I Got A Good Conspiracy Theory... Re: Dead Celebrities (680 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by miss berry (View user info) at 2009-06-25 20:17:18 EDT
I realize that I may be referred to as "delusional" after I present this theory, but just hear me out. I have believed in this theory for several months now with a fierceness that surpasses my belief in Jesus Christ himself.
So think about this shit.
I believe that some celebrities die. I believe that a higher number of celebrities "die." Let me explain my theory in a way that makes it sound like it's factual.
Celebrities don't get health insurance benefits through television, music, or movie studios. They receive a far better benefit. You see, the television, music and movie studios have purchased an island. Celebrity Island. This island is never to be spoken of. But what this island provides is living space, for the rest of select celebrity's lives, away from the prying eyes of the media, crazy stalker fans, paparazzi and other various forms of nonsense.
How it works:
The island opened in 1960. The plan was that between 1960 and 1970, 50 actors/actresses, musicians and other famous people were allowed to come to the island. The maximum capacity is 50. What happens is that celebrities who are frequently followed, and just generally too famous for their own good, can apply to live on the ultra-secret Celebrity Island. So the outside world believes these celebrities are dead, when in fact, they are just chillin' on the island. Initially, it had to be a rather slow progression filling the island, so that people would not become suspicious. The island will only accept new applicants if 1 of the 50 celebrity inhabitants dies...for real.
Here are some of the original 50 members allowed on Celebrity Island:
1. Vivien Leigh
2. Judy Garland
3. Clark Gable
4. Ernest Hemmingway
5. Carl Jung (the psychologist - let's face it...there was probably a need for him)
6. Marilyn Monroe
7. John F. Kennedy
8. Malcolm X
9. Walt Disney
10. Martin Luther King, Jr.
11. Robert F. Kennedy (wanted to chill with brother)
12. Jimi Hendrix
13. Janice Joplin
Life on Celebrity Island:
Life on Celebrity Island is not as comfortable as celebrities are accustomed to. There is running water and electricity, but no internet, phones, paper or pens (writing letters to family is a no-no!) or other commodities, such as air conditioning. Therefore, the brats must really consider how badly they would like some privacy before applying to live on the island. Celebrities can apply for admission to the island, contingent on their ability to follow the rules. One of the rules is that they can never speak of the island. And since they are "dead" once they get to the island, they are not permitted to contact anyone by phone, email, letter... morse code, umm... or a coconut radio.
It is my belief that 3 celebrities have died in the last 2 days (Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson), because, as the theory states, some of the celebrities on the island have actually died this time. Ed McMahon stated that he was tired of being a broke man and he wanted Perez Hilton to stop talking about his troubles, so he replaced John Lennon ("died" 1980). Farrah Fawcett actually died for real. Sad, sad. And Michael Jackson was sick of being categorized as a kid-toucher, hiding from the authorities, and generally being mocked, so he replaced Elvis Presley ("died" 1977). You might wonder, readers, why John Lennon and Elvis Presley died over the last two days. They were two of music's finest. As mentioned, Celebrity Island does not have air conditioning. And it is hotter than a bitch. So they died.
THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU JUDGE.
Ask me questions about Celebrity Island, if they arise.
I am no ETS, but I will not back down from my conspiracy theory.
User Reviews
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2009-06-28 14:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you called George Noory or Art Bell with this info? I'm sure they may have some information.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-06-26 18:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Ze plane! Ze plane!"
Et tu, Tattoo?
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-26 18:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfortunately, Anna Nicole Smith is there too. :(
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2009-06-26 09:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
River Phoenix
John Belushi
John Candy
Hunter S. Thompson
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-26 08:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh im so bored, i have even started another Jessie the ELPHDOG masterpiece. Trouble is people keep looking over my shoulder asking why im drawing a picture of really weird shit, it's really not that easy to explain.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-26 08:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a wise, wise lady.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-26 07:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2009-06-26 05:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
jim morrison too cool for that island?
stevie ray vaugn is there for sure.
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No, Jim Morrison is not too cool for the island. I am sure he is there... if he didn't die for real.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-26 05:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how long have you been sitting on this post?
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You mean how long have I been holding out my conspiracy theory? Several months.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-26 07:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-25 23:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you gonna show me your hole?
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Not anytime soon. :(
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-06-26 01:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can there be a crazy doctor there who experiments on them by crossing them with animals? PLEASE?
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Well, you know, there's at least like... an actor that played a doctor on a soap opera on the island. That's how they receive medical care... So, it's possible that with this "doctor's" expertise, there are human/animal hybrids.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-26 07:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-26 05:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how long have you been sitting on this post?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2009-06-26 05:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
jim morrison too cool for that island?
stevie ray vaugn is there for sure.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-06-26 04:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for putting the idea of Malcolm X and Walt Disney playing shuffle board in my head.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-06-26 01:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://danielmountain.com/liveleak/death/chris-farley_files/farley2.jpg
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Umm... What the hell is that thing in his mouth?
I guess he's not on the island.
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I had to Google it because I'm a freak. It's froth, probably caused by the fluid in his lungs. It's sad to see he's clutching a rosary. Apparently, it wasn't quick.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-06-26 01:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can there be a crazy doctor there who experiments on them by crossing them with animals? PLEASE?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-25 23:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you gonna show me your hole?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-06-25 22:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe. I love crazy conspiracy theories.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-25 21:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Think about it.
It's good shit.
I may start a website. Or just add to an existing Conspiracy Theory website.
Where is ETS when you need him? I could really use a link drop here.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-06-25 21:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wat?&??
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-25 21:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tupac AND Biggie are totally chilling on the Island.
How do you think it is that Tupac is still making music? :)
Submitted by BadCompany (user info) at 2009-06-25 21:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tupac
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it's half a Twinky or... a portion of banana.
OR OMG... HE WAS GAY AND BIT OFF A MAN'S WEE WEE AND THEN THE DUDE KILLED HIM AND BLED TO DEATH IN THE ALLEY BEHIND THE HOTEL!!
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or it was just a very elaborate "death." I'd say it's 50/50 he's on the island.
My guess is dried bile on his inflated tongue maybe?
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://danielmountain.com/liveleak/death/chris-farley_files/farley2.jpg
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Umm... What the hell is that thing in his mouth?
I guess he's not on the island.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://danielmountain.com/liveleak/death/chris-farley_files/farley2.jpg
Submitted by JohnnyBurnside (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Let me explain my theory in a way that makes it sound like it's factual. "
Still doesn't sound factual. Try again.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2009-06-25 20:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. - You know Curt Cobain is there because he woke up next to Courtney Love one day and was like "I'm sick of this shit. Add me to the list."