How to Lose a War (738 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.11 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Oly (View user info) at 2009-08-14 06:48:54 EDT
Soooooo, I'm bored and so are you, judging by the front page. This means that I have more homework to post.
As I lay in bed reading a book about the operation in 2005 that led to the greatest loss of life in Navy SEAL history, the number 4,000 flashes across the television screen I left flickering in the background: CNN is reporting the American death toll in Iraq. I listen to officials from both sides of the party line claim that there is no magic solution for victory in Iraq, but I recall reading several accounts wherein a magic formula was laid out before this war began that would, if all its elements came together, lead us into an irresolvable conflict in the Middle East. I can't help but think that anybody who studies military history could have told you how you got yourselves into this situation.
Background
The history of military disasters is long and illustrious. Virtually every nation and culture can showcase an impressive catalog of strategic and tactical blunders. Some mishaps we blame on sheer stupidity, like George Washington's decision to construct Fort Necessity out of palisades at the bottom of a valley during the French and Indian War. Others, such Confederate General Stonewall Jackson getting shot in the back by his own soldiers as he led them into battle against Union forces during the Civil War, resulted from plain bad luck. The failures of these people, whether they were unlucky or stupid, can be applied to the life of any person, and in fact these lessons are essential for success in our daily lives. As Robert Greene writes in his definitive book on the subject, The 33 Strategies of War, "What we need is practical knowledge on how to deal with conflict, channeling our aggressive impulses instead of denying or repressing them...war is not some separate realm divorced from the rest of society. It is an eminently human arena, full of the best and worst of our nature" (Greene xvii). These guidelines, while certainly not comprehensive, provide a good beginner's handbook for any person interested in falling short of his or her goals.
Engage in Groupthink
Unity in command is of paramount importance to any group striving for dominance in war, and the opposite is true for those less interested in victory. The initial effort any person should make in preparing for defeat in any form battle may take is to completely dissolve the unity in its upper ranks of the organization by allowing individuals to think for themselves. Alone, people show a tendency to work toward their own goals and to further their own agendas. One person who issues orders to all those individuals serves to unify them and their interests, funneling all their attention and energy into one great effort. When Abraham Lincoln began preparing for the Civil War, he devised a strategy to defeat the South but he had no military background and the great majority of his generals disliked him and believed his strategic outline ill-conceived. Instead of allowing those commanders to do what they wanted, Lincoln found a single like-minded person to place in charge of the campaign. "Lincoln found his teammate in Ulysses S. Grant, who shared his belief in offensive warfare and who did not have an oversized ego. Once Lincoln discovered Grant, he latched on to him, put him in command, and let him run the war as he saw fit" (Greene 64). Besides Grant, Lincoln had a number of generals, all with their own resolute opinions and strategic ideas, most of them unwilling to alter their mindset in order to work collectively. Rather than place a man in charge whose strategies he would inevitably disagree, thereby sending contradictory signals to the entire army, he gave absolute control to a man he could work with. Instead of employing such a sound strategy for victory, failure necessitates you make use of a bureaucratic approach, which not only complicates the matter of preparation for war but also makes your fighting force less effective in battle, as contradictory forces simultaneously pull it in different directions.
Make No Distinctions
Whether you find yourself fighting guerilla infantry in the Colombian jungle or facing off against Taliban forces in the Hindu Kush, be sure your mish-mashed conglomerate prepares for any conflict with the same manner of foresight as last week's pick-up basketball game. Any person who thinks ahead and readies himself for battle with a specific opponent finds himself in an unfortunately advantageous position. Obviously, this adaptive mindset works against our goals of ensnaring defeat in battle. Miyamoto Musashi, the undefeated samurai, widely considered one of the greatest strategists to ever live, assumed a fluid mindset while preparing for any battle, using unconventional methods to defeat every challenger he faced. "Musashi won all his duels for one reason: in each instance he adapted his strategy to his opponent and to the circumstances of the moment" (Greene 20). Musashi was a master at adapting to the circumstances; if he maintained strategic rigidity - treated every enemy the same as any other - he would have certainly been defeated, his name lost to history, like most of those samurai he defeated in battle. "Musashi's opponents depended on brilliant technique, flashy swords, and unorthodox weapons. That is the same as fighting the last war: instead of responding to the moment, they relied on training, technology, and what had worked before" (20). The maxim states, "failing to prepare is preparing to fail," and Musashi's opponents indeed prepared to fail against him in battle by solidifying the tactics they'd used to defeat inferior opponents in the past. This practice of perpetually repeating the same steps allows your enemies to adapt to your methods and serves as an important stepping stone toward failure in any competitive enterprise.
Be Afraid
Losing the respect of those you fight remains one of the surest ways to accomplish defeat in a war, and the modern American military stands second-to-none in its adherence to this strategy. Nothing negates your advantages in technology, numbers, and training like proving you are not willing to suffer the same losses they are. The current campaigns in the Middle East and all those fought in the area since Vietnam have been touted as successes by Americans, but much less so by most of the Islamic world. George Friedman, co-founder of Stratfor, one of the world's foremost intelligence agencies, states that despite flashes of America's great military power in Operation Desert Storm, it served as a perfect example of America posing as a dominating force while in actuality, perceived by many to be a military weakling. "Having taken months to assemble a force to fight Saddam, the United States executed a campaign whose primary purpose appeared to have been the avoidance of casualties. More to the point, rather than continue the war to defeat Saddam Hussein completely, the U.S. ended the Gulf War prematurely...the Islamic world does not take the United States seriously as a military power" (Friedman 245). America, as of this writing, currently finds itself in a quagmire in Iraq, partly as a result of letting the Sunni regime off the proverbial hook after Operation Desert Storm. This factor was itself a result of an effort to avoid the stigma attached to military engagements in post-Vietnam America that cost American lives (Obama 288). Before burning Atlanta down during the Civil War, Union General William Tecumseh Sherman said to the mayor, who stood watching, "War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is the sooner it's over" (Fog of War). Altruism does not exist in a purely military sense, and applying altruistic values to your military ventures allows the enemy to control the dynamic, which profoundly assists a commander in his efforts to fall short of his goals with the added benefit of possibly costing his country more lives than if his forces were applied appropriately.
Accept Nothing Less
If your style calls for causing death and destruction on a widespread scale rather than saving human lives, opportunities still exist to be defeated in war. Winning battles in order to lose a war seems counter-intuitive, but history shows that the outcomes of individual battles make relatively little impact on the outcome of a war. Indeed, the Confederate General Robert E. Lee never lost a single military engagement, but still found himself on the losing side of things when the Civil War came to an end. More to the point, one military commander's name became synonymous with triumphant disaster after leading his troops to a resounding, crippling victory against the Roman Legions in 279 B.C. In an effort to dominate the Mediterranean, Pyrrhus set sail from Greece with the largest force ever to cross into Italy. Pyrrhus charged his forces headlong into Heraclea and captured a victory in a close battle at Heraclea, though the win came at the cost of losing a great number of veteran warriors and a number of key generals. Pyrrhus continued his charge, and his forces again met the Romans at the town of Asculum, where, through sheer strategic brilliance, the Greeks again exited the battle victorious - and decimated. "When congratulated on his victory at Asculum, [Pyrrhus] replied, 'If we defeat the Romans in one more such battle, we shall be totally ruined.' Pyrrhus, however, was already ruined. His losses at Asculum were too large to be quickly replaced, and his remaining forces were too few to fight the Romans again" (Greene 98-99). Pyrrhus was a tactical genius - considered at the time to be the second-coming of Alexander the Great - who failed to understand the idea of prudently choosing his battles. He relied on his ability to out-maneuver any opponent, but paid little attention to his options moving forward from each battle. In an attempt to garner defeat in a war, contemporary commanders batter serve themselves by depleting all available resources in one battle than by accepting defeat in a minor battle in order to ensure a greater victory later on. The term "Pyrrhic victory" applies to any engagement that puts its victor in a worse position than before, and such an accomplishment is possible for any myopic person in a position of power.
Ignore History
The most useful tool a military commander has available to him is the existence of a long history of military successes and failures of those who came before him. As the saying goes, those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it, and the most successful commanders abide by the lessons history provides. Robert McNamara, former U.S. Secretary of Defense under President Kennedy, knew better than anybody the importance of learning from the past: "Any military commander who is honest with himself, or with those he's speaking to, will admit that he has made mistakes in the application of military power. He's killed people unnecessarily -his own troops or other troops - through mistakes, through errors of judgment. My rule has been to learn, try to understand what happened, develop the lessons, and pass them on" (Fog of War). Prudent commanders' ears perk up when McNamara speaks because he had the unique opportunity to guide the American military through its only loss to date. Until his death last week, he was the only person alive who intimately understood the nature of the shortcomings of the American military institution on a grand scale. Any military commander who feels another disastrous campaign like Vietnam is worth striving for might ignore McNamara's lessons and repeat those same mistakes.
Conclusions
The idea that a person would strive to fail is ludicrous and self-contradictory, but there is an undeniable importance to learning these steps that lies in an understanding of the uselessness of waging an unproductive and costly war. Individuals who choose not to follow the lessons provided to them by the missteps of others will be disadvantageously affected by their own ignorance in anything they attempt. War is a constant among us, whether it is on a literal battlefield, in the office, in class, on a team, or in the community. Georg Hegel wrote, "man exists only in so far as he is opposed" (Greene 11). We develop our identities through warfare, in striving against the forces of those who strive against us. Furthermore, as Greene writes, "the state that wins wars with few lives lost and resources squandered is the state that can thrive over greater periods of time" (xvii). Our conquests ensure our longevity and every failure makes us more and more vulnerable to defeat. Only by internalizing these lessons and implementing them may we ensure success in all our endeavors.
ok, i also have a joke that i stole from entensity:
A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, "One".
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.65 ".
The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"
and while i'm at it i stole this picture, too. i guess to be fair, i have already seen this, and if you're good at the internet you've seen it too.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-08-20 18:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-08-20 14:01:30 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this video made me really uncomfortable.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-17 11:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-16 17:25:23 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-15 19:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL Yes, I'm sure you two boys have hilarious stories to tell about your "girlfriends."
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HAHA! a joke implying neither of us have girlfriends! dude, you should get in touch with comedy central.
seriously, that was gold.
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He's been using that zinger on me for the last year or so, and lord knows I haven't gotten tired of it. So, hotwillie/paymelater/ynh, how many times have you been banned and reincarnated just so you can recycle such a breathtakingly original joke?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-16 20:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-08-14 13:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's no conspiracy at work here. the US is simply losing control of the middle east and needs a military foothold there for the next couple of decades. iraq borders six countries, including iran and saudi arabia; it's strategically important.
trust me, they definitely want to win this war, but it's been fucked for a long time.
____________________
Dude, seriously? No one is educated enough to say exactly what is going on one way or the other. None of us are omniscient. No one can ever have every piece of information required to make broad statements about such a complex subject. The most you can do is discuss what you have heard. The moment you start saying you know exactly what's going on is the moment you start looking like you think far too highly of your own opinions.
I'm not even defending what you made your comment in response to, I'm just saying, dude.
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TRUE!
however, there is plenty of VERY GOOD information out there, but you actually have to look for it. if you watch CNN all day, or Fox News for that matter, you're not going to find it. none of us are omniscient, but you have to assume there are some people who know what the fuck is going on, and that they've put their thoughts out into the public arena. find that information, and learn something.
not that you need to even try very hard to understand that the united states can not afford to conduct another ineffective war in the middle east.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-16 20:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-15 19:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-15 18:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the problem is i usually forget and start telling work jokes to my gf who doesnt give a shit
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Oh my god, this is why I can't go to my girlfriend's work things. All they ever talk about, or complain about, is work, people at work, health benefits at work, etc... My girlfriend doesn't complain much nor does she like to talk shit about other people at work, so we usually end up keeping to ourselves. I actually have to go to some guy's last day party thing tonight, I'll have to pre-drink for this one.
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if you go and completely embarrass yourself and your girlfriend, you'll give her a lot to talk about at the next party.
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Guess who has a post in store for uber about last night, ha, oh man. I nailed it.
LOL Yes, I'm sure you two boys have hilarious stories to tell about your "girlfriends."
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HAHA! a joke implying neither of us have girlfriends! dude, you should get in touch with comedy central.
seriously, that was gold.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The joke saved it.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-15 19:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-15 18:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the problem is i usually forget and start telling work jokes to my gf who doesnt give a shit
===
Oh my god, this is why I can't go to my girlfriend's work things. All they ever talk about, or complain about, is work, people at work, health benefits at work, etc... My girlfriend doesn't complain much nor does she like to talk shit about other people at work, so we usually end up keeping to ourselves. I actually have to go to some guy's last day party thing tonight, I'll have to pre-drink for this one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you go and completely embarrass yourself and your girlfriend, you'll give her a lot to talk about at the next party.
===
Guess who has a post in store for uber about last night, ha, oh man. I nailed it.
LOL Yes, I'm sure you two boys have hilarious stories to tell about your "girlfriends."
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-15 18:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the problem is i usually forget and start telling work jokes to my gf who doesnt give a shit
===
Oh my god, this is why I can't go to my girlfriend's work things. All they ever talk about, or complain about, is work, people at work, health benefits at work, etc... My girlfriend doesn't complain much nor does she like to talk shit about other people at work, so we usually end up keeping to ourselves. I actually have to go to some guy's last day party thing tonight, I'll have to pre-drink for this one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you go and completely embarrass yourself and your girlfriend, you'll give her a lot to talk about at the next party.
===
Guess who has a post in store for uber about last night, ha, oh man. I nailed it.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2009-08-14 20:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the joke/pic.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
too long and very stupid. dumb cunts.
(doo____)
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-14 16:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
For the joke...
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-08-14 14:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-14 14:00:06 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Neato.
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Neato indeed.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-08-14 13:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's no conspiracy at work here. the US is simply losing control of the middle east and needs a military foothold there for the next couple of decades. iraq borders six countries, including iran and saudi arabia; it's strategically important.
trust me, they definitely want to win this war, but it's been fucked for a long time.
____________________
Dude, seriously? No one is educated enough to say exactly what is going on one way or the other. None of us are omniscient. No one can ever have every piece of information required to make broad statements about such a complex subject. The most you can do is discuss what you have heard. The moment you start saying you know exactly what's going on is the moment you start looking like you think far too highly of your own opinions.
I'm not even defending what you made your comment in response to, I'm just saying, dude.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-08-14 09:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did the paramedics get him "out" of that bench?
Did they pack it in ice, and make him keep repeating "Grandma on the toilet"?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 09:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my favorite part of the park bench story is the guy's name. its perfect for the punchline his life has undoubtedly become.
"he got his penis stuck. ZING!!!"
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-14 09:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neato.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 08:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's no conspiracy at work here. the US is simply losing control of the middle east and needs a military foothold there for the next couple of decades. iraq borders six countries, including iran and saudi arabia; it's strategically important.
trust me, they definitely want to win this war, but it's been fucked for a long time.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
one of those "win"s should be a "lose". Doesn't matter which i suppose. That's what happens when you write on a tiny little window in the corner of your work PC.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The USA doesn't WANT to win this war, but they don't want to Win it either. It wants to keep it going as long as possible. It wants as many bullets fired and bombs dropped as possible and if it does come to an end it wants a US benefitial US installed government in place.
This is an invasion on the back of a false flag, civilian killing attack on it's own people.
The New World Order was born on 9/11.
The only winner in this war will be Halliburton.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Premium, I know that much better than is socially acceptable. I will spare you the details. ooooh but now you want them.
Listen to me. No you dont.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually the whole post was interesting.
But you should know one thing:
The weekend ain't over just because the river's red, my friend.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-08-14 07:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cool man!
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-14 06:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting.
The guy humping the bench I mean.