Berty asks about women's problems (1942 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 120 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Berty (View user info) at 2009-08-14 05:14:34 EDT
Today I'd like to talk to you about women's problems. Cramps, specifically. I have been destroying a lot of old records today (it is like the Kremlin after a purge in here) from the old factory days and I am staggered by the number of women who will put in lots of sicknotes for cramps and then a few for extended time off with depression.
Is it like when a person puts in sicknote for "sickness" and/or diareah they mean that they were really, really hungover that morning?
Are cramps, in fact, a euphamism?
I am not trying to ask whether or not cramps are made up. I am fully behind the fact that women get abdominal pain, just as I am behind people who get migraines. Please don't think I am accusing all of womankind of being skivers.
It should be noted that all the women who took time off with "abdominal pains" are all from very poor backgrounds. By which, I mean to say, they are scrubbers. They are also of a wide variety of ages from 16 to 48 (if you can believe it) although certainly most are from the younger side of the spectrum.
Is it about women with a heavy flow? Speaking from the perspective of an employer, we'd much rather a woman came into work and bled everywhere rather than stayed home being unproductive. We employ cleaners for this very reason. If people are suffering with mental issues though, we'd like to support staff in this position. Perhaps they could wear an armband or something with a logo on it: "I am depressed. Please do not bring me any work that will make me sad" around a picture of a tearful puppy.
I thank you for your participation in helping us create a friendlier, more sensitve, workplace.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-21 07:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well Cakes, it could be for one of any number of reasons. It could be that I've always found referencing oneself in the third person adorable and secretly wish it was acceptable for me to do so in real life. Perhaps it is to do with branding, so that when people see a "Berty..." post they know they are in for good quality endutainment. It could be a running gag from 2006 that I started with Dervel and never really stopped. Maybe I do it so that when I glance at the MRR or MH list my post stands out and I can quickly bathe in the compliments of my peers. I could be a deeply troubled individual who HAS to follow certain patterns of behaviour, like how Caulaincort has to tap his finger twice against the table before touching his mouse.
Maybe, just maybe, I am an alien being and all of Ubersite is just a test to see if someone had the perception and the mental will to ask that very question; thus locating the one individual with the psychological profile capable of defeating the hated Ubgag Emperor Igwiss.
Perhaps the 'Berty' profile is actually shared by a number of people and by glancing at Uber they can tell easily whether or not one of the collective has already done a Berty post that day.
Pick whichever one appeals to you the most.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-08-20 21:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why does Berty always use Berty's name in Berty's posts? It's a nice screen name and even a good real name, but just wondered?
I supposed it was for hits, which is, um, sad? Cos it's not like you guys get paid for this? Feel free to reply, Berty, on your, I mean Berty's, post. It kinda reminds me of people who speak of themselves in third person, a little unsettling. I mean no hostility, just sincere.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2009-08-18 14:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes it is, probably or maybe it isn't.
-Dave
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-18 03:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-08-18 02:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever happened to Manda fuckin Panda, I miss messing with her, here and on the phone. (if you see this panda, ring my bell). Sweet gal, that panda: I'd swear she was Southern if not for her accent, you get a feel for those things. -PS: Danger, hunker over and kiss my South Coast ass
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I will NOT!!
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-08-18 02:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Second PS: (Didn't read comments). Circe is still the shit.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-08-18 02:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever happened to Manda fuckin Panda, I miss messing with her, here and on the phone. (if you see this panda, ring my bell). Sweet gal, that panda: I'd swear she was Southern if not for her accent, you get a feel for those things. -PS: Danger, hunker over and kiss my South Coast ass
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-17 18:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2009-08-17 11:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I douche with bleach.
Cramps are your body's way of telling you that you're unclean and need to be purified.
So, bleach.
Think about it. You get cramps when your bowels are oozing liquid fecal matter or when your uterus is gushing dirty tainted rotten fuckblood.
Truly christian women only menstruate for half an hour at a time and what comes out is holy water.
If you're cramping you're a filthy whore.
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hahaha GOD I love you circe
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-17 17:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2009-08-17 11:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I douche with bleach.
Cramps are your body's way of telling you that you're unclean and need to be purified.
So, bleach.
Think about it. You get cramps when your bowels are oozing liquid fecal matter or when your uterus is gushing dirty tainted rotten fuckblood.
Truly christian women only menstruate for half an hour at a time and what comes out is holy water.
If you're cramping you're a filthy whore.
-------------------------------------
<3
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-17 11:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well someones 'on'
below
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2009-08-17 11:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I douche with bleach.
Cramps are your body's way of telling you that you're unclean and need to be purified.
So, bleach.
Think about it. You get cramps when your bowels are oozing liquid fecal matter or when your uterus is gushing dirty tainted rotten fuckblood.
Truly christian women only menstruate for half an hour at a time and what comes out is holy water.
If you're cramping you're a filthy whore.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-17 07:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes bery
wtf, im not reading all that
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-17 07:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When it comes to dealing with employees it's essential to be even-handed. That means being fair towards the person who will come into work relentlessly, despite dying of pneumonia or whatever. Furthermore whatever decicision is reached has to be in the Company's best interest. Thus from that starting point and taking into account all that has been said I've come to the following conclusion:
The fairest thing is a flexible work arrangement for ALL employees. All employees have a number of hours they must work every month and the responsibility for managing that time is between the individual and their Line Manager. There are, however, jobs and/or organisations that are not suited to flexible working. In these instances consideration should be given to individual circumstances and perhaps allowing for a reasonable amount of time off would be acceptable.
That rule, however, would apply to the whole workforce. Say, an expected maximum of 7 days absence (note that their actual sickness entitlement will probably be far higher) in a year. If an employee exceeds this number for any reason then you have a conversation with them to identify cause. If the cause of the absence is temporary (a broken limb for instance) then fair enough. If it is a problem that isn't going to go away then maybe a new "threshold" can be arranged if it is deemed in the company's interest to retain the individual or, if the time off is deemed unacceptable, steps should be taken to remove the individual from the business.
Obviously such a step should only be taken as a last resort and in compliance with whatever disability discrimination legislation is in effect in the country. In all instances, such issues should be addressed whithin an employees probationary period or as soon as the Line Manager becomes aware of the situation, as is true of any difficult situation.
Going forward, it is my belief that fewer and fewer roles or organisations will be able to hide behind the "this type of role/organisation does not allow for flexible working" excuse. Home working, advanced time and attendance monitoring tools and the movement of the general workforce away from process orientated roles will erode the numbers of employees in said situation to the point where they will become the exception to the rule.
All agreed?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-17 03:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm not complaining mind it feels eLECTRIC
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-17 03:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm super fit and don't even GET my period
i do get an inordinate amount of sand in my vagina at times though
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-08-16 23:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-08-16 21:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew somebody would come back to say I don't understand bad cramps. I used to get terrible ones when I was eating Doritos and sitting on my ass in my spare time. For the past five years I've been eating healthy, working out, and taking vitamins, and my cramps have been nothing more than mild discomfort on the first day--barely worth complaining about let alone worth taking time off work for.
A lot of people don't want to take responsibility for their own health, so I'm sure that will piss you guys off, but that's never stopped me before!
===
I didn't say you didn't understand, and it's only logical that healthy diet and fitness level will contribute positively to almost any undesirable condition, it doesn't take a scientist to know this. The time during which I suffered the most was from ages 12-18, when I topped out at 95 lbs and danced several times a week.
And I believe there is a lot of value in homeopathy as well. But there are scientists who at the same time can recognize conditions like endometriosis and others that actually may require a more than getting off your ass to fix. There are hundreds of examples on uber of how women are different, and just because the gym cured your cramps doesn't mean the ones who suffer don't have healthy habits nor does it debunk everything traditional medicine has to say about it.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-08-16 21:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm ducking out before the shit hits the fan...
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-08-16 21:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew somebody would come back to say I don't understand bad cramps. I used to get terrible ones when I was eating Doritos and sitting on my ass in my spare time. For the past five years I've been eating healthy, working out, and taking vitamins, and my cramps have been nothing more than mild discomfort on the first day--barely worth complaining about let alone worth taking time off work for.
A lot of people don't want to take responsibility for their own health, so I'm sure that will piss you guys off, but that's never stopped me before!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-08-16 17:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no reason to take time off work for cramps--they make this stuff called Tylenol, and if you work out enough, they largely disappear.
===
TYLENOL? Lady, have you ever heard of dysmenorrhea?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-08-16 16:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want one of them armbands, but skip the puppy.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-16 15:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A solid meh.
Submitted by MoPed (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You assume a lot"
I'm pretty sure that if u read the submission its clear that this writers claims are documented. So... assumes not so much. Retard. Who besides me has an ex girlfriend who used to cry off with this cramp bullshit all the time? Thanks for the article.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no reason to take time off work for cramps--they make this stuff called Tylenol, and if you work out enough, they largely disappear.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-08-16 12:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-08-16 12:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Flexi-time should be made more available. I'm really bored of the women I work with constantly bailing out early or not turning up at all because of kid problem and expecting everyone to pick up the work load. They make it impossible for anyone else to be able maintain a pre-planned doctors appointment etc, because we've got a million patients to suddenly deal with and no staff. Flexi-time would mean that all the other crap that comes with a job could be made up at a weekend or on late nights/early mornings.
If cramps cause you that much pain that you can't work, see a doctor and they will give you the appropriate pain killers (possibly investigations to rule out more serious problems) and you should be able to be back in work the same day. This means no further time should be taken off due to these cramps (if it is - demand sick notes). The same with depression, if it is a regular thing, they should be on regular medication which will counter these symptoms - there are many ways of doing this and different things help different people.
In result, I completely understand and agree that these pains can floor you. I've had them bad enough myself to collapse on the spot. Most women will agree that sometimes hormones and the like can lead to depression. Both can be treated, no one should be off work. However, Employers should try to make things more flexible for staff, not really for those who are off, but to ease the pressure on those left behind to pick up the slack.
Duvet days are what holiday time is for. I'd have to use my holiday to have a planned operation or attend a funeral. I would fucking love to have duvet days.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-08-15 23:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It should be noted that all the women who took time off with "abdominal pains" are all from very poor backgrounds. By which, I mean to say, they are scrubbers.
-
You assume a lot, particularly these days. Thank god Lord Byron didn't do the same with the Nottingham weavers.
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-08-15 21:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sex helps me with my cramps, actually, if the guy does everthing EXACTLY AS I INSTRUCT.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-15 19:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-08-15 07:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PPS:
This is on a constant loop in Apollo's head:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGzwNdTVHJo
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-08-15 07:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo and d_r both have small crushes on sage.
PS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEOem7U2LPE
This is d_r's favourite song, movie and era in time.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-15 03:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Atually have a minus 2 berty, you dick.
"I'm berty, let me pass judgement on your posts and tell you how to improve them and then post this absolute fucking tripe about sick notes."
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-15 03:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
None of my girls use that excuse, except for one girl, and she just liked having days off.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-15 00:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-14 12:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
please choke below.
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lol
fuck off sage you vacuous mole
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-08-14 20:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2009-08-14 17:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
re: birth control
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFr9RK1L5pI
L O L
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-08-14 17:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-14 15:15:31 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I were an ad person, my birth control commercial would consist of nothing but a picture of a baby with the Ghostbusters red circle-slash thing. That's it.
====
A-fuckin'-men!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sluts give it away for free.... but not to you, I'm betting.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You cunts deal with it. Stop selling on the street and it won't hurt, you FUCKING SLUTS!!!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, the Yaz commercials are kind of insulting to the average woman's intelligence, in my opinion. The best one is the one where they're all sitting around at a nightclub talking about possible side effects. If I were an ad person, my birth control commercial would consist of nothing but a picture of a baby with the Ghostbusters red circle-slash thing. That's it.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had cramps so bad a few times that I couldn't get out of bed. It's not just abdominal - sometimes it goes all inside your vagina and ass as well. Like if I sit down too hard or at the wrong angle it feels like stabbing. Plus sometimes I barf too. All my symptoms are better since I started taking Yaz though. I highly recommend it.
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I love Yaz, I hate the commercials though
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-08-14 14:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work with a lady who was off every month with period pain.
It pissed me right off.
How I laughed, when she was busted by the senior managers when they decided to have a lunchtime meeting in the pub, and she was there drinking alcopops with her friends, when she was supposedly 'in too much pain to come in to work'.
She had a disciplinary, and whilst no-one knew what the outcome was, suffice to say she was fine every month thereafter.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-08-14 13:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Research has been done on the subject and found wanting.
The arts have had to shoulder the load:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91705
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97519
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-08-14 13:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dislike my period only because it's inconvenient. Science needs to step up and figure out how we can bypass this annoying problem.
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they already have...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-08-14 13:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've had some really bad cramps that put me out for as long as it took for pain medicine to kick in, which is about 30 minutes to an hour. Without medicine, yes, they can be debilitating at times. I think if your cramps aren't relieved by OTC medicine, and are knocking you out for a full day, you may want to look into PMDD.
I worked with a woman whose period always caught her by "suprise" at the same time every fucking month, and would leave early. Every woman there was like, "Is this bitch for real?"
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maybe she was hoping for an anchor/financial security baby and was disappointed each month.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-08-14 12:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um... sometimes it's like being kicked in the stomach with a pointy steel-toed boot and then having someone grind it into you while at the same time feeling like a rabid badger is trying to tear itself out of you.
i do not exaggerate. seriously it's hard to work when you're bent in half and on the verge of or actually weeping.
most of them are playing hookie though.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-14 12:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
please choke below.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm on The Pill which has somewhat alleviated this issue; however, before I went on it the pain could be vomit inducing. Additionally, the only thing that works for me is ibuprofen. Naproxen, aspirin and acetaminophen do nothing for my symptoms. I've definitely had to leave work (when I was a lifeguard I almost passed out one time from the pain/heat combination) because of it all.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I've fallen to the communists."
"Well they do have some good arguments."
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More euphemisms for being on the rag!
My GF used to say, "Aunt Margaret's in town."
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've had some really bad cramps that put me out for as long as it took for pain medicine to kick in, which is about 30 minutes to an hour. Without medicine, yes, they can be debilitating at times. I think if your cramps aren't relieved by OTC medicine, and are knocking you out for a full day, you may want to look into PMDD.
I worked with a woman whose period always caught her by "suprise" at the same time every fucking month, and would leave early. Every woman there was like, "Is this bitch for real?"
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:07:24 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had cramps so bad a few times that I couldn't get out of bed. It's not just abdominal - sometimes it goes all inside your vagina and ass as well. Like if I sit down too hard or at the wrong angle it feels like stabbing. Plus sometimes I barf too. All my symptoms are better since I started taking Yaz though. I highly recommend it.
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I read that as 'better since I started talking to Yozz'
I did wonder.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had cramps so bad a few times that I couldn't get out of bed. It's not just abdominal - sometimes it goes all inside your vagina and ass as well. Like if I sit down too hard or at the wrong angle it feels like stabbing. Plus sometimes I barf too. All my symptoms are better since I started taking Yaz though. I highly recommend it.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-14 10:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
endometriosis
yes my wife had this, she had to have laproscopic surgery to have it "cleaned out" prior to having our first child, with no guarantee that it won't come back. since then we've had another child with no problems but in trying for our third we're pretty sure that its come back.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-08-14 09:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
speaking as someone who's wife of 10 years has experienced very intense, to the point of having a standing prescription for low voltage pain meds to deal with her cramps i'd say that your assumptions are correct in that those that do "call out" of work based on the cramping and overall "moopiness" are indeed malingerers. In all the days I've known her she's never called out for them but has struggled through many a day of overwhelming craps, all the while continuing to perform her job.
===
From pre-teens until my late teens, I spent time every month, sometimes 3 day spans, mostly coiled in the fetal position wailing and rocking like a mental patient. At times I thought I was hemorrhaging. Moderate-to-severe cramping can be pushed through, and it also raises your threshold for any other pain like you wouldn't believe- but this was not that, it was Satan himself living inside my lower abdomen. Also, women who have endometriosis tend to have a higher risk of these symptoms (I have tested negative for it, to my surprise).
Without treatment, I experience a level of physical pain so debilitating that it sometimes affected every aspect of my life. So much so, that I'm told by my doctors to expect to be on oral contraceptives until menopause. There are considerable health risks associated with OCs, especially with my family history, and I definitely want to have children (how I will navigate this I'm not sure)- but I still had to make this choice. I made the mistake of going off a few times, thinking it would change, the symptoms would return and the hormonal changes only fucked me up for weeks at a time until I'd go right back on. I'm guessing that answers the question about whether some time away from work is for legitimate and genuine reasons. Since I began OCs many years ago, I have not lost one work day due to these symptoms.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because the idea of a Menstrual Moon Goddess made me laugh.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We have "personal days" where you can schedule them or take them as you need for things other than sickness.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting, interesting...
I've always liked the idea of flexible working and am a firm believer in fairness in the workplace as being the only way an organisation can achieve both a positive and productive work environment. The flexible working arrangement, however, can be quite difficult to administer. Part-time workers, for example, need their holiday calculated in hours on a pro rata basis and flexible workers need their hours carefully recorded to ensure everything operates properly.
The US and other countries (and a few organisations in the UK) operate "duvet days", days where an employee can call their employer and simply say they aren't coming into work that day for any reason. What are your thoughts on such practice?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cramps aren't exactly fun but they're no reason to call in. Sometimes physical activity helps ease them so the women who use it as an excuse to get out of work are just being lazy cows. There's always Advil too.
I dislike my period only because it's inconvenient. Science needs to step up and figure out how we can bypass this annoying problem.
Remember all the new age, hippy-dippy, feminist crap about how menstruation is so wonderful and connects you to the moon and makes you a goddess? That's the biggest bunch of shit I've ever heard.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd also contend that if its socially acceptable for women to call out do to menstruation, then it should be acceptable for men to call out the week prior when women are at their bitchiest.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm all for banning menstration.
Wimmin folk clearly tell fibs and exaggerate so can't be trusted to have them. Case in point: they claim their norks get ultra sensitive so you can't play with them. Pfft! Rubbish and lies.
Personally, I think it's just an excuse to hog the sofa and telly, lounge under blankets and eat sweets.
Also If they can synchronise periods with friends they should be able to synchronise with some national computer radio clock science thingy to get it over and done with in one go between the hours of 3 and 5 on a Saturday afternoon.
Or alternatively they could have it on the radio during the shipping forecast. Viking: Variable 3 or 4, Rockall Malin: Southwest 5 to 7, Women: Backing south 8, occasionally very rough, rain showers later.
Scientific research is so often misapplied.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
speaking as someone who's wife of 10 years has experienced very intense, to the point of having a standing prescription for low voltage pain meds to deal with her cramps i'd say that your assumptions are correct in that those that do "call out" of work based on the cramping and overall "moopiness" are indeed malingerers. In all the days I've known her she's never called out for them but has struggled through many a day of overwhelming craps, all the while continuing to perform her job.
now as to whether these experts at getting over are more or less intelligent based on their ability to use a cliched excuse to miss work I think you'd have to look on an individual basis to determine as nothing is absolute.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you look up how people have rated you? I think you used to rate me positivly, but it seems like you may have shit on me some, too.
Until I know for certain, I shall not reveal my former self.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurtys never liked anyone.
come on, who were you.....
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But you haven't even gotten to know me yet. You used to like me when I was that other guy.
Jerk.
You and HBTS just jumped my shit on my first post so you sort of helped form my current persona.
Basically, what I'm saying is that it's your fault I'm a cunt.
So go fuck yourself.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:27:04 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel left out.
:-(
I want to get Ducky pregnant!!
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hmmm i dunno, you just seem to come across as a cunt
maybe thats a bit harsh
an immature cunt may be more appropriate
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHY, EI???
WHHHHYYYY!!!
I'm actually pretty enlightened, and liberal, and would even let gay guys suck each other off in my office bathrooms if they worked for me, as long as they were quiet about it.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 03:25:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I get it I get it. Gay/Bi/Lesbian.
But c'mon man. That was pretty funny. Admit it.
____________________________
It made me think of a friend of mine who works in film who swears up and down that Richard Gere is a girbler. I suppose that's sort of funny.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thnk a world ruling organisation consisting of Berty, myself and Ducky to regularly sort out these problems with society is in the offing.
So long as ducky swears not to get pregnant, come on, promise ducky.
================
I feel left out.
:-(
I want to get Ducky pregnant!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and premium, you were excluded from our commitee for good reason.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thnk a world ruling organisation consisting of Berty, myself and Ducky to regularly sort out these problems with society is in the offing.
So long as ducky swears not to get pregnant, come on, promise ducky.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I get it I get it. Gay/Bi/Lesbian.
But c'mon man. That was pretty funny. Admit it.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 03:22:19 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GBL?
Gerbil people? Should be able to raise children? I dunno man. I think that's asking for trouble.
_____________________
good. grief.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GBL?
Gerbil people? Should be able to raise children? I dunno man. I think that's asking for trouble.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
absolutely.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Today has been educational. I declare today a success.
*sits back, lights pipe, throws all work into "do it later" tray*
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do gay americans often want to raise baby penguins?
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How should I know, EI? I'm not a scientologist or nuffin'.
Alls I knows for sure is that a lot of 'Mericans sure do like penguins a whole heck of a lot.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GBL persons should absolutely be able to raise children. I absolutely believe that.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it's still a chick, isn't it now? You don't see the scars...yet.
Someday when that penquin is all growed up and waddeling about the world, he's gonna snap and blow the fucking heads off zoo visitors with a sawed off shotgun he stole from his his gangsta buddies houses.
All that, "your dads/moms are gaaaay" taunting he's getting right now at penquin school is making him seethe with anger, deep inside, and making him extremely unstable.
Mark. my. words.
He'll also hump sock puppets like there's no tomorrow during adolescence.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do gay americans often want to raise baby penguins?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If two gay penguins can raise a chick I don't see how two gay Americans doing the same thing is goign to cause any harm.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you hear? Some states in America are allowing gay folk to marry!
SSSSHHHHHHH! Don't tell anyone or it might catch on!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how extended is the time requested off for deprssion?
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Seems to be 2 weeks on average. That is discarding the ammount of time taken of for "stress" when someone is being disciplined or made redundant and is narced off.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:00:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're lucky i'm +2ing this because I saw no mention of them being femo's or plaintive claims for equal pay
that and I don't know wtf you're talking about
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oh yeah, what about gay men?
where do they stand?
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That, again, is another very good point. When it comes to holiday pay, flexible work arrangements and redundancy process; pregnant women are positivly discriminated against which is unfair on everyone else.
Men are able to claim Statutory Paternity Pay, which is exactly the same as SMP but only lasts for 2 weeks rather than 9 months. There is also a thing called Statutory Adoption Pay, which would entitle a gay menz in that situation to 6 months at the £123.06 rate.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty I'm not sure...women experience "woman problems" as you so aptly put it, very differently. I have one friend who used to be doubled over in pain for days with severe cramps and I'm not sure I'd be able to work like that either. Her GP prescribed her birth control because it reduces cramping and helps to regulate flow...you know, so the cleaning staff don't have to clean up after her.
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Do you think flexitime would have helped? Like if she could have stayed in bed that day till 11 but then made the time up?
Or even staying out for whole days and then, say, making the time up on the weekend?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-14 11:00:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're lucky i'm +2ing this because I saw no mention of them being femo's or plaintive claims for equal pay
that and I don't know wtf you're talking about
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oh yeah, what about gay men?
where do they stand?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how extended is the time requested off for deprssion?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i went out with a girl once who had severe tummy cramps for about a week a month
bitch never brought me my custard creams with my tea
that'll learn her!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're lucky i'm +2ing this because I saw no mention of them being femo's or plaintive claims for equal pay
that and I don't know wtf you're talking about
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, I'm not American. I hate those fuckers.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually had/have a female employee who became pregnant. As I work in the information technology bidness, I let her work from home when she became houselike and dindn't want to come in. She worked from there all the way up till she popped the little fucker out. After that she took 3 months off, which is pretty standard over here, and I paid her about 85% of her normal pay.
It may seem callous, but she actually wanted to continue working during the final trimester, which was fine by me.
Now the brat is walking and talking and I wish I'd just paid for an abortion instead.
=--------------=
Actually, contrary to thinking you callous I think work from home arrangements whilst a woman is off preggers is the way forward. We've often found that when a woman is off for a huge length of time with no contact with work that their skills detiorate.
What I am saying is that denying women the ability to do any work and earn money whilst recieving maternity benefit actually harms equal oppurtunities for women. So I find your viewpoint encouraging.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anal pain is terrible. Just ask Farrah Fawce...oh.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty I'm not sure...women experience "woman problems" as you so aptly put it, very differently. I have one friend who used to be doubled over in pain for days with severe cramps and I'm not sure I'd be able to work like that either. Her GP prescribed her birth control because it reduces cramping and helps to regulate flow...you know, so the cleaning staff don't have to clean up after her.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No no, Ducky said it, not EI.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my God! The next Doctors note on this one's file is for anal pain! What was her husband DOING to her?
God, I love working in HR. It is the best job ever.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually had/have a female employee who became pregnant. As I work in the information technology bidness, I let her work from home when she became houselike and dindn't want to come in. She worked from there all the way up till she popped the little fucker out. After that she took 3 months off, which is pretty standard over here, and I paid her about 85% of her normal pay.
It may seem callous, but she actually wanted to continue working during the final trimester, which was fine by me.
Now the brat is walking and talking and I wish I'd just paid for an abortion instead.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Incidently, the number of women who develop urinary tract infections whilst pregnant is horrifying.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 02:51:02 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well come on. You can't hold it against me. I mean, OML, you produced Caulaincourt. If there was ever a man with a vagina, it's that guy.
Uh...what is OML then?
________________________
nevermind. Caulaincourt doesn't count. He's french.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well come on. You can't hold it against me. I mean, OML, you produced Caulaincourt. If there was ever a man with a vagina, it's that guy.
Uh...what is OML then?
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Ordinary Maternity Leave. EI used to work in HR and it was probably either a slip or an intentional pun.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously though Ducky, do you think I'm right in thinking that these women claiming "women's problems" are actually suffering with depression and similar but are afraid to say?
If so, what do you think we (employers) can do to support them?
Premium, as a self employed American who does not have to worry as much about legislation but who may or may not have any employees, would you support an employee in the above situation or would such a thing be impractical for you, as an employer, to do?
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well come on. You can't hold it against me. I mean, OML, you produced Caulaincourt. If there was ever a man with a vagina, it's that guy.
Uh...what is OML then?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 10:44:41 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
EI, that is a very good point. A very good point indeed.
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Printed off, framed, held above my head, bottle of champers flowing over my naked body.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh no, i fucked my amusing correction to ducky, UP!
woe is me
fuck a ducky
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no premium for your canadian male bashing information it does not stand for oh my lord.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ordniary Maternity Leave is a period that lasts 6 months, afterwhich a woman is eligable to take Additional Maternity Leave for a further 6 months, three of which are paid.
The rate of pay is at a reduced rate, £123.06 a week or 90% of their weekly wage if it is lower.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oml?
Is...is that "Oh my Lord?"
Coz that's fresh, yo.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 02:43:31 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 02:42:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but you're in Canada where all men have vaginas.
____________________________________
oml how DARE you.
_____________________________________
HOW VERY DARE YOU?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
EI, that is a very good point. A very good point indeed.
On the one hand, I'm sure we can say that giving mum's time off to be all pregnant and shit, then time to look after the newborn is very good. Practically though, as you rightly state, it causes problems for the small business owner in particular.
My take on that has always been that everybody should work part time, all businesses should be open 24 hours a day, wages should be much higher and robots and computers used to modernise all processes in all businesses. Because, you know, fuck working hard for a living. Then it wouldn't be an issue.
The Government approach is to introduce "Keeping in Touch" days. That means you can get 10 days work out of a pregnant worker over the 12 month period (9 months is the amount of time they're able to recieve maternity pay). Also, it is worth noting that a company does not pay a single penny to a woman when they are off on maternity, it is all reimbursed by the government. So technically, you don't loose out if you take on another person on a temporary contract.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's how VERY DARE you
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 10:41:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the guys I work with over here recently went on paternity leave.
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see, thats the only reason i would want to impregnate someone
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 02:42:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but you're in Canada where all men have vaginas.
____________________________________
oml how DARE you.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 10:40:41 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus. Women get 9 months leave over there with full pay? Holy fuck.
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I just made that figuere up.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but you're in Canada where all men have vaginas.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the guys I work with over here recently went on paternity leave.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus. Women get 9 months leave over there with full pay? Holy fuck.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well lets bring up maternity leave then Berty, off work, full pay for 9 months, job has to be kept open etc etc.
If I ran a business i would only employ, men and ridiculously hot women who never want children and a few ugly ones who no one would ever want to impregnate.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It has nothing to do with the actual bleeding...it has to do with attracting bears. We're simply afraid to leave the house.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am self employed but I've had women "superiors," twice before in my life and under no circumstances, whatsoever, shall I ever again work for a ho.
I have nothing, per say, against chicks. There are many that I love and adore. But when you work for them you might as well find the nearest closet and fucking hang yourself, man, because your life is gonna suck until you leave or get a male boss.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry for unsettling you EI.
This is a bit tounge in cheek but it pretty much is the attitude of employers towards wimmin and mentalists. The challenge is to not be a dick about it whilst being fair to people without vaginas or sad faces.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:23:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck. I mean, I *can* just hear it.
I have to rate you higher now, because I fucked up.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol scrubbers
this made me feel sick
Sometimes a more discreet euphemism for "being on your period" is preferable, such as Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 05:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Sorry man. I like you and all, but this just isn't up to your usual standard.
There was nothing really new or clever in it. Just some flippant comments and lame joke toward the end.
I do like the don't bring me any work that will make me sad joke though. The tearful puppy was a stretch.
As I divorced man, however, I say with complete and utter sincerity and certainty: all women are bitches and should be treated as such.
In other news, I just won a fantastic product on Ebay and it's being shipped from your country to mine, which is unusual because shit usually comes from fucking Hong Kong, or here.
I've never actually been to Britain. I'd love to go sometime and sip tea in the country side and look at some cows and shit. That would be so fucking cool. I'd like to fuck a British chick, too. That accent would make me ejaculate quicker than...well...you, probably.
I can't just hear it: "yes yes, right there, move a little to the left...ahhhh that's it. PIP PIP!