The Royal Flush (707 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.96 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BLT (View user info) at 2009-08-08 01:23:24 EDT
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a royal flush. I have been playing poker (you brought her, you poke her) for years, but I have never seen the most magnificent of hands, the quintessential dandy of the dandies; until right now. I present to you:
THE ROYAL FLUSH!
User Reviews
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-08-13 01:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank got this wasn't one of Sico's toilet posts.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, no ranking of suits in poker.
I still have yet to hit a royal flush in a live game. I've hit one straight flush, but I think it was a 7-high.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Ranking of suits
In standard poker there is no ranking of suits. If two hands are identical apart from the suits of the cards then they count as equal. In standard poker, if there are two highest equal hands in a showdown, the pot is split between them.
However, Franco Pratesi has informed me that in Italy there is a generally accepted ranking of suits in poker. The ranking is: hearts (high), diamonds, clubs, spades (low). "
allright, so in Italy there are suit rankings. You win.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-08-11 17:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, it's just you're too stupid to talk with. AA vs AA??? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? 1/5 th of a royal flush in each hand? uhhhh so?
We're talking about 2 complete royal flushes, in a draw game, or a stud game, not hold'm. How in the fuck can you get two royal flushes in a hold'm game, let alone two in two different suits, idiot?
Fuck it, like I said, you're too fucking stupid to talk to... let alone... with.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-11 02:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least I'm not a happy Canadian.
Uhhhh
Oh dear.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-11 02:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU ARE A ROYAL NERD.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-11 02:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stop arguing with me wildman I know what I'm talking about. Suit plays no factor in hand decisions. Unless you are playing by some sort of weird house rules.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-11 02:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, I understand the rules of bridge. However, I still maintain that when a hand is equal in number, suit does not matter. I know this because I have experienced it. In your case, what would ou do with an AA vs. AA (which does happen quite a bit) give the pot to the person holding the A of Spades? No, that's not what happens. The pot gets chopped. I don't know where you're playing poker, but according (yes you made me do this) to HOYLE's official rules of the game, the pot gets chopped; there is no "favorite" suit. Stop gambling in Tiajuana or something.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-08-10 23:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spades-Hearts-Diamonds-Clubs (In order)
It might have come from; Bridge, since it's one of the oldest card games still being played.
But in any event...just google and you'll see I'm right in the value rankings for $ games.
Re; Casinos, if the Spade Flush holder presses the dispute, and the casino has no written rule, he Will prevail.
Have seen, check that, have heard then seen it happen during a very very big cash game in Vegas
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-10 23:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have never played poker anywhere where a certain suited royal flush beats another suit. That is a myth or house rules or something.
In a casino, two royal flushes (and it is possible) would chop the pot.
======================
SSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Let Wilddumbass have his incorrect fantasy!!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Atsa nice river.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have never played poker anywhere where a certain suited royal flush beats another suit. That is a myth or house rules or something.
In a casino, two royal flushes (and it is possible) would chop the pot.
Submitted by Leopold_Bloom (user info) at 2009-08-10 20:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-08-08 17:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-08 16:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing beats the Royal Flush, unless you play with wild cards, which is for fags and fools.
^^^^^^^^
I knew you'd be the idiot I'd flush out with my statement.
Although not possible in Hold-um, a spade royal flush beats a heart royal flush.
Sometimes, no check that, you're always easy to...........Fool.
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Does the suit value not depend on the individual school or tournament? I've heard of hearts being the best suit in some cases although the WSOP is spades.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-10 18:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't play minesweeper. But if I ever get a hole in one on WGT you'll be the first to know!
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-10 12:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to go. Why don't you post your best Minesweeper screenshot?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-10 09:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-08 23:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my favourite shooter is the 'stfu, sage.'
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I was gonna guess warm Crisco but thanks for proving me wrong, ya galoot!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-10 08:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh neat!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-09 02:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WAY TO MISSPELL YOUR OWN FAKE NAME
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-08 23:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my favourite shooter is the 'stfu, sage.'
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-08-08 23:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-08-08 20:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You appear to be getting your ass kicked despite the royal flush.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 18:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-08-08 17:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats. I'll refrain from making the obvious Lady Gaga reference.
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yes, thanks for that. I'm so fucking sick of that song. It makes my ears bleed.
oh, and blow me, doodles.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-08-08 17:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-08 16:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing beats the Royal Flush, unless you play with wild cards, which is for fags and fools.
^^^^^^^^
I knew you'd be the idiot I'd flush out with my statement.
Although not possible in Hold-um, a spade royal flush beats a heart royal flush.
Sometimes, no check that, you're always easy to...........Fool.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-08-08 17:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats. I'll refrain from making the obvious Lady Gaga reference.
In relevant irrelevancy, the Royal Flush also happens to be my favorite shooter. Mmmmm. For those that haven't heard of this tasty shot, mix equal parts Crown Royal, pineapple juice, cranberry juice, and peach schnapps in an (obviously ice filled) ice shaker, strain into shot glasses and enjoy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-08 16:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing beats the Royal Flush, unless you play with wild cards, which is for fags and fools.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-08-08 16:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad, you almost got the best hand possible.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-08 15:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We all know I'm an old fuck, but over the last 45 years or so I have had no fewer than six Royal Flushes playing poker with my friends. I actually had one in Vegas, and I won 6000 bucks.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-08 14:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Savage. That's the name I couldn't think of. Sean Hannity was the other guy, I think. I don't know what this has to do with baseball.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-08 12:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-08 12:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-07 17:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why does albert pujols have to be so good? God I wish I could hate him.
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I know, right?
Last night this happened: http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090807&content_id=6299794&vkey=news_stl&fext=.jsp&c_id=stl , and Albert actually carried the man to the hospital, cradled in his arms. Then he stitched him shut, and jogged back to the field in time to hit seventeen grand slams in one inning to win the game. They just didn't show that part in the clip is all.
No, but seriously he's fucking good. I imagine the Yankees are going to offer him 36 bajillion dollars a day when his contract is up.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-08-08 11:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess when all you do is play online poker all day, it's bound to happen sometime, right?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-08 05:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When one of my girlfriends is really happy she says things like 'it makes my bum hum'...I don't really get that, but I'll bet if she got that hand she'd say it made her bum hum.
*blinks*
I hate poker.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-08 05:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh hey...man. Hi. I really only hate the Cubs and he REds. And fuck his naem the guy Michael something whatever. And that other guy.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-08-08 04:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-08 04:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW! HOW MANY FAKE POINTS DID YOU WIN|?? WILL YOU BUY A FAKE CAR??
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With a pot of only 720, maybe a fake bicycle.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-08 04:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW! HOW MANY FAKE POINTS DID YOU WIN|?? WILL YOU BUY A FAKE CAR??
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 03:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rectum? Damn it nearly killed him!
Oh we could go on and on.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-08-08 03:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahem. Knew* her.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-08-08 03:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Poker?
Why, I hardly know her!
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-08-08 03:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congratulations.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oops... stupid mozilla spell check
Chroniclysm hates jews.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
colonialism just hates jews.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, i've never gotten a "real" royal flush, so I couldn't tell you about that, now could I?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If this was a story about a real royal flush, that would've been probably been better.
+720
E-Awesome.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you talking about?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's be clear about something. The Internet is ..not.. serious business.
When it actually comes out, it's at least exponentially better than this.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-08-08 02:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's actually not all that impressive when I see it here. Believe me; when it happened it was amazing.