only benfit the clothing industry at the expense of the food and beverage industry.
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4 words. Shut The Fuck Up.
Charging fatass' more would do wonders for America, and does make sense. And at the expense of the food & beverage industry? I think not. It takes more materials to make these 400 lb virgin ex D&D douches so why don't we charge them more? I'll tell you why we don't, we are Americans, and fatass' unite. Why should we be paying the same for less? It takes the same amount of material for 1 XXXL shirt as it does for four of mine. Tbh I think being obese should be a crime. it brings down the country's health and overall moral. Unless you have some LEGIT ass reason for being a fatass go on a damned diet.
On a more existential standpoint, why bother? Those fatass's will be dead far before I or any other common people. And before anyone compares me to Hitler, remember, obesity is a choice, ethnicity is NOT.
*My sincere apologies to anyone who has an illness preventing them from losing weight.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-06-22 13:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you could have done so much more with this. fleshed it out a bit. made it fatter.
Submitted by Bobdacow (user info) at 2009-06-22 11:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, obviously we need to melt them down and use their blubber to phase out oil...like with whales!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-06-22 10:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're obviously a shill for the clothing industry. Charging fat people more for their apparel wouldn't help the economy in general--it would only benfit the clothing industry at the expense of the food and beverage industry.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-22 07:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2009-06-20 10:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-19 13:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dangerdude - big cats are faster than you or me, and you're the smaller (ergo less threatening) prey. I'd bet the cougars go for you first. That's probably true on an island and in a bar.
As to my level of mountainside juicyness, remember that by the time we start considering cannibalism we've been starving for a week or so. That is to say, you all have. I, however, am just down to my fighting weight. I can cook flank steak over a fire. Very lean, very tasty.
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you are clearly a very observant individual, seeing as you immediatly pointed out my attractivness to older sexy women, so tell you what; if we're ever on a plane that crashes on a mountainside, Lets join forces and take out the weak and the other troublemakers. It'll be like survivor, except higher stakes and we'll have to never speak a word of it to anyone after we're rescued.
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That's a plan.
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2009-06-22 02:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ATTN FATTIES: PUT DOWN FORK, PICK UP KNIFE, KILL SELF.
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2009-06-21 03:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you hear about that wolf shirt on Amazon that got all of those crazy reviews? Well, that company charges the fatties way more.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2009-06-20 15:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't mind fat people.
When the apocalypse comes, they'll be easier to catch and eat than skinny folks.
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2009-06-20 10:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-19 13:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dangerdude - big cats are faster than you or me, and you're the smaller (ergo less threatening) prey. I'd bet the cougars go for you first. That's probably true on an island and in a bar.
As to my level of mountainside juicyness, remember that by the time we start considering cannibalism we've been starving for a week or so. That is to say, you all have. I, however, am just down to my fighting weight. I can cook flank steak over a fire. Very lean, very tasty.
----
you are clearly a very observant individual, seeing as you immediatly pointed out my attractivness to older sexy women, so tell you what; if we're ever on a plane that crashes on a mountainside, Lets join forces and take out the weak and the other troublemakers. It'll be like survivor, except higher stakes and we'll have to never speak a word of it to anyone after we're rescued.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2009-06-20 07:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
*pulls out soapbox*
My biggest problem with obesity isn't the obese. It's the people that want to scapegoat the fast food industry. Yes, fast food makes you fat. On the other hand, ain't nobody making you eat it. Say what you want, but you can prepare a healthy meal at home for a family of four for less than it take to feed that same family at Burger King.
I want the media and the moral goose steppers to stop trying to save people that obviously don't want to be saved. Like with cigarettes (as per FG down there). I want Americans to understand that Americans have the freedom to be fat. They have the freedom to smoke. They have the freedom to do drugs. They have the freedom to get plastered (yet nobody stops this, although it is a huge social burden)
Stop with the "costs blah blah a year...taxes...TAXES!" I pay for my own healthcare. So does the majority of America. Until it becomes government run, this is an invalid argument.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-06-20 03:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just sin tax the hell out of junk and fast food. If they did it to cigarettes....
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-06-19 21:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've banged a few fatties and I've always enjoyed it. They always have the softest tits and warmest berjiners. Plus, they are really appreciative in bed, and they will do some of the sluttiest things that you've ever imagined. I'm talking porn star stuff. Ass to mouth stuff. Always a good time.
Submitted by Darthplastic (user info) at 2009-06-19 20:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am really hunrgy for some bacon right now.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-19 20:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I remember.
My grandmother always said "Pretty is as pretty does".
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-19 17:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beauty is only skin deep...
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-06-19 16:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fat is also a great burning fuel.
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That, and so much more! Blubber can be used to make make-up, soaps, grease, all manner of handy things. And best of all, it can be used for Bio-Diesel! Energy independence, here we come. You have it all wrong about harnessing this resourse by charging for t-shirts. We need to start harpooning these fuckers and using them to produce commodities for a whole new production sector. Start with hartman and his wife shamu.
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2009-06-19 15:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And make soap from their liposuction results (as seen in Fight club). Some money there.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-06-19 15:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They usually do charge more for sizes larger than XL (check out T-shirts as an example). Also, fat people generally consume more food and/or alcohol, so they are helping the economy.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-19 14:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 13:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-19 12:19:40 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
big cats are faster than you or me, and you're the smaller (ergo less threatening) prey. I'd bet the cougars go for you first. That's probably true on an island and in a bar.
====
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 13:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-19 12:19:40 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
big cats are faster than you or me, and you're the smaller (ergo less threatening) prey. I'd bet the cougars go for you first. That's probably true on an island and in a bar.
====
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-19 13:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dangerdude - big cats are faster than you or me, and you're the smaller (ergo less threatening) prey. I'd bet the cougars go for you first. That's probably true on an island and in a bar.
As to my level of mountainside juicyness, remember that by the time we start considering cannibalism we've been starving for a week or so. That is to say, you all have. I, however, am just down to my fighting weight. I can cook flank steak over a fire. Very lean, very tasty.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-19 13:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uber collectively would be worth a helluva lot less, as a whole, under this plan.
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2009-06-19 12:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey skrap, when you get to that island and there's a hungry cougar waitin for you, which one of you do you think is going to get away, and which gets eaten?
Also, while you might live longer in the cold when your plane crashes on the mountainside, who do you think the rest of the survivors are going to decide would taste the best? I'll give you a hint, when I'm shopping for hamburger meat, I pick the 80-20 chuck instead of the 90% lean cause it's way jucier.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-06-19 12:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
poor trolling atttepmt is poor
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wal-Mart has been charging extra for XL, XXL, & XXXL shirts for years -- You're not breaking some new ground there Copernicus ;)
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SKRAP rules pass it on.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm fat - earned every bit of it, too. It's not a 'glandular condition' and I don't have an unnaturally slow metabolism. I'm over 33 and I eat steaks and bacon and bread and drink beer like I'm not, so I get fat. If it annoys you, well, then I guess you'll have to walk around being annoyed all day. You be average weight and pissed off, I'll be fat and happy. We'll see who has the heart attack first. Probably me, OK, but even so I'll still have spent more time smiling than you.
Until then I'm insulated against cold, can go longer without food or water than a thin person, and I can float on water with my face above the surface without any physical effort beyond timing my breathing. So, when our cruise ship sinks, I'll make it to the deserted island in fine condition. And you may rest assured, Mr. Stickfigure McSinkypants, that if I do decide to drag you along with me to said island, it will only be so I can cook and eat you should the rescue ships be more than a few hours delayed.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fat is also a great burning fuel.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the cut of your jib.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-19 10:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with you 100%. Tax them by the pound like beef.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://dchero.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/hungry-fat-girl.jpg
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fat people are pulling this down with their negative ratings.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not That I 'Like' fat girls, it just seemed that when I was growing up by the time I dragged my lazy drunken arse onto the dance floor, or whatever meat station i was at, it only tended to be the slightly more voluptuously figured ladies left. Luckily I soon realised that staying sober longer actually helped cut this out.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha 'bathroom dweller.'
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you better believe it Bathroom Dweller!!!!!
R A G E
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are you telling me off SGT!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sgt, fg is totally hitting on you
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Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Watch it pal. I'll still give you a noogie. I don't care where you shop.
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Emission, stop it.
and FG its spelled "N O O K I E"
just kidding, dont dissect me...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Likes fat girls below
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-06-19 09:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think a world without fat people would be a sad sad world, most comedy would die a death if we didnt have them to pick on.
I have nothing against fat people, actually in my time I have had quite a bit of myself against fat people
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sgt, fg is totally hitting on you
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Watch it pal. I'll still give you a noogie. I don't care where you shop.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
total softy below
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sarge--- :( Not really, I don't.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
has a good plan below.
I <3 Forensic...
even though she hates fattys like me.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just sin tax the hell out of junk and fast food. If they did it to cigarettes....
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Or we could eat them, McDonalds cheeseburger is fat people!!!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you ever shopped in a Big and Tall store?
I have, and lemme tell you, we lardos get charged WAY more for clothes than you skinny fucks. They exploit it because they know we dont have a choice but to buy clothes from them. I mean what are we gonna do? Diet and exercise??!?!?
You sir and a nincompoop. Suck my big fat dick.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate fatties too
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-19 08:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what a revolutionary idea