i'm going to post every day now, and respond to every comment, because that's how you win uber. episode one, in which our hero creates an animated gif as entry to a contest hosted by some hairy italian guy. awesome work. great job. let the praise rain (1528 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.25 on 82 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by random user (View user info) at 2009-07-13 17:26:16 EDT
yeah.
fuck yeah.
now here's something we hope you'll really like, or, as franky said, here's something that'll really get you off:
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-21 15:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, still a retal rating faggot are we jonny?
lol.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-21 15:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-03 01:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i won uber ages ago.
the prize is rubbish
---
id say a bunch of us have won uber over the years.
its not worth the effort.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-08-07 18:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was just about to say "-2, that is not how you win Uber."
And then I looked at the rating.
I stand corrected.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-07 17:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why does albert pujols have to be so good? God I wish I could hate him.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-29 13:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This gif won the contest, right?
RIGHT?
I sure hope it didn't go to that puffy Australian blowhard.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-07-29 12:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I want to talk too. So... what are we talking about?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-29 10:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pssst... whatcha want to talk aboot?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-07-27 09:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bwahahahahaha: W14-6 :) W9-2 :) L1-8 :(
WOOT 2-3 MUHFUCKA!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 16:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i know.
but you agree about the flower thing right?
like maybe some carnations.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Scourge, we are used to it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i've just realized that in the last frame i should have made holding a bouquet of colourful flowers and this would have been the greatest gif ever.
sorry i failed you, everybody.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-14 05:08:01 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
in fairness i stole 'blood tornado' from TToM, ballare. but i'm sure he stole it from somewhere i am unaware of, so the scottish fuck can deal with it.
YOU HEAR ME CANCER BOY?
------------
I did not steal it, I repeat did NOT steal it from the Director's commentary on the Futurama episode "Bender Gets Made"
Not, remember, not.
Not.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-07-19 14:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I blasted some flavor blasted goldfish with 100 times more flavor this would still be more awesome than those awesome tasting goldfish.
Although it'd be close as hell.
Still this wins.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-07-16 17:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I accept this 100%
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-16 13:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-07-16 05:30:17 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't 105% proof vodka violate the laws of thermodynamics?
===
105 proof = something like 52.5% alcohol
DUH
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-16 13:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-15 08:43:17 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what's so fucking great about penguins? there are all these people who ooh and ahh over them like they're the best thing in the world.
fuck that.
next time i see a penguin, i'm going to eat the motherfucker just to spite those crazies.
=====
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8153168.stm
I know it was you, scourge, and it breaks my heart.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-16 12:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'sup muddy? how's tricks?
vodka is your friend, haiku. he's at his best in a threesome with a splash of olive brine and a couple bleu cheese olives.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-07-16 08:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't 105% proof vodka violate the laws of thermodynamics?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-15 17:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would just like to quickly congratulate myself on being too lazy to check the proof on this.
I have made another drink or two since my last comment and it is in fact 105 proof.
The Woody Allen/Larry David flick I can't remember the name of will be particularly funny tonight, I am sure.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-15 15:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It might be the 100+ proof vodka, but this made me giggle.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-07-15 15:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's a quality gif
on the internet there exists a drawing of a dude fighting off monkeys with a giant dildo
amongst other things
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-15 13:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's my first gif ever.
i feel i'm ready to move to the big leagues now.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-15 13:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ah well.
Sweet .gif, eh.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-15 13:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know rob.
i can only associate with the low class individuals here for so long before i start to feel all dirty inside.
i made a valiant effort, but in the end my best just wasn't good enough.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-15 13:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"i'm going to post every day now, and respond to every comment, because that's how you win uber."
YOU DIDN'T EVEN GO TWO IN A ROW.
FFS
WTF
OMFG
ROTFL
GTFO
STFU
ETC
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-15 13:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FAIL.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-07-15 11:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-15 11:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's going well horatio, thank you for asking. yourself?
----
you like hairy italian guys? wtf?
---
yes berty, my follow through on that particular promise was about par for the course with me. my lack of dedication to anything other than the whim of the moment is trying even to me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-07-15 10:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There was no post on the 14th so Bart Bart is going to drink the chocomut milkshake he'd prepared for you in a gold plated cup and then crush it on his forehead.
He will not say "HUWAH!" or anything whilst he does it. He will be totally silent with a single tear rolling down his cheek.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-07-15 05:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-07-14 20:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All I saw was "hairy italian guy"...do you have his number?
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-07-14 20:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-07-14 19:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How's it going?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-14 12:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what are you talking about the prize is rubbish?
adoration of my peers, blowjobs, a million dolars a month for the rest of my life...this is what i was led to expect upon my victory.
and maybe expectations actually outgrew my potential.
i like beans.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-07-14 11:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i won uber ages ago.
the prize is rubbish
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-07-14 10:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just like a report card - you never live up to your potential.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-07-14 04:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-14 04:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happy birthday saccy
this post blows
needs more ELPHDOG
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-07-14 04:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this was funny
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-07-14 02:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-07-14 01:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you responded to that first query. I feel validated in my life knowing that you'll respond to all my comments.
Post a link to the scope that you like.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-14 00:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
the mental... um, stuff that happens... when i dwell on the concept of 'stab', the emotions incited by the word, are really just great and fantastic
---
thank you, thank you, and thank you
---
um, monkeyguns, i figured you'd hate this, or do say to yourself that monkeys with knives get what they have coming for being underarmed?
---
happy fucking b-day, lisheroo
---
sorted, i think
prince fielder takes the homerun derby? really? he's like 5'6" and 300 lbs. and he has neck tattoos. NECK TATTOOS, FFS.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-14 00:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in fairness i stole 'blood tornado' from TToM, ballare. but i'm sure he stole it from somewhere i am unaware of, so the scottish fuck can deal with it.
YOU HEAR ME CANCER BOY?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-07-13 23:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 23:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was born in 1973!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-07-13 21:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-07-13 21:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool post.
Savrilicious: Today is your birthday? It is my daughter's, as well. She was born in 1973.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-07-13 20:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
blood tornado!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-07-13 20:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you mean like singing a song as you walk down the road?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-13 19:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
policy approved
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 19:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA You sneaky bastard. I just saw this http://www.ubersite.com/m/75174#2909542
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 19:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and also, I pronounce this the winner, hands down, sight of others unseen. Making animated gifs is on my long list of shit to learn.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMMIT WHY'D YOU WAIT UNTIL I CAN'T RATE AT WORK TO PULL A STUNT LIKE THIS?
Anyway, I approve. No time to know what all this is about but I know it involves creep and I suppose there's some contenst going on. I probably could have checked in the time it took me to type this, but I regret nothing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HOMERUN DERBY TIME
BEER
ME
YAY
OK BYE.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*blood tornado*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy will not participate in such a charade.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One last thing: Anagram of 'stab': bats. What do bats do? They fucking STAB you and drink your blood! Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And I went and gave this a second +2 b/c I didn't want to be a dick and break the streak.
Dick.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TOMORROW's episode will probably be a horrible poem to see how low a rating i can get.
bye everyone, i love you dudes and dudettes.
see ya bros.
bro bor orb obr bro
b
r
o
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i won uber ages ago.
the prize is rubbish
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most heated coming soon?
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M GOING HOME NOW.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i figured as much.
a good stabfest makes the world a better place.
-----
FUCK YOU, SELF, HOW DARE I BREAK MY STREAK?!?! I'M TOTALLY GOING TO KICK MYSELF IN THE NUTS FOR THAT DICK MOVE. ASSHOLE.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The tip can also cut, the edge can also stab".
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i like to break my own streaks.
that way nobody else gets the pleasure of doing it first.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course! Like you even have to ask.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why yes, sandmantate, i most assuredly am going to respond to that.
i hope that doesn't make you sad, but if it does it can't be helped.
----
HELLO JULS, HOW ARE YOU? LOVELY AS ALWAYS I PRESUME.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
ah, that is what we in the internet dicking around business call 'artistic license', my friend.
also it's an homage to habeeb.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you going to respond to this?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the part with all the stabbing was your favourite, right skrap?
it was my favourite.
and here everyone probably thought i was kidding about the respond to every review part. silly geese.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i want someone to make a gif of him
a: somersaulting into the middle of the monkey knife fight pic from stage right
b: with a stabber in hand,
c: fadout to a black screen,
d: fade in to creep surrounded by a pile of dead monkeys,
e: somersault out stage left.
Nobody ever said anything about a dick on a monkey,so wtf, dude?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that was pretty awesome.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's actually even better if you know Dan, because if you do you realize that this is actually how it would happen, and that that is actually the look Dan would have on his face while tornado stabbing.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thank you lumberjack.
as you cannot tell at all from the quality, i spent a lot more time on this than is reasonable and i should be ashamed of myself, but i tend to like me an awful lot, so i'm not ashamed at all.
HEE YAW
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hell. That's some butkickin' .
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
thank you catal, you are an officer and a gentleman and probably someone who enjoys a little bit of illegal drugs here and there.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SEE, IT'S LIKE AN ACTION SEQUENCE.
THE MONKEY SYMBOLIZES THE FORCES OF EVIL.
CREEP symbolizes rambo glued to the karate kid as the forces of good. he's doing a somersault as the monkey screeches towards him, and then the ensuing blood tornado is left to the readers mind as a suggestion that if the sheep people were ever to see the true battle between the forces of this and that, it would blow their fucking minds right outr of their heads.
seriously, bro's and broettes.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, that was pretty funny...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here's the whole title:
"i'm going to post every day now, and respond to every comment, because that's how you win uber. episode one, in which our hero creates an animated gif as entry to a contest hosted by some hairy italian guy. awesome work. great job. let the praise rain down on me like the blood of my enemies rains down upon their widows and children. i am the alpha and the omega. all hail. i wonder if this piece of shit will even work. i've never made one of these before. it'll probably be great. everything i do usually is. buttholes are gross. lately my dog has horrendous gas. it smells like rotten broccoli. wtf, dog?"
OMFG!!! HOW AM I TO EXPRESS MY GREAT CREATIVE WONDERFULNESS IF YOU LIMIT ME IN THESE WAYS, UBERSITE LAWS AND RULES AND REGULATIONS AND PROTOCOLS AND OTHER LIMITING BITCHFACES?
WTF?
3947YC EO G793O LO 7 GO