What is your earliest memory? (675 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.15 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth Famine (View user info) at 2009-07-04 15:27:47 EDT
When you travel back through the corridors of thought to it's very beginning what waits for you there?
Me I see fragments, a firelit bedroom, a bottle of Jack Daniels on a stool behind my parents seated before the fire. but even farther back than that I can see.
The very first memory I have, where I know who I am, where I am, and what I am doing is simple
I am sitting in a high chair, eating bacon. Wearing only a diaper.
I hadn't mastered the art of swallowing food once it was chewed up.
So I would chew the bacon until all the flavor was gone and then deposit the grey mass on the tray before me.
Then it was on to the next piece!
Bacon is life!
User Reviews
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-10-07 05:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Flash bulbs going off, warm camera lights, someone called Gayvid telling me to pull my panties lower.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-07 04:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A car accident. I remeber all the windows shattering around me as we got T-boned by a drunkard. It was aweseome.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-07 03:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're on!!!!! :)
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-07-08 23:12:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-07-06 16:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sitting on my fathers shoulders on the way to a park that had something called The Umbrella.
They've been banned now.
It was this big umbrealla shaped (no shit? really?) thing that someone (my huge, strong father)swung round while kids hung on for their life.
Seriously - kids died..
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-06 11:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
boobs.
i was 2-ish.
some chick my parents had hired to babysit us had her boyfriend over. he went to the bathroom to 'help her', and i walked in. BLAMMO, one of the driving forces of life, staring me in the face, in all their glory. they were magnificent. walking that magical line where they're still pert but slightly heavy, soft pink areola, stiff nipples jutting forward eagerly...
my parents continued to use her services for maybe the next 4 years, and every time it was announced that she'd be watching us, that glorious image would come to mind, along with the hope that i'd see them again. but alas, it was not to be.
*sigh*
anyway, other than that set of tits, i don't have many memories before about the age of 4.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-07-06 09:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-07-06 03:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember when I was three going to pick up my baby sister (we're all adopted) from the hospital. My brother six years my senior explained to me in the backseat or my parents old '64 general motors E.H. that I wouldn't be coming home with the rest of the family because basically it was a baby exchange. My parents didn't think I was girly enough apparently and were going to upgrade. According to my brother he had argued FOR me that I was indeed girly enough, but my folks weren't convinced because they thought I was too fat and ugly.
Naturally I was upset and aghast, but too young to know what aghast meant, so I asked my parents through my snivelling tears if they were indeed going to swap me for a better baby because I was ugly.
"Don't be silly danger" they said, staring straight out the windshield and without looking back, exactly the way my brother said they would. "We love you JUST as much as the new baby, we just want another one."
I was upset and I would miss my new sister but I had already been given up by one set of parents - why not another?, I was going to really miss Mr. Pockets though, my plush toy monkey, who my brother said I couldn't take in the car on the way to the hospital because I would need to learn how to be a man and not always have him around, and that to trust him because now was as good a time as any to start learning this lesson, and that he knew what he was talking about as he condescendingly patted me on the head and threw Mr. Pockets to our dog who LOVED plush toys, and then told me as he held the car door open that I couldn't have a window seat.
:(
and people wonder why i'm all angsty and neurotic.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-07-05 13:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think it was my parents bringing home my baby brother, which would have put me at 2 years, 9 1/2 months.
Doug Adams got it wrong. No. 44 is the meaning of life.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-05 11:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Watching a black & white TV in my parents' "den" when JFK got shot- or perhaps it was his funeral prosession.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-07-05 11:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
President Eisenhower's funeral...
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2009-07-05 10:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for bacon.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-07-05 04:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My father throwing a hand-grenade during new year 1969. The neighborhood turned quiet after that and the next morning there was a nice crater next to the track in front of our house.
It happened 00:02 making it my earliest memory.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-07-04 19:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-04 18:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The review below is almost Lungfishian in quality. Well done Bubba.
You know, if all of your reviews were like that one you would be a much more enjoyable fella. It's your spastic shut-the-fuck-upping, manic name calling and horrible attempts to stir the shit that people find so annoying about you.
Just sayin'. Happy 4th of July.
============
Moi? Stir shit? Heh.
The review is the real truth. My memories could fill a fucking book. At least, a weird book.
Oh, and Rob? Shut the fuck up!
:D
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-07-04 18:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad was shoveling the coals out of this old cast iron wood burning stove that we had, I was dicking around, balancing on the fresh logs even though I had been told repeatedly to stop, I slipped and fell elbow deep into the coals. I had 3rd degree burns from the tips of my fingers to the top of my elbow on the right arm.
I also remember trying to balance on the stack of books (having been told repeatedly to stop), slipping off and tearing a chunk of my ear off on the corner of my parents water bed. I was approximately the same age.
Also, I remember my mom giving me a hair cut, telling me repeatedly to quit squirming around, then slicing the tip of my ear fresh off because I was dicking around and not listening. (other ear)
I can't honestly tell you which of these three happened first, but does it really matter? I was 2 years old.
My first memory is of tragedy.
Oh yeah, once I was taking a bath and I had decided that I was done, as I was getting out I heard my mom screaming that a snake was in the kitchen so I decided that my bath could run a little longer.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-07-04 18:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-07-04 17:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is your bacon 42?
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Doug Adams reference.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-04 18:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The review below is almost Lungfishian in quality. Well done Bubba.
You know, if all of your reviews were like that one you would be a much more enjoyable fella. It's your spastic shut-the-fuck-upping, manic name calling and horrible attempts to stir the shit that people find so annoying about you.
Just sayin'. Happy 4th of July.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-07-04 17:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was very young we lived about 50 yards from the train tracks. My older brother and sisters told me that some night the train would run off of the tracks and "get me." One night I was standing in my crib yelling. "Don't let it get me!"
My parents were pissed, and the older siblings got in a lot of trouble. I was about two and a half at the time.
When I was just over three, my sister and I were watching a western on our brand new television. I asked her why only one guy was dressed in black, and she said it was because he was a crook. The image in my mind was that of the fried egg my mother had given me for breakfast. To this day, when I hear the word crook, I think of fried eggs. Yeah, I'm fucking weird.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-07-04 17:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is your bacon 42?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-07-04 17:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
looking at two giant milk-mounds and deciding right then and there i was going to go pro
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-04 16:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your mom.
Submitted by bustedcompass (user info) at 2009-07-04 16:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Having a nightmare at 3 and waking the entire house up with my screaming.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-07-04 16:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember alternately fucking two girls while a third squeegeed my balls with a shamwow.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-07-04 15:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looking forward to the comments here....
I think I remember being a squid.