bar stories (328 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.63 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by an angry drunk (View user info) at 2009-08-14 23:39:34 EDT
Well Uber, Its Friday night and I'm getting ready to go out with my friends and tear it up at our favorite karaoke spot. I will be 23 in a few months and have been to my fair share of bars and have experienced some things some cool and some weird.
On my buddy Joey's 21st birthday me and a few co-workers went to a local bar Rusty's. It was a Friday but for some strange reason it was packed more than usual, apparently the were having a high school reunion that night and we were lucky enough to attend. About an hour into our night I get my ass squeezed, I turn around to see a what looks like flavor flav's mother in a tight outfit holding a bud light. My first reaction was disgust and I just turned around, two seconds later I feel someone rubbing on me the group to my left who were here for the reunion started laughing and said "she wants you bro" . I turn around to confront the drunken skank when I realize what she's doing, My friends start busting up laughing this crazy bitch was grinding on me. Oh yeah imagine how I felt I was getting grinded on by a 50 something still think she looks good in here daughters slut attire bar skank. by the way Rusty's is a rock bar so yeah she was grinding to Metallica.
So I stand up almost tripping on my stool and hold up my hand and tell her to go grind on some one else I even pointed to my friend Joey who was on his way to the bathroom. That sick bitch then licked my finger in a way that if done by anyone remotely attractive would have been great but the fact that she did it well, My dick sucked up into my body. While I was looking for some disinfectant she started walking to the bathroom.
In the bathroom Joey was about to shut the door when the bar slut rushes in and offers to give him a hand...he panics and starts shutting the door squeezing her body she wont give up though so he does what anyone in his place would do proudly he opens the door catches her off guard takes her by the head and pushes her away from the door making her fall flat on her ass. The whole bar is watching this now hella people are laughing others are cheering for the bar slut to give him a blow job. He opens the door and runs outside, the bar slut gets up brushes herself off and yells to the bar "if anyone wants a bj follow me to my car". So yeah not a bad 21st birthday for Joey we ended up getting him so fucked up he called his girlfriend told her to come to his house for some birthday sex then we drove him home and he passed out on the front lawn.
Something about 21st birthday's that are so magical.
User Reviews
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-08-15 14:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What exactly is "my fair share of bars" to a 22 year old?
"Man, I've been to a lot of really wild bars, bro. Once, me and my buds, we drove an hour and a half to party at the Hard Rock, that's some fucking class, yo. The babes were hot, and slutty. I just got paid from Micky D's, yo, shift supervisor FTW! So, I was had this fat wad of $5's and I was making it rain! We were pounding Bud's and Coors, we had a few shots of house vodka (because we roll large like that) and we totally hooked up with this group of chicks that were there to play the nickle slots. My bro Reggie, totally was pimpin that night and decided to play the dollar slots because he's got mad cash from his telemarketing job, and walked off with a $250 jack pot! That night was epic."
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-08-15 14:40:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
epic fail
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-08-15 12:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. This was real original...Someone got drunk in a shithole on a Friday night.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-08-15 09:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bartenders and your fellow bar patrons HATE people like you.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-08-15 05:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this was fucking dull
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-08-15 04:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am not your buddy.
Just wanted to make that clear.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-15 03:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
could not get past the second line
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-15 02:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and another one for having the creative writing cognition of an autist
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-15 02:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2009-08-15 02:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"hella people"
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2009-08-15 02:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"hella people"
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-15 01:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh... any hole's a goal.
you big wordly 23 year old you.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-08-14 23:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This must have sounded better in your head.