Serious writing - Snoozles the dog (399 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stok (View user info) at 2009-08-09 07:22:10 EDT
Snoozles the dog.
Snoozles was a dog but not a regular dog, he was the oldest dog in Hill Valley. He was so old that once the local Hill Valley 5pm News did a story on him.
'What's your secret to longevity there, Snozzles?' said the reporter
'well of course he can't talk, but if he could I'm sure he would say take lots of long walks and lick your anus as well' said Mr Flesflader, Snoolzes owner.
'there you have it folks' said the reporter 'now back to you in the newsroom'
It so happened that the Flesflader family was going on a vacation and it was all booked and paid for and non refundable. Then at the last second they found that the hotel did not allow dogs. 'but dad what about Snoozle?!' cried little Jimmy. 'hmmm don't worry there little Jim Bob we'll get Skippy Palumbo from up the street to take care of him i'm sure that will be okay'
LATER THAT DAY
'so skippy i think you'll agree taking care of Soozles will be easy remember what i just explained he is diabetic and needs his insulin every day otherwise he'll go into a comatose state where he might even look dead but just make sure he gets his insulin and we won't need to worry about that'
So off they went in the station wagon and little Jimmy and Sally waved goodbye to Szoozles, safe in the knowledge that they would see him again very soon. Yep, they though, snoozles the dog was going to be juuust fine.
Skippy looked at snozles and said 'well there Soozles its just me and you and an uneventful week at Hill Valley'
Later that day skippy forgot to give Soonzle his insulin and found him still on the floor, frozen in the act of licking his own anus. 'oh noes' cried skippy 'i've killed Snolozes,yep he is dead look how still he is!' skippy was so distraught he did not check to see if the dog was breathing and he though of a plab 'i'll bury the best damn dog i ever met, and tell the flesfladers he ran away because i can't face the shame.' So thats what he did and he looked at the turned earth 'goodbye Scoozles, im so sorry that i caused your death because you are undoubtedly dead' then he heard a car door slam and little Joe Bob Joe Henry Bob Flesflader ran into the house 'SNOOZLE WE ARE BACK FROM VACATION AND I SAW A MONKEY!' he cried. The whole family assembled in front of skippy and looked arounf expectantly for their beloved Snoozle-Woozle.
'well skippy thanks for a job well done' said the dad
'uh well i' stammered skip
'job well done' repeated the dad
Um i have something to say said skip
'well lets wait for snoozles so he can hear it too after all he is part of the family, cant imagine life without old snoozlles the dog, raised him from a pup i did skippy, bout this big he was, darn tootin' said the dad, holding his hand a few inches from the ground
'uh gee i um gee whiz the thing is snoozles...'
'yeees, said the family'
'he um-'
'SNOOZLES! 'Cried little timmy for just then, snozles had ambled into the house!
'why there you are little fella' the family said ' hey you have got brown mud on your self, ya been rolin around in the doit?'
'looks like hes been diggin a hole, a deep one too with smooth sides, almost like he used a shovel but thats perprosterous well here ya go skippy heres a quarter thanks again'
'woofs!' cried snoozles
'hahahahhaha you can say that again!'
'woofs!'
'hey keep it down snoozles"
Hmm thought skippy he must have been in a diabetic coma and wne i buried him he wasn't dead then he woke up and dug himself out. Skippy was always careful for the rest of his life to administer the correct dose of required mediaction to anyone in his care. And snoozles? Well he is still there, livin in the old barn at Hill Valley.
User Reviews
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-10 18:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sarcasm is the weapon of a weak mind.
Submitted by UltraNinja (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm older than Snoozles.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i enjoyed this more than kaos kings last post.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-10 08:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
needs more doit
Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold (user info) at 2009-08-10 02:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
needs more shift key
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2009-08-09 18:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
needs more dog
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-09 17:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-08-09 11:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ya been rolin around in the doit?
___________
I know right?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-09 16:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, indeed.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-09 16:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-09 13:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't ever say that again.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-09 12:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shine fuckin
box
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-08-09 11:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ya been rolin around in the doit?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-09 11:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-09 06:01:08 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-09 08:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah give it a bit of a rest.
you can clearly do this pretty well, but youve worn it a bit thin.
____________
But it's pretty much all I've got.
________________________
It's better than the socially manipulative/sociopathic/half-retarded penguin thing you were doing.
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2009-08-09 09:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's just not Hill Valley without Marty McFly.
Save the clock tower!
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-09 09:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-09 08:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah give it a bit of a rest.
you can clearly do this pretty well, but youve worn it a bit thin.
____________
But it's pretty much all I've got.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-09 08:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah give it a bit of a rest.
you can clearly do this pretty well, but youve worn it a bit thin.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-08-09 08:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Skippy was always careful for the rest of his life to administer the correct dose of required mediaction to anyone in his care.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-08-09 08:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'woofs!'
'hey keep it down snoozles"