Attn: BEELTEA (1040 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.35 on 61 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (View user info) at 2009-07-05 16:07:10 EDT
Jamie Moyer doesn't love you, and he never will.
Sorry.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-03 14:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
took 'em fucking long enough to do it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-10-03 11:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WE GOT THE EAST!
GO PHILS WOO!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-29 00:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
3 so far
*runs away*
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-07-28 23:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WELL I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE SEASON YOU'RE ONLY WINNING BY TWO TONIGHT
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-22 23:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm wondering how we're all going to deal with TWO Pedros. I'm quite fond of the one we have already, thanks.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-07-22 22:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The whole pathetic division sucks huge cock.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-22 21:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
trust me, i was rooting harder for the phucking phils today than any of their fans.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-22 19:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sigh.
I'm sitting here absently watching/listening to the game currently in the 5th inning, and see your review from...5 hours ago. I think to myself:
"..."
"Is he..from the future?"
Then I realize I'm watching the encore on CSN.
So I look it up to find out we lost 10-5 this afternoon.
I guess I should thank you for saving me another hour plus of misery.
Oh well, we had a good 10-game winning streak.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-22 14:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF, Moyer?
you're letting that giant rage-baby Zambrano show you up?
come the fuck on.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-07-14 09:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 19:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY I AM NOT 40
---
You are, however, 4'0"
In heels.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 22:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey joedaddy- Just saw them take 2 of 3 from the Rays...Sat with the players' wives (and girlfriends) for all three games.
After not scoring for the first 15 innings of my "road trip", the final result was a fucking miracle.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-07-13 21:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday :)
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-07-13 20:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-06 07:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bily Beane has thoroughly fucked this year's team up...why stop the destruction now?
***
having season tickets, since 1973, in section 117, somewhere in front of row 12, i can say without a doubt, that i approve, and agree, with the truth of this message
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 19:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY I AM NOT 40
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eeeeeeeeee thank you scourge and Daddy-O!
MY FRIENDS BOUGHT ME AN HD LCD TV FOR MY BD SO I CAN COUNT THE SWEAT DROPLETS AS THEY ROLL DOWN JAYSON WERTH'S FACE MMMMMMMMMMM
Just kidding, he's too cool to sweat.
(My friends are fucking awesome. And so are you two.)
Imma watch the HR Derby over BD beer yaaaaaaay
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 14:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happy 40th birthday.
or however fucking old you are now.
who knows?
BEING YOUNG AT HEART IS WHAT MATTERS.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-07-13 13:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lishy this day is [age deleted]
(We can't permit the age repeated)
However, Lishy, be not concerned
Although this website sucks the worm
A birthday post still has its place
To draw a smile upon your face;
Instead of posts, this short review
Will simply, Lishy, have to do.
Oh, how it pleased the gods to see
Your height capped off at four foot three
To prove that good things come inside
Small packages (oh mmm, yes I'd)
But of your elfishness, no more
Let's celebrate the Uberwhore
Whom Snark both faps to and adores,
Your attitude, your wit - men know
This translates well when down below,
The countless circles jerked, the heat,
Cast from the right hand of my seat,
The willingness to use index or thumb
To stimulate the, well, you know the one.
Your only fault: blind loyalty
To sports teams from nearby Philly,
But if J. Werth would fit inside a box
I'd wrap him up in just his Phillies socks.
So Happy Birthday, Valerie
From Ubersite and Honalee
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-10 21:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Y HALO THAR JONNYX!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-10 21:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OOOOOOOOOH SALT IN THE WOUNDS!
http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090710&content_id=5802614&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-07-10 02:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-07-10 00:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what is this baseball you speak of? is it liek foosball?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-10 00:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-07-07 14:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks. I love it.
Not making excuses, but you kind of just swept a minor league team.
===
Wooow..that's harsh. Like something a Phillies fan might say.
And our boy Shane got voted in!
..I only voted 6 times or so.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-07 14:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gracious acceptance below.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-07-07 14:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks. I love it.
Not making excuses, but you kind of just swept a minor league team.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-07 12:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You never know. I read the sportsline baseball boards, and last week there was some Phillie fan posting on all the national league team boards that we all need to start voting for Jimmy Rollins because he was a better defender than Hanley Ramirez.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-07 12:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shlongy? Joking???? ME????
I sure wish I was at that game last night, though. I imagine that I will be seeing him this weekend.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-07 11:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldnt be surprised if Anderson is a perennial All Star with the stuff he's got. I assume you're joking about this year though.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-07 11:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't follow al pitchers much, but two hitting the redsox the other night was pretty fucking impressive on his part.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-07 10:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I cannot believe that Brett Anderson did not make the AL All Star squad.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-07 10:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-07 02:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-07 00:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i voted on stats for the cardinals to be able to get home field advantage in the ws. even though it really means fuckall.
and who could you possibly have voted for from boston? there are far better position players in the al's other teams at every single spot. blah, i say. blah.
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Jason Bay is playing really well, but besides that, Pedroia? I am fine with him getting votes, but it's almost unfathomable to me that he won the position ahead of Hill. Youkilis is a fat fuck and I hate him, but besides that there are four other first basemen in the AL people should have been voting for. Morneau first among them.
I hate that fans just vote for their sweethearts. The only Brewers I voted for were Braun and Fielder. Simply put, nobody else on the roster deserved my vote. Gallardo should have made the team, but I understand why Charlie Manuel didn't take him.
oh and the brewers are going to the ws.
-----
oh yeah, forgot Bay and he's one of the few redsox players i like
and the fact that Youkilis and Texeira (anyone really) outstripped Morneau by so much is really indicative of how stupid some fans are. Morneau, and the Twins organization in general, are overlooked because of the small market share, while a million bandwagoners and pink hat girls throw up votes for 'that one cute guy from the team my boyfriend likes.'
i guess i get the vote for fielder on your part, team loyalty and he DOES have the numbers and talent... but it has to be rough being a nl 1st baseman right now.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-07-07 03:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-07 02:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-07 00:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i voted on stats for the cardinals to be able to get home field advantage in the ws. even though it really means fuckall.
and who could you possibly have voted for from boston? there are far better position players in the al's other teams at every single spot. blah, i say. blah.
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Jason Bay is playing really well, but besides that, Pedroia? I am fine with him getting votes, but it's almost unfathomable to me that he won the position ahead of Hill. Youkilis is a fat fuck and I hate him, but besides that there are four other first basemen in the AL people should have been voting for. Morneau first among them.
I hate that fans just vote for their sweethearts. The only Brewers I voted for were Braun and Fielder. Simply put, nobody else on the roster deserved my vote. Gallardo should have made the team, but I understand why Charlie Manuel didn't take him.
oh and the brewers are going to the ws.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-07 02:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-07-06 20:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I voted for Y. Molina and Pujols for the All-star game. Also, David Wright (thats for BLT), and Jimmy Rollins (that's for sacrilicious). Then I checked their records and wondered why the hell I voted for Jimmy Rollins.
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I think a lot of people did that. Rollins should have gotten approximately zero votes this year.
The shit of it is, people voted for him because he's a former MVP, but so is Justin Morneau (who has a shot at the triple crown in the AL this year) and most voters probably didn't even know his name because Teixeira and that fat bald fuck from Boston both play in the AL. Dustin Pedroia is starting for the same reason, even though he had one of the weakest MVP seasons to date and Aaron Hill is destroying him in every statistical category for that team north of the border, eh.
Seriously, the fact that they don't put the stats next to the players' names on the online ballots is frustrating to me. The fans suck pretty bad at voting. Carl Crawford wasn't even named a starter. Josh Hamilton?!? come on. Crawford should have led the pack in votes this year. Good power numbers, great average, great defense, and he's leading baseball in stolen bases. Good lord. Not only does he have the best numbers in the AL (second in baseball to Pujols), but voters have three chances to tab the best outfielder so even if they fuck up and vote for Hamilton or Jacoby Ellsbury with their first two tries, they can still get it right with the third. And he finished fourth, behind a guy who had only average numbers when he WASN'T on the DL all fucking year.
At least the fans aren't allowed to vote for pitchers. What a fucking disaster that would be.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-07 00:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i voted on stats for the cardinals to be able to get home field advantage in the ws. even though it really means fuckall.
and who could you possibly have voted for from boston? there are far better position players in the al's other teams at every single spot. blah, i say. blah.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-06 22:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aww..you guys are so sweet voting for some of our boys. Makes me feel bad the only team I voted for otherwise was for the poet, who hasn't even visited my post I see.
And where the F is Beeltea? My gloating is getting cold.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-06 22:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HUGS ALL AROUND.
22-1.
THAT'S TWENTY-TWO TO ONE!
GO PHILS WOO!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-06 21:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Could the A's possibly get three more outs in Boston...without allowing a hit?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-06 21:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i voted for all those guys, except rollins. i went for hanley ramirez at ss.
i gave lish the utley vote though... can't deny the man's talent.
of the guys who get press on that team he is easily the most deserving of all that he gets. howard is pretty good, but overrated. werth is meh. rollins is fucking horrible this year... still a fun team to watch overall.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-07-06 20:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I voted for Y. Molina and Pujols for the All-star game. Also, David Wright (thats for BLT), and Jimmy Rollins (that's for sacrilicious). Then I checked their records and wondered why the hell I voted for Jimmy Rollins.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-06 20:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the Cardinals have managed to be in first or tied for first pretty much all season. with a half team of rookies. and john mozeliak.
i hate john mozeliak. so so very much.
i'm about to the point where i think if you could field yadier molina, albert, chris carpenter, and round it out with six high school players, they'd still pull it out more often than not.
i fear the yankees are going to offer albert a $40M a year contract and he's going to leave.
:(
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-06 20:23:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beer IS good.
group hug.
high five.
TOP GUN HIGH FIVE.
another group hug for good measure.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-07-06 20:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Arizona has won five of 27 series so far. Pretty awesome.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-06 20:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, right? I have the worst luck at missing good early innings lately. Imma walk down to the bar to watch the rest on the big screens. Beer is good.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-06 19:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fuck, 10 runs in the first inning tonight?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-07-06 16:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know baseball :-(
It looks great though
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2009-07-06 13:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
go pirates!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-07-06 13:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This sport should be played on the ice imo.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-07-06 12:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 World Series Champions!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-06 07:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holiday can pack his bags...Bily Beane has thoroughly fucked this year's team up...why stop the destruction now?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-06 02:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-05 18:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're lucky that this piece of shit post is about baseball.
I had to deduct a point because;
1) It wasn't about Shlongy
b) It wasn't about the A's.
...Who I will be seeing for 3 games this coming Friday in Tampa, I might add.
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How do you feel about the Holliday situation? Do you think he gets dealt before the deadline?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-07-05 22:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ol' Man Moyer still has it.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-07-05 20:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Balls.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-07-05 19:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2009-07-05 19:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rareley do you find an actual phillies fan, +2 for your existence
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-05 18:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're lucky that this piece of shit post is about baseball.
I had to deduct a point because;
1) It wasn't about Shlongy
b) It wasn't about the A's.
...Who I will be seeing for 3 games this coming Friday in Tampa, I might add.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-05 17:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh saccy, you mean girl.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-05 17:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
saying he looks scummy is racist?
ummm... okay.
*pats head*
*walks away*
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2009-07-05 17:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grown man playing rounders...Meh.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-05 16:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joey- All is fair in love and baseball.
Scourge, I'm surprised at you. That is a terribly racist thing to say. JRoll looks like an all-American boy to me, where I live, in 2009.
(It's Carlos Ruiz who looks like a day worker.)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-05 16:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jimmy rollins looks like the sort of guy you'd see hanging out at a day labor office.
and jamie moyer? isn't he about 68 years old?
also, this: http://www.redorbit.com/news/general/1001052/cardinals_hand_phillies_10000th_loss/index.html , was really cool.
+2 baseball
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-05 16:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's harsh, Saccy, oh so harsh.
Harsh, but fair.