spit or swallow? (8796 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.89 on 163 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <coley.at.kindnessmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-08-18 03:45:40 EDT
Okay. I know this subject has been somewhat covered here at "Le Uber". However, being a first-time poster, I'm gonna hit it anyway. Hit the subject that is..nevermind.
I hear that this is an age old question: "Spit or swallow?"
But I have a few questions in response. If you're not swallowing, what the hell are you doing? Do you bring a garbage can over ahead of time? Do you get one of those feed-bag things that horses wear and spit into THAT when you're done?
Do you spit on your bed and make him lie in the wet spot? Do you run to the bathroom and unload it into the bathtub? Do you spit in your potted plants? (which, by the way, being 100% organic matter and all, could possibly make for a good fertilizer....)
I just don't understand the concept. Once it's in your mouth you might as well swallow your..um..pride.
Besides, it's got protein. Especially good for you vegetarians.
User Reviews
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm. Point taken. I suppose, when considering the possible reactions to an ejaculating wang, it's probably best to think of the behaviors as a contiuum, rather than a discrete set of possible actions.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-03 20:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well now, calling a woman a janx dodger just because she doesn't catch with her face neglects a significant amount of people, too. The fingerpainters, for instance.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-02-03 20:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, this post completely neglects a significant number of people. I speak, of course, of the janx dodgers. The women who avoid the question entirely by making sure their mouth is not even in the same zip code as the wang when it goes off.
Then again, I suppose you could just group the dodgers in with the spitters, although the dodgers don't have to frantically look for a plant after the deed is done.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-14 21:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu n00b
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-14 20:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's good to revisit the classics once and a while.
Submitted by Kurfsec (user info) at 2007-05-17 15:35:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can count how many times I've spit. Twice. Seriously.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-10 07:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should of known your first post would of been filth...heh
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-03-04 18:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 21:21:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
St_Jimmy: double up?
that's BRILLIANT!!!
but what selfless man would allow such a thing? It may be difficult to find a willing martyr.
____________________________
Good point, that might be tough. What is the equivalent of Craig's List for Hippyville, Oregon?
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 13:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-03 12:35:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
c) snowball.
======
heheh...BRILLIANT!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-03 12:35:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
c) snowball.
Submitted by TheScaryGuy11 (user info) at 2007-03-03 11:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:04:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
my posts seem to be good for camping on.
Note that I did not say they are GOOD...just good to camp on.
I get the drunks and foreigners
====
How scary would life be sober? (Pun with my name...BRILLANT!)
Besides sober people don't have da secks... they go to church or something
BTW +2 For women drinking their protein shakes
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:51:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
great honk!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
pee my ass.
you got turned down by the old lady...
----
I don't even try anymore.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pee my ass.
you got turned down by the old lady and went in the bathroom with a maxim.
can't fool me.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you scared everyone, Zebra. Good thing. I had to pee, and I didn't want to miss out.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahahaha
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross.
(Sorry D_R.)
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you for making me read that, Zebra.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and thorpe, in all seriousness (and if you are straight) first lick the clitoris and the surrounding area (do not neglect the labia) in a sensual manner according to the pleasure and sensitivity of your partner.
once your beard is fully soaked (i am assuming by then you will have chin whiskers) insert your forefinger into the vagina (palm up) and curl it towards you as if you were motioning "come here" and place gentle pressure on the inside front wall of the pubis.
do not be too rough here, but move your finger gently in a circular motion until your partner urinates in your face.
just kidding.
don't stop, what are you doing?
keep licking her, focusing more narrowly on the clitoris at this time.
when you find her g-spot, she will at first feel the need to urinate, but that will pass and if you stay on the clit and gently but firmly (again, according to your partner's sensitivity) move your finger in a come hither style on her g-spot the result will be a powerful orgasm and guaranteed anal (well, not guaranteed, but if you turn her right over she may go along)
is that good for you?
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've said it before and I'll say it again
BEST
FIRST
POST
EVAR
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're right, lungfish.
I'm sorry I'd ever imply such a thing.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not a foreigner.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my posts seem to be good for camping on.
Note that I did not say they are GOOD...just good to camp on.
I get the drunks and foreigners.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
We're camping, and lungfish stinks
---
ahahaha -- second-funniest guy on Uber!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:51:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey B_B. Are/were you military? Were you stationed at Fort Leonard Wood?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We're camping, and lungfish stinks
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zebra, when is your birthday?
I'm buying you a new joke-detector.
HAR HAR THAT WAS A JOKE TOO GET IT
In other news, I no longer have a job. Perhaps I could market a women of Uber calendar with similarly strategically placed objects (computer mouse, haha rabbit, etc)?
ANY TAKERS? MORTAGE IS DUE IN 29 DAYS
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's going on here?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:59:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Except when I'm camping. Then I stink.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:59:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes coley, i am clean and pleasant to look at, although i would not qualify for such a calendar due to age and geography
i see not why such things matter to a complete stranger but i am willing to divulge the truth if asked in such a pleasant manner
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
now you counter with "what's a woman?"
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bathe regularly.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahaha thorpe
you red faced little bugger
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bloody hell, I didn't want a serious answer, now it makes it look like I was serious
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hm, I'm "on to" Zebra.
I hope you're goodlooking.
Or at least bathe regularly.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:54:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahaha coley's on to me
a g-spot, thorpe is a tender area just inside the front wall of the female pubis, above the vaginal opening.
if you know how to find it and more importantly, how to caress it, you will be exceedingly popular in australia, as most of the women there don't wash their privates and thus repel all but the most robust cunnilingerers
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's a g-spot
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I appreciate your kindness, Zebra, but JC isn't quite up my alley either.
What did you do, search for the menz of the Long Tom Grange that were on the calendar I sent Lish?
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:46:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
give it up thorpe
i don't even know some of these users
just file away my sexual teachings and the world is yours.
do you want to know how to find the g-spot?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry...
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:44:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
and we were speaking of head, lungfish.
not face.
lets not overwhelm the class with too much information to swallow all at once.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zebra = MichaelJackson = ?
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i did not wish to publicize your actual location with sex fiends like thorpe lurking but your insolence forced my hand
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:42:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah...no, that wasn't good to know. Sorry.
But she says I do.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i meant junction city, of course
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
um, good to know?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My wife says I give good face.
Jesus...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice try, Zebra, but I ain't no You-jeen hippie.
:D
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually really want to go to the Pacific Northwest
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i used a special computer program to delete the markings over your address in Eugene on the valentine's package and yes i know much about proper oral sex techniques
you are right to be nice to me
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Crap, I better be nice to Zebra if he/she is not only aware of my general geographic location but also instructing young Australians in the proper oral technique....
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shut up coley i was trying to instruct young thorpe
you may thank me one day if he ever gets to the pacific northwest
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm confused. Half the reviews I get on this post are from people that seem to think I'm a guy and never have chicks go down on me.
That is only half right.
I'LL LEAVE YOU ALL TO WONDER
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I thought Zebra was a chick.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaha
You little bitch.
I prefer Shandy.
At least he's semi-intelligent.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zebra = JonnyX
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And seriously, when your first swallows, (or spits), it considerate to lift his or her face to yours and swab their throat in appreciation.
You'll thank me in a decade (or two).
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The prosecution rests, and moves to remand the defendant to a juvenile boys facility until he reaches *around* the age of 25.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*it
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:38:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I notice, young Thorpe, my virginal accusation goes unchallenged.
I believe that's all for now.
I reserve the right to recall the witless.
--------------------------
Well there's no point in challenging them is there?!?
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:38:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I notice, young Thorpe, my virginal accusation goes unchallenged.
I believe that's all for now.
I reserve the right to recall the witless.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*Gets out detective hat*
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaha
Detective Thorpe is on the case. That's 8 different users by my count.
You just think that because you haven't actually had sex, yet.
My words were not the silly ramblings of an imbecile meant to shock.
They were true.
You will learn in time all about swallowing and spitting and snowballs and felching.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 22:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zebra = shandythedog
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-02 21:51:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is nothing like gently raising her face to yours and tasting your warm seed on her lips after cumming down her throat.
It also whitens the teeth and freshens the breath.
Plus, a dish of ice cream an hour before will mask the taste of Clorox.
However, if she absolutely will not swallow, I pull out, cum on her chest, and palm paint.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-02 21:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
St_Jimmy: double up?
that's BRILLIANT!!!
but what selfless man would allow such a thing? It may be difficult to find a willing martyr.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-03-02 16:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly a deep and profound question for the ages.
My advice, if you want to find out where spitters spit, double up on some guy with a chick who's a spitter and watch what she does. Other than that, you may just have to settle for not knowing.
Life is tough that way. But I think you'll overcome. Get it? Overcome! Get it?
Oh my, I should probably be charging for these things. But instead I just give them away. Hey, I'm a giver, what can I say?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-18 20:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't even like boys. Wtf.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
like anyone would poke moley, hotpocket. Good god you're naive.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well, what do YOU do coley?
that way i can get a better visual for when im fwappin
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay. I know this subject has been somewhat covered here at "Le Uber". However, being a first-time poster, I'm gonna hit it anyway. Hit the subject that is..nevermind.
I hear that this is an age old question: "Spit or swallow?"
But I have a few questions in response. If you're not swallowing, what the hell are you doing? Do you bring a garbage can over ahead of time? Do you get one of those feed-bag things that horses wear and spit into THAT when you're done?
Do you spit on your bed and make him lie in the wet spot? Do you run to the bathroom and unload it into the bathtub? Do you spit in your potted plants? (which, by the way, being 100% organic matter and all, could possibly make for a good fertilizer....)
I just don't understand the concept. Once it's in your mouth you might as well swallow your..um..pride.
Besides, it's got protein. Especially good for you vegetarians.
--------------
gross.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-10 04:22:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
I like to do the Reverse Money Shot and spit it back in his face.
Sometimes I also gargle it, kneel over him and spit it in his mouth, like a mother bird with her young.
---
That is repulsive - yet hawt.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-21 22:51:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
======
OOOH YOUR APATHY ANGERS ME
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-21 22:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2007-01-21 22:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She spits and I swallow, I don't like to waste anything.
Also, geisha have a sheet of rice paper that they learn how to demurely spit into.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-17 19:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus christ there's some disturbing shit in these reviews...
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-10 04:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A mother bird sucks off her babies?? Crikey.
Lisa is sweet, like bannanas covered in pineapple juice tasting jizz , yummy.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-10 04:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like to do the Reverse Money Shot and spit it back in his face.
Sometimes I also gargle it, kneel over him and spit it in his mouth, like a mother bird with her young.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-10 04:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep that on the knees bit sooo works!
Lets play soldiers, i'll lay down u blow the hell outta me hehe
Submitted by Qaarkk (user info) at 2007-01-07 17:11:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-07 16:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and steak? you're my favorite whorebag too :D
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-07 16:49:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kaelic: protein. Vegetarians don't eat meat; vegans don't eat animal products. Unless you're vegan (or what would it be; lacto-ovo I suppose) it's not meat.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So does Kaelic.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
coley swallows.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just weighing in, it comes from an animal, so how is it good for a vegetarian?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:13:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This tells me about my favorite WHOREBAG coley.
1. Coley always swallows.
2. Coley should wear a feedbag.
:D
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-07 14:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sacrilicious and coley: doing their part to control world overpopulation since 1990-something.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-07 14:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Coley will murder your children with a gulp.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-07 14:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh well coley is kind of an ambigious name you know...
Anyhow what the hell do you care? Some guy already answered your question with a set of six or so possibilities. I think they usually go spit it in the toliet or something. These three comments pretty much sum up the entire range of semtiments regarding the ingestion of cum that I've heard over the years:
"It makes me sick and I feel nautious if I swallow it"
"Your cum is the most non-offensive cum I've ever tasted."
"Your cum is deliciuos I want more."
Oh yea and keep doing what you're doing.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-07 14:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddammit people clearly you aren't paying attention. The question is not whether to spit or swallow, or how to find someone that will swallow. I'm a frigging lady (clearly a classy one) and what I am asking is when a girl DOESN'T swallow, how exactly is it gone about? is it preplanned? Where for art though spermies deposited?
I GIVE UP ON YOU PEOPLE
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-07 14:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
just find one that swallows.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whore.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Swallow.
Always swallow.
Submitted by konohasaiyajin (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
spit it in your hand then rub it on your tits.
or just tell that bitch to swallow like she should
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AF: is she like, gesturing wildly with a mouthful at the garbage can? "MFF MFFSMVMMF!!"
Interesting.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THANK YOU RAD
Now I sort of know.
In your face?
Whoah.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh and I dont swallow
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've had it spit
1. on the ground
2. on the floor
3. in the sink
4. in a water bottle
5. in a cup of beer (one of those red cups you use at a kegger)
6. in my face.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:06:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone, anyone? it's been three and a half fucking years and I STILL don't know!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate garbage cans :(
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:05:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well when she doesn't let me blow it in her mouth she makes me grab a garbage can.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-01-04 03:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a thought inspiring post...what ARE you supposed to do with it?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:12:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Don't press your luck, leetle mon"...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:06:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THANK YOU DCWOODY
I am assuming you spit regularly?
aaaand
THE ELUSIVE SHLONGY PLUS ONE
wooooooooo
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Onto a previously arranged pile of tissues
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sarcastic remarks like that always garner a point.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you're so cre...er..dreamy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You haven't swallowed anything until you've swallowed Shlongy's creme filling.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:50:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-06 16:06:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm amazed this has a positive rating, given its firstpostedness.
Well done.
==========
It's still completely relevant and valuable in today's society. These questions plague me yet.
WOULD SOMEONE WHO SPITS PLEASE DETAIL TO ME, STEP BY STEP, THE PROCESS?
I NEED TO KNOW
FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:53:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
cum is icky. and its 40 calories!
=========
that's right, lil sis, it's icky til you're 18. Now run along.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:52:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Coley, I love you like I love a hot load in my mouth.
Reallly.
=========
OMG
*swoons*
I knew it was real, intense, incredible love.
I am guessing the amount of love increases with each additional "L" in "realllllly".
Lishy, I would snowball you.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF IS GOING ON HERE ON MY MAJESTIC FIRST POST???
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-06 16:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had an alter who had a perfect 2 overall rating across her first 3 posts, she then fucked up and copy and pasted something that only made sense to Australians and Britishers. Unban her bart you fucking four eyes. please.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-06 16:06:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm amazed this has a positive rating, given its firstpostedness.
Well done.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-06 16:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
probly me. u gave me too many drugs for me to remember clearly
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I swallow, then I regurgitate it into my child's mouth.
Wait a minute... I don't have any children. Damn, who was that kid?
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cum is icky. and its 40 calories!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Coley, I love you like I love a hot load in my mouth.
Reallly.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a belly button
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Name calling's not nice, moley.
(I cannot positive rate a post about putting a dick in your mouth. It's a dick, moley. It's used for peeing, procreating and for making shadow puppets with. Stay the hell away from my posts.)
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2006-10-19 00:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SWALLOW
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-10-19 00:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Silly girl, you have to get it out of your ear first.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-18 23:58:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dunno, I wonder the same things.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 my buffalo partner!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:20:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
I e-humped darko in the mouth. It was glorious.
=============
Well, now we can sleep knowing the truth.
Fuck.
I can't sleep.
That's disturbing.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I e-humped darko in the mouth. It was glorious.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:11:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
IT WAS ONE TIME! I've stopped doing that since I learned that semen is good for the skin's complexion.
==
well, alright I guess I'll take your word for it. Who knows; maybe rob_berg will show up and set the record straight!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IT WAS ONE TIME! I've stopped doing that since I learned that semen is good for the skin's complexion.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:05:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, I always swallow.
=====
that's not what rob_berg told me. He told me you spit in your hand and rubbed it on the carpet behind that potted plant.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 03:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, I always swallow.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-12 02:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously it's been 3 years, someone answer this one for me
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-12 02:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BEST FIRST POST EVAR
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-12 02:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHWING
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-10-12 02:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR THIS
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-01-22 16:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BAH!
Chronic you were not supposed to do that..
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-01-18 04:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-01-18 04:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting start.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-04-27 12:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Swallowing helps prevent breast cancer.
http://www4.ncsu.edu/~brwilli2/cnn1.html
I actually think that research has been proven wrong... but it does allow for an interesting pick up line... "Hey, honey, let's join the fight against breast cancer!"
Submitted by Captain_MotherFucking_Foamy (user info) at 2004-04-19 18:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My name is Foamy, and Coley swallows.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-17 05:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually.... My phone number has been posted on Ubersite. Several times.
Submitted by Wynther (user info) at 2004-04-06 17:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Im with Hamilton, Ashlee. Give me a # and an adress and i'll fly down there and we can....well....exchange services ;)
Submitted by XtremeMooCow (user info) at 2004-04-03 19:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pose a better question...
If you could suck yourself, spit or swallow?
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-04-03 19:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-08-26 03:03:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I tell him to let me know when he's gonna nut, then I deep throat it so I don't have to taste it. Guys seem to be really into that....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-08-25 01:37:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
?
I just dont let him cum in my mouth
Has this idea never dawned on anyone else?
------------------------------------
queen ashlee:Do you have a phone number?
Zoidberg:That takes the whole point out of it
Submitted by AnnabelLee (user info) at 2004-02-29 19:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Especially good for you vegetarians."
Tell me about it!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-08-26 03:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tell him to let me know when he's gonna nut, then I deep throat it so I don't have to taste it. Guys seem to be really into that....
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-08-25 01:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
I just dont let him cum in my mouth
Has this idea never dawned on anyone else?
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-08-25 01:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You put it better than me:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=103583988657218612
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2003-08-19 04:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
swallow, my dear.
What else is there?
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-08-18 19:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you're on your knees, do you spit or swallow?
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-08-18 12:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-08-18 09:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course Im joking (although Im sure theres some girls out there that would do that).
I however stick to the good old "do unto others as you would have done unto you" (or something like that) and with that in mind - Im not giving anyone any excuse not to get down there and start lapping... I do however say that if you cant get wiggling your tongue round my nether regions - why should I make my jaw hurt sucking your manhood?
As for your "do it on her pillow", my boyfriend already does that kind of thing as he thinks its quite amusing when he goes to bed early to bash one off and I stay up watching telly.
Its quite disgusting, especially when its cold.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2003-08-18 09:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SubstnceP (user info) at 2003-08-18 08:25:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. If a girl ever told me to finish myself off, I would do so on her pillow.
I had a friend that actually did that. Had a one night stand and once the girl was done she rolled over and went to sleep. He finished the job and wiped it on her pillow, sheets, mattress, and pretty much anything he could.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-18 09:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and my rating to this post is (-1) cuz it isn't so great.
1+0=1
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-18 09:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
And in answer to what do you do if you dont swallow - well you dont normally hang around long enough to even taste it do you? You get up and go make a cup of tea and let him finish himself off.
I personally think that this is one of the ways we've got to get you guys to settle down. You stay faithful and stick with only me - I'll swallow. (Anal is in this category also).
***************************************************************************
Surely, with your first *paragraph* above, you jest. Finish myself off? Bullshit! That would be the end of that girl getting near me.
Stay faithful and stay with only you- A grade A dick tease? I think not!
Joking, I am sure you are lovely. =)
Submitted by SubstnceP (user info) at 2003-08-18 08:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. If a girl ever told me to finish myself off, I would do so on her pillow.
Submitted by SubstnceP (user info) at 2003-08-18 08:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I take it personally when a girl doesn't swallow. The only chick I have ever been with who didn't wallow, decided it would be nice idea to spit it on my stomach. Needless to say, she was around just long enough for me to violate her in entirety, then she was fired. That was B.S.! If a girl is goodly enough to put my penis in her mouth, she should be aware of the commitment that is assumed by doing so. If she's got a thing about not doing it, I will settle for the face/boob shot.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-08-18 06:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um... You know what they say... its the difference between love and like.
And in answer to what do you do if you dont swallow - well you dont normally hang around long enough to even taste it do you? You get up and go make a cup of tea and let him finish himself off.
I personally think that this is one of the ways we've got to get you guys to settle down. You stay faithful and stick with only me - I'll swallow. (Anal is in this category also).
The longer the guys stays the filthier we get... so its in his interest to stay as long as possible.
Submitted by PopNFresh (user info) at 2003-08-18 04:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you spit or swallow?
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2003-08-18 04:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This one is fucked up. See the person who is either spitting or swallowing is probably making the decision based on the person. Case in point
Andy spits for me
but swallows for drink
I don't understand it!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-08-18 04:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
word of advice:
dont grovel.
just write well. it doesnt really matter what you say, even if it has been covered a shitload of times before, as long as you say it well...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2003-08-18 04:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alright. I'm a moron. Some simple looking around and I see the basics of this post have been covered.
Please, almighty ubers, forgive my first-post blunder.
*down on her knees begging forgiveness*
~coley
(I figure the knees thing might help.)